Captives
by Joannawrites
Summary: Lou's devastation over her estrangement with Kid causes her to flee blindly into danger, and it is Jimmy to ride after her. When they are captured by a Sioux war party and taken to the village as captives, they will have to rely on each other for support and survival. Both will be forced to confront their growing feelings for the other. Gap-filler, post-ep. Color Blind. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story takes place after Color Blind. It originally appeared at The Way Station, around 1998.

Chapter 1: Lightning Strike

"Rider Coming!" Teaspoon's gruff voice sounded from the across the station yard.

Lou sighed and gazed at her half-eaten bowl of stew, "It figures. The only time in his life Cody is early would have to be because he doesn't want to miss lunch."

The others laughed and nodded in agreement as Lou pushed herself up from the table, "I'll see you all in a few days," She smiled.

"Ride safe, Lou," Jimmy, Buck, and Noah chorused and smiled gently.

Even with the warm words from them, it was impossible to miss the absence of the Kid's usually predictable plea for her to be careful. They boys glanced uneasily at him, but as was typical of him lately, his lips were tightly pressed together.

Lou sighed audibly, but Buck was the only one to notice. Things were about as bad as they got between the two of them. After Lou had refused his proposal, saying she wasn't ready for marriage, Kid had grown very cold and distant from her. Lou had never imagined he would be so very angry with her. After all, it was he who had fallen for another woman right away. It had been Jimmy who'd seen her hurting, and Jimmy who had offered her comfort.

A fact Kid had not failed to notice. While he was angry at Lou, he held barely concealed malice towards Jimmy, and that troubled Lou. She'd never dreamed to come between them, and yet, Kid had moved on so she wasn't sure what business it was of his with whom she spent her time.

Lou glanced at Kid, flushed a bit, but then turned quickly from the table. Still, Jimmy saw the sadness in her eyes. It had been there often lately. Jimmy glared at Kid, willing him with a piercing stare to tell her to be careful, to watch herself, or just goodbye. Kid, although his expression was every bit as miserable, said nothing. He didn't even look at her.

And so Lou fled, no doubt to cry her eyes out halfway to the next station.

When the door closed with a bang, Jimmy turned to Kid, "Would it kill you to say a kind word to her, tell her to take care?"

Kid's eyes snapped with anger, but his voice remained neutral. "Seems like you are both perfectly happy having you take care of her."

"Kid," Noah scolded.

"A month ago you would have called me out if I implied what you just did," Jimmy pointed out, his voice lower now.

"You calling me out Jimmy?" Kid said angrily, rising from his spot at the table.

"You are acting like a fool, Kid," Buck stood up too, ready to come between them if Jimmy proved as foolish as Kid.

Surprisingly, Jimmy stayed seated, a feat which they wouldn't have thought possible until a few months ago.

"I ain't calling you out Kid. I ain't never gonna call you out. Even if you'd hurt Lou and the others that way, I wouldn't."

Kid was speechless, and they were still staring at each other with hostility cracking between them when Cody burst in the room. "Indian trouble! A pony express rider out of Willow Springs almost lost his scalp. They may have to call in the Army."

"What happened to start the trouble?" Noah wondered.

"Which tribe?" Buck demanded at the same time. His loyalties were painfully divided between the world of the white man and of the Kiowa, and he dreaded the day his two worlds collided. It was, of course, inevitable.

"Sioux," Cody supplied quickly, putting his friend's mind at ease, but knowing that Indian trouble of any kind meant danger for his friend from people who did not see different shades of red.

"Is Lou going to be all right?" Noah suddenly wondered, "She's heading in that direction."

Cody sighed, "I tried to warn her, I was yelling at the top of my lungs for her to hold up, but she acted like she didn't even hear me. Seemed kind of upset when she took the pouch and ran. I tried to catch her, hold her up, but she had the fresher horse."

All eyes turned to Kid in accusation. He squared his jaw defiantly. His heart was thrumming in his ears and adrenaline washed through his bloodstream. Everything in him was tensed and ready to dash off to protect her like he had always done, but she had made it clear she didn't want him being that person for her any more. So, it cost him, but he stayed put, mind racing over what this news might mean for Lou.

Teaspoon strolled in about that time, "What the hell was all that commotion at the hand-off Cody?"

Cody turned to Teaspoon, "It is the Sioux. One of their villages was raided, it was pretty much a massacre. They aren't interested in talking anymore. They are just a step away from declaring all out war. Express rider was attacked."

"The express rider, did he make it?" Noah suddenly asked.

"Lucky he had a fast horse," Cody said, "The horse came into the station with an arrow in his flank, and the rider caught two in the leg. He will make it."

"Teaspoon, do you think Lou will be all right? Ike's out too," Buck wondered.

Teaspoon sighed, "I wish I would have known this before I sent Lou out. I would have waited for more word before sending any of you into that mess. When is Ike due in?"

Jimmy glanced at Buck, "Tomorrow. Ike is on the right side of the trouble. I don't think the Indians will venture as far East as his route. But what about Lou Teaspoon?"

Teaspoon sighed, "I don't know what the best thing to do is. I don't want any of you in danger."

"I could go after her, bring her home," Jimmy suggested. "Or catch her and complete the run. She's got a head start, but I think I could catch her inside an hour."

"I'm sure you could," Kid muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear him.

Jimmy threw his hands up in frustration as Kid got up and left the bunkhouse.

Teaspoon stared hard at the door Kid had just walked out. Jimmy cleared his throat lightly to regain Teaspoon's attention.

"Go after her or not?"

Teaspoon sighed and nodded. "Go get her, bring her back. She's smart and she's the fastest rider we got, but she ain't a match against a war party."

"Two guns aren't much better, Teaspoon. That war party had 12 braves, from what I heard," Cody muttered.

"Ride fast, son," was all Teaspoon could tell him.

"So if they catch her, and they find out she's a girl, what happens?" Cody wondered, mainly out of morbid curiosity.

"You don't want to know," Buck supplied, and walked out of the bunkhouse, wishing he didn't.

The dust was still settling after Jimmy had ridden out as Buck walked the yard with his eyes downcast, not really having a purpose in mind. It could be so easy to hate the Sioux for endangering his friend, but he understood their plight like none of the others could. They had been wronged, left in grief, and they had absolutely no recourse. Vengeance was the only justice they could seek for their losses, because the government had left them no other way.

Of course, Lou had done nothing to them, but there was no way the Sioux would see it that way. She was a trespasser. They all were. And anyone to cross their warpath now would suffer. Be it from a horrible, unspeakable death to what could be an even more gruesome captivity, depending on which band got her, Lou wouldn't fare well.

"Buck?" Kid's voice startled him from his unsettling thoughts. Buck eyed Kid, who was leaning against the entrance to the barn, watching the direction Jimmy had ridden. Interactions with Kid weren't easy these days, and Buck wasn't in the mood for a fight.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to tell me the truth, and I figured you'd know more than anyone…"

"What is it, Kid?" Buck asked patiently now that he saw the worry in Kid's face.

"Is Lou in danger?"

"I think you know the answer to that, Kid," Buck said quietly, then sighed. The look in Kid's eyes betrayed his recent attitude toward Lou. He was pale with fear. Buck took a deep breath then nodded, "She could be. I mean, that is if they are still in the area; they might have moved on. They might not kill her, if they found out she was a woman, but if they took her captive she might wish they had."

Kid nodded, and wordlessly turned and walked back to the bunkhouse.

Buck had half-hoped he'd show some of the protectiveness that had driven all of them, especially Lou, crazy and leap onto Katy to ride after her.

Still stung from her accusations of him crowding her and refusing to believe in her abilities, still smoldering that where he'd lost his best friend in her, Hickock had benefitted from her undivided attention, he didn't.

Lou looked at the stationmaster and sighed in frustration. "What do you mean Indians? Do you think the Sweetwater station would have let me ride out if there was real danger?"

He'd been arguing with her about her riding out for several minutes now.

The stationmaster was a short, heavy set man in his late twenties. He had an air of arrogance. "Told you, Sioux are acting up. Damn savages. I say we kill all of 'em!"

Was that what Cody had been shouting to her about as she urged Lightning to run away from the station, trying to get away before she cried? The man at the relay station where she'd switched horses earlier had tried to tell her something too, but she'd ignored him. At that point, her sadness about Kid had turned over into mad, and she had just wanted to ride until she was too tired to think about or feel anything.

Why hadn't she listened? She was angry at herself for her own foolishness, then childishly, she was mad at Kid all over again for causing her to be angry. And so it went, she thought, circles and circles of hurt and anger and betrayal, all underscored by the fear that she'd made a terrible mistake in not accepting his proposal, and knowing the damage she'd done by refusing him was irreversible. She had her pride, and so did he.

"Look, why are you complaining? You ain't got to ride out of here, you can rest awhile. We got an extra bunk."

Lou cast an uneasy glance to where the boys of Johnson's station were lounging lazily, and smugly, on the porch of the rickety shack. They were a wild bunch, one of the wildest bunches in the whole express, but they were good at their jobs. They'd never liked Lou because of her (or as they thought his) small size. She didn't relish the thought of spending any length of time with them.

Besides, Lou had promised Teaspoon she wouldn't stay in other stations when she had an overnight run. That promise had been a relief to everyone at the station, including her.

"Look, Joe, just give me a fast horse okay? This stupid nag couldn't outrun a slug," Lou said, and forced a smile gesturing to the lazy chestnut she'd gotten at the way station while Lightning rested, "I've got to move on."

Joe took it personally, apparently. "Too good for us? You think just cause you got Wild Bill at your home station you can turn your nose up at us, boy?"

"His name is Jimmy," Lou growled, but realized that was a fight she didn't want to pick. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Lou glanced at the sunset. The beautiful colors mingled with ominous clouds. It wasn't looking to be a nice ride back.

"Look Lou, I just don't think you should ride out of here," Joe said.

"It's my business, Joe!" Lou snapped, her patience wearing out as she grew ever more uneasy about being forced to stay where she was.

One of the riders jumped lightly to the dust and swaggered out to where Lou was standing in front of Joe. He was chewing on a straw. He was a good-looking young man with sandy blonde hair and dark brown eyes.

"Let him go, if he is so set on getting scalped. Sioux would probably throw him back anyway. No challenge in taking that runt."

Lou's eyes glinted angrily, but she said nothing.

"I'll saddle him up a horse," the boy said and turned toward the barn.

Lou nodded at Joe, knowing the man was just looking out for her. "Thanks for your concern. I just got business in Sweetwater."

Joe studied her, "Must be awful important business to be worth dying for."

Lou didn't say anything, uneasiness crawling up the back of her neck at those words as Joe walked away.

A few minutes later the rider swaggered out again in the same lazy manner, leading a bay colt by the reins. The horse looked half-wild.

"He's green, but fast. Think you can handle him?"

Lou would have died trying rather than admit she couldn't. It was a challenge he thought she couldn't measure up to, but he didn't know that she was quite adept on horseback. She felt confident that she could handle him.

"I can ride anything you can saddle," She said through clenched teeth.

He raised his eyebrows and said calmly, "We'll see."

Lou acted like she didn't hear him, and taking the reins and a handful of mane she leapt onto the horse. She was ready when he reared for the sky. She knew everyone at the station was watching her, waiting for her to fall off, to ask for help. She could only imagine how surprised they were when she skillfully brought the animal under control. He trotted docilely to the edge of the station yard, and then with a loud cry from her, was suddenly in a dead run.

"He can ride, that's for sure," Joe admitted to the boys, who reluctantly nodded in agreement.

Jimmy rode hellbent. Horrible, gruesome images played in his mind over and over again, most of them ending with Lou's pretty hair on the belt of some brave. The danger out there was real, and Lou was in the middle of it, and not up to her usual sharpness because of her worry over Kid.

And Kid wasn't doing his job of worrying enough for all of them.

How fast had she been pushing the damn horse? He wondered. He hadn't had a sight of her. He'd switched horses at the way station, been warned by the station master about the trouble. He'd been caring for Lightning, who'd been in the corral long enough to be cooled, but the station master said he'd come in in a lather and the boy on his back couldn't be bothered to stop to listen to the danger out there.

"Rode like the devil was behind him," the stationmaster had said of Lou.

Night had fallen when the worst of the storm unleashed. Lou was weary to the bone from fighting the young horse. Unfortunately, the horse had a never-ending source of energy. One day he'd be a great horse, Lou was sure, but at the moment she was considering shooting him.

The sun had set a few hours ago, and the only light she had after the colors faded had been the occasional flash of lightning. She thought the darkness her friend though, and hoped if there were really any Indian braves out, they couldn't see any better than she.

The storm, which had held off nicely, broke upon her. Thunder clapped in her ears until she wondered if she'd ever hear again. Her horse spooked badly, nearly unseating her. Luckily, she hadn't dropped her guard and hung with the animal.

Lighting began splitting the sky in jagged streaks that seemed closer than any Lou had ever encountered. She gasped as she saw a streak escape the sky and destroy a tree not far from her at all.

Thunder again roared in her ears, and then the rains came. It seemed as if a million pounds of pressure drove the sudden downpour onto Lou and her horse. Snorting, the horse reared for the sky suddenly, and Lou almost lost her seat again.

Lou tried to gather her wits and calm the horse, but with lightning streaking all around her, she became very frightened, and the sensitive horse knew it. If he'd been wild before, he was quickly becoming ferocious, rearing and bucking as if he'd never had anyone on his back.

And then the hail started.

Lou cried out in pain as ice the size of pebbles pelted her arms and back. Hailstones bounced off her cheek hard enough to feel like a blow. The horse snorted and pitched his head between his front legs, bucking mightily as the hail stung him also.

Another streak of lightning split the air right over their heads, and both Lou and the horse screamed in terror. Then the colt was rearing for the sky, trying to fight off the lightning with flailing hooves. He seemed to reach upwards forever and Lou pushed her weight forward, trying to force him back to Earth.

Suddenly something was wrong. The horse had gone too high and struck out too hard and had lost his balance. Lou realized with a jolt that the horse was coming over backwards, on top of her.

Too late, she freed her feet from the stirrups and jumped, but wasn't fast enough to escape all harm. She landed split seconds before the horse and only had time to move her upper body before he crashed down on her legs.

For what seemed an eternity, but was actually only a few agonizing seconds, Lou lay underneath the stunned colt.

Then he thrashed his legs, and Lou felt the air from his sharp hooves whoosh by her face, and knew he'd missed her by inches, if that much.

The colt fought for his feet, slipping in the mud. Lou gasped, trying to regain the breath that was knocked from her in the fall, and unable to cry out at the agonizing weight on her leg.

In a flash of lightning she saw the horse above her, and then tried to duck as the horse wheeled. She wasn't fast enough and his hoof clipped her temple. She was aware of the horse's hooves retreating and the ground trembling.

She slowly closed her eyes there in the open trail, fighting for breath like a landed fish, as the rain beat mercilessly upon her.

Jimmy was frustrated and hopeless. He'd kept riding into the night, and through a hell of a storm, but he hadn't found Lou yet. A steady rain still fell. He was drenched to the bone and cold, and still the rain kept coming. At least the Sioux wouldn't be out prowling, he thought. No one in his right mind would be out in this.

He'd been in a panic since talking to the relay horse master. The damn first horse he had been given had gone lame within the first miles after leaving. He had exhausted his knowledge of curse words on the way back to exchange for a sound horse, who was a nag compared to most of the express horses. Jimmy had had to double back once more when the cinch on his saddle had snapped.

He warily rode into Johnson's station, announcing his presence loudly, hoping they wouldn't mistake him for a brave and fill him with lead. He would feel so foolish if she'd stayed here after all, he thought grimly, but he prayed she had. He could see those cocky boys laughing at him now as he rode up, soggy and worn out, to the rescue of a rider that had been safe all along. He was willing to face them, and in fact hoped desperately he would have to. He didn't want to think of the type of jeering he and Lou would be in for about the nature of their relationship should the riders think he'd gone after the boy.

Joe, the station master met him, "What the hell, Hickock? Do the lot of you in Sweetwater not got a lick of sense between you?"

"I'm lookin for Lou, Joe. He's here, right?"

The expression on Joe's face was like a punch to Jimmy's gut, and he knew.

"He rode for home hours ago. Before sunset. You didn't pass him?"

"Why the hell did you let him ride out?" Jimmy shouted, bringing the other riders out with interested expressions to see why Wild Bill was so riled up.

"Son of a bitch wouldn't listen to a word I said," Joe shrugged.

Approaching hoof beats made themselves heard over the rainfall, and hoping against hope, and willing to barter his soul in the bargain, Jimmy turned as the others drew their guns, hoping it was Lou.

Not a word was uttered as a bay colt, lathered in sweaty foam and coated in mud ran wild into the yard, blowing hard, eyes rolling.

"Was that Lou's horse?" Jimmy growled.

"Told ya he couldn't handle him," one of the boys on the porch said smugly.

Understanding immediately what had happened-the boys giving Lou a half-wild horse she never would have admitted she could not handle, Jimmy fixed his eyes on the one who had spoken. "God damn you. Anything happens to Lou, I'll be back for you. I need a fresh horse, damn it. Fast."

He rode out in five minutes, with a sputtering lantern, trying to follow the tracks of the bay colt. He needed Buck, he thought, or, more reluctantly, The Kid. Both were superior trackers. And both would have told him it was nonsense to track at night.

The tracks led him off the main trail home. Had the storm turned her around, gotten her off the trail? Or had she been taken off the trail? Or had the damn fool horse taken a detour before running for home?

His panic was choking him as he followed the tracks, not sure what else he was supposed to do.

It had to be close to dawn when he saw something on the narrow trail ahead.

Lou was lying face down and motionless in the mud right on the path in front of him, and her whole face was streaked with blood.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In Flight

Lou looked like a child's doll lying in the road, limp and boneless and broken. He screamed her name, but she didn't stir, and his knees buckled when he reached her, crashing down beside her in the mud. He'd thought her dead, honestly and truly gone, and so when she moaned a bit and winced as he rolled her, he felt nothing so much as overwhelming joy.

She didn't have any broken bones, but there was a sizable gash on her temple, and both legs were bruised badly. One ankle was swelling against her boot, he remembered that it was the same one she'd hurt a while back when Daisy had spooked her horse. She'd obviously taken a bad fall last night, but Jimmy was still relieved she hadn't been set on by braves and left for dead.

"Let's get off this trail. No sense in us being sitting ducks," Jimmy muttered to himself and Lou, though she was just coming to, blinking at him in confusion and raising her hand to poke at the edge of her head wound.

"Hey, Lou," he said by way of greeting and scooped her up, surprised at how light she felt, soaking wet.

There was not a massive amount of cover, but a small stand of trees, one of them still smoking from a lightning strike, did give them some shelter. He set Lou down against one of them, using his bedroll as a pillow behind her head. She drank deep from the canteen he offered her, refused food.

"Jesus, Lou. You had me worried," he finally said softly. "You okay?"

"Well, a horse fell on me. Of course I'm not," Lou reasoned. "And when I get back to Johnson's Station, I'm gonna knock the teeth right out of that cowboy's mouth for giving me that damned loon of a horse."

She was in a terrible mood, Jimmy discovered, probably in eight kinds of pain. Her eye was blackening from the pressure of the knot on her temple. She held her arms gingerly against her ribs, and he doubted she could put much weight on her bad ankle.

Despite himself, Jimmy's face broken into a wide grin, even though doing so made Lou look at him like he was the village idiot. "I'm just happy to see you, Lou."

"Likewise. But let's talk about what in the hell you are doing here, why don't we?"

"I came after you to tell you there is trouble with the Sioux, cause it seems like you were too pigheaded to listen to anyone else tryin' to warn you. I chased you all day yesterday and never so much as saw the hind end of you or your horse. Then when I got to Johnson's and heard you'd already headed home, I was sure the Sioux had got you, Lou. But when that horse came running home, and I tracked him back here. You're pretty far off the trail to Sweetwater, Lou. What happened?"

Lou glanced around, no familiar landmarks in sight. "I had a green horse and a hell of a time staying on it. I musta got turned around in that onslaught yesterday. Horse dumped me, rolled on me for good measure just to make his point, I guess," she shrugged. "I never seen rain like that, Jimmy. Damn, I am near drowned. I don't feel like I'll ever dry out again!"

"Your head the worst of it?" JImmy asked, moving over to look at the wound. It probably should have been stitched, but he certainly couldn't do it, and by the time they got back to Sweetwater, it'd be too late.

"Yeah. My ankle hurts too, but I don't think it's broke. She moved it experimentally, wincing but figured it'd hurt a lot worse broken, though she'd never really had a broken leg to compare it to.

Jimmy looked up in surprise as Lou started struggling to pull herself up.

"Where do you think you're going?" He wondered.

"We should get going. The others will be worried about us," She mumbled, breathing heavily as she attempted to gain her feet. Her voice caught a bit when she added, "'Except Kid."

Jimmy shook his head, trying to ignore the comment about Kid. "It's too dangerous right now. We'll wait till night falls and go then."

"We really should get back…" She began and at the same time tears began rolling down her cheeks. Big tears that Jimmy wished he knew how to stop.

"Aw Lou," He said softly and scooted toward her where he put his arm around her shoulder, "You can't keep on like this. You'll make yourself sick."

"He hates me, or worse yet, he don't feel nothin' about me at all. It's my fault too. I used to get so mad at him for trying to protect me, and now sometimes I feel like I'd give anything to have him that way again."

She was crying hard now, the pain as new and fresh in her voice as the first night after Kid had shown an interest in Samantha. As he had that night by the campfire, Jimmy did his best to comfort her, but felt he failed miserably.

"Kid doesn't mean half of what he does. He's as miserable as you are, Lou. I can see it in his eyes. You just have to trust that things will work out like they are supposed to."

He added the last part as much for himself as for her.

"Hey Lou, wake up," Jimmy said softly, bending down to touch the sleeping girl's arm. Night had fallen. The on and off rain had stopped and the moon was slowly rising.

Lou's eyes opened slowly and she again seemed startled to see him. She quickly remembered their need to move quickly. She let Jimmy take her arm and help her to her feet.

"Are you going to be able to ride?" He asked with concern when he saw her grimace.

"Yeah, I'll be fine once I move around a little," Lou assured him, and attempted to stretch out her stiff muscles while Jimmy got the horse ready.

"Let's go," He said, and motioned her to the horse. He practically lifted her into the saddle, despite her protests that she could do it. He then climbed onto the horse in front of her.

"Won't make for good time, with us both on this horse," Lou commented.

"We'll get our horses at the relay station, hopefully we won't run into trouble before then."

"Hopefully we won't run into trouble at all," Lou corrected him quietly.

They began the long ride at an easy lope, and the horse carried them easily. Both of them kept their heads on a swivel, looking for danger from any side.

They were a few hours from reaching their horses, and safe passage into morning, when Jimmy felt Lou's arms tighten sharply around his middle and heard her gasp.

"What is it?" Jimmy asked, even as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end and a chill ran down the length of his spine.

"Up there," Lou whispered, and her voice trembled in fear.

Reluctantly, Jimmy turned his eyes upward, to a small rise. Ice took over his veins.

Silhouetted eerily against the silver moonlight were about twenty Indians on horseback. They were motionless.

"Do you think they see us?" Lou hissed, burying her face into Jimmy's back, leaving only her eyes to peer over his shoulder.

Jimmy placed a hand that was quickly unsteady on hers, and found it clenched and trembling wildly.

"If not, they will," Jimmy said.

He felt her head press further against his back and her arms wind more tightly around him.

"Dear Lord, what is going to happen to us? Oh, Jimmy, I can't believe I've done this to you." Her breath hitched, hysteria clawing into her tone.

Jimmy's voice was strong, and he squeezed her hand hard, "Lou, don't you do this right now! Get a hold of yourself. We're gonna have to work together to get out of this one."

He could hear her breathing become slower and more controlled. He matched his breaths to hers.

"Jimmy, I want you to listen to me, and I don't want you to argue. You have to leave me here. This horse can't outrun them with both of us on his back, but with one, he'll probably make it. If you leave me here, they won't kill me, I don't think. Then, you can go get help and come and find me."

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said, Lou," Jimmy said, looking into her whiskey colored eyes, shining with unshed tears. Then to soften the words, "I ain't leaving you for nothin."

"What do we do then, Jimmy?" She pleaded softly for an answer.

"I don't really know. But we do it together, got it? No more of this 'leave me behind' stuff from you, promise?"

She sighed. "All right, but we'd better decide quick. They are going to see us. They are looking for something, anything…"

As if they'd finally decided to end the torment of the two people below them, the Indians let out a collective whoop. The earth shook as their horses began plunging down the hill.

"Hold on!" Jimmy screamed at Lou, and bashed the horse mercilessly in the sides with his boots, "We're gonna try to outrun them."

Lou didn't make the comment that both of them knew to be true. There was no way to outrun them with double the weight on the horse.

Jimmy headed for the foothills, hoping to lose the Indians in the heavily wooded area that surrounded the river. He could only pray they couldn't track at night.

"Oh, Jimmy, they are breathing down my neck!" Lou cried into the wind. She'd again buried her face in his broad shoulder blades, unable to watch.

Jimmy prayed fervently that they wouldn't draw their bows, Lou was vulnerable in the back.

If the boys at Johnson's station had given Lou their worst mount first, they'd made it up by giving Jimmy their best. The little horse they rode had a heart of gold, and actually opened the gap between them. They climbed a small rise into the foothills, and then Jimmy veered off the trail, heading at full speed into heavy undergrowth. They both cried out as branches and briars clawed at them.

The horse was soon covered in a white lather and blowing heavily. Jimmy knew the animal could go no further and live.

"Lou, the horse has had it. We have to go on foot," Jimmy declared.

Lou was off the horse in an instant. Grabbing his saddle bags and slinging them over his shoulder, Jimmy took Lou's hand firmly and began leading her at a mad pace through the underbrush on foot.

They seemed to run for hours. Lou did her best to keep up with Jimmy's long stride, and long after her strength left her, her fear and will to live kept her pushing. But there were limits to those too, and at one point Lou's knees buckled and she crashed to the ground. Her bad leg felt like it weighed five times what it usually did, and she could barely bend her knee with the swelling.

Jimmy's hold on her hand was so tight that he nearly dragged her after she fell.

"Go on Jimmy, I can't go any further," She wheezed.

Sweat streamed down Jimmy's face, and he couldn't find Lou's eyes in the pitch darkness, "Damn it Lou, we already discussed this! We are sticking together. Get up, we have to keep moving!"

"Jimmy!" She half-snapped, half-sobbed.

Rather than mince words, Jimmy reached down, grabbed her under her arms, and hauled her to her feet.

"Come on," He growled, "If you want to live, come on!"

Lou squared her jaw and nodded to herself. He was right. She couldn't give up now. If she gave up, then she forfeited not only her own life, but Jimmy's.

And so they kept moving through the night, with no idea where they were going, but knowing that any way was safer than the way they came.

It seemed like years before they staggered to a stop, the river stretched before them.

"There's water," Jimmy panted.

"Think its safe?" Lou wondered, her thirst making her nearly insane.

"I haven't heard or seen anyone since we left the horse," Jimmy said.

"Maybe they gave up," Lou dared to voice her hope.

"Maybe," Jimmy said reassuringly, but he knew better.

"We can only take a quick drink, then we take cover again," Jimmy warned her.

They stumbled out on jelly-like legs and flung themselves down on their knees at the water's edge. Both took in water as if they'd been wandering the desert for months.

Then they heard it, a soft crunching sound all around, nearly indistinguishable from the rustle of the leaves in the wind, but growing steadily closer.

At the same time, they threw their heads back in alarm, but it was too late.

Six Sioux braves on surrounded them, every one of them painted for war…


	3. Chapter 3

Captives 3: Survival

It came to Jimmy in a ferocious rush of surprise that he did not want to die.

Not too long ago, he'd been ready to sign his life away in a town called Regrets, but standing here facing what he was reasonably certain was a violent death, he knew he was not ready. _And Jesus_ , he thought. _Lou._

Jimmy glanced at Lou for the briefest of seconds to gauge how she was reacting. Her eyes were nearly wild in fear and he could see her trembling. Tears glistened on her eyelashes.

Slowly, hoping Lou would follow his lead and attempt to remain calm, Jimmy stood up. He held his hand out to her. She remained where she was, paralyzed. He couldn't blame her.

He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it quite hard to get her attention. When she didn't respond he grabbed her under her arm and dragged her to her feet. Once on her feet she looked him straight in the eye. She looked a heartbeat from hysteria.

The braves were creeping closer to them, surrounding them carefully.

Jimmy knew at any minute both he and Lou could be killed. He glanced at her. If they thought she was a man, they might kill her. A woman, and maybe they'd take her captive. And she'd survive it somehow. He knew it like he knew her. It was suddenly his only goal.

She wore her man's clothing, but her hat was long gone in the storm and her shirt unbuttoned at the throat and stretched after the run through the brush. Jimmy was ashamed to admit it, but he had noticed the moment she had stopped binding her breasts, months ago. She did not look anything like the urchin he had met, been fooled by. Jimmy was relieved that there was no mistaking her for anything other than a woman now.

He toyed with what to say; wondering if he was about to utter his last words.

"Stand behind me Lou. Whatever happens to me, stay calm and don't panic, all right?"

Lou looked as if she might protest, then set her mouth in a straight line and moved behind him, "Oh God," She breathed as the Indians stopped.

"We're pony express riders," Jimmy began, holding his arms out. "We mean you no harm!"

The braves murmured, obviously not comprehending his words.

Suddenly an older man that Jimmy took to be the leader rode into the circle and brought the horse to stand in front of Jimmy.

Jimmy wondered if they could hear the wild thumping of his heart. He didn't want to die. Not like this.

Lou was standing close behind him, and Jimmy was very much aware of her even with everything else, the feather touch of her fingertips on the back of his jacket, the warmth of her breath at his ear. If they were both to die, he prayed they'd kill him first. He didn't have the strength to watch Lou die. Tears threatened his eyes at the thought.

The man on horseback suddenly raised his spear. Jimmy raised his chin to die like a man.

" _No!_ " Lou screamed at the top of her lungs, piercing the night air. She darted from her assigned place behind Jimmy and threw herself in front of him, all five feet of her, spreading her arms, "No!" She growled again, looking straight into the leader's eyes. "You leave him alone!"

"Lou!" Jimmy growled and grabbed Lou hard for the second time, jerking her back behind him, "Damn you, stay there!"

Seeing the look in his eyes caused Lou to fear him almost as much as the Indians.

The leader had not moved, and still sat with his spear raised. Jimmy looked him in the eye. The moonlight cast a bright silver glow on everything and bounced off the water.

Slowly, and for reasons neither Jimmy nor Lou could understand, the chief changed his mind and lowered the spear. He motioned to three braves and spoke to them in a sharp voice.

Lou braced herself as they approached, sure she was going to be scalped.

Jimmy was more hopeful. The chief, if that's what he was, had apparently decided to spare them…for now.

Jimmy and Lou both had their hands bound tightly. They were thrown onto the back of a horse, with Jimmy behind Lou, and led off into the night.

Where they were going they couldn't even guess, and what would happen to them when they got there they didn't want to imagine. But they were still alive, and that was something.

"We could make a run for it," Lou suddenly said out-of-the-blue over her shoulder.

"I don't think we need any more of your daring acts of bravery," Jimmy muttered.

Lou turned around in the saddle, and under the watchful eyes of their captors snapped, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Jimmy knew he was about to start something he couldn't finish, but replied angrily, "You know damn well what it means. I told you to stay behind me!"

Lou would have hit him if her hands hadn't been tied, "And you are a fool! You would have done the same thing if you were me, and you know it! So don't get all noble on me right now Jimmy! It's my fault we're in this mess!"

"No it is not, Lou," Jimmy said more calmly, then thought angrily _its Kid's fault!_ But he shook that notion too. It wasn't anyone's fault. They just happened to be unlucky.

Lou sighed, thinking that the argument was over.

Jimmy opened his mouth to say more and then realized how pointless it was. It was over with, and they were on borrowed time. They couldn't fight each other.

"Next time, stay behind me," He said quietly, and added, "Please."

"I'm not ever going to just stand there when someone I care about is in danger. I'm disappointed that you'd think I would."

Jimmy smiled wryly, "What's your plan of victory here, Lou?"

"You've always been the only one convinced I could take care of myself," Lou pointed out.

"That was when I thought you had some sense. After that incident, I'm not so sure."

He was trying to get a smile from her, but it was useless. Her eyes were wide in fear still when she turned to him, "What are we going to do?"

Jimmy wished he had an elaborate plan to explain to her and comfort her.

"We're going to survive, that's what," Jimmy said as convincingly as he could, but his voice wavered.

Lou turned back around wordlessly.

They seemed to ride forever. Lou's head throbbed with every hoof beat, and her hands had been numb for quite awhile. She had the feeling of ascension, but thick forest surrounded the horses, so she could not get her bearings. At first she was petrified, sure that at any moment they would be killed, but as the hours passed, she realized that they would be kept alive until they reached where ever it was they were going, and her exhaustion overtook her fear.

Her eyes closed slowly and her head bobbed. Jimmy was surprised when suddenly her head eased back to rest on his chest. She turned her face sideways and the slowly setting moon revealed bright traces of tears. She had cried herself to sleep.

He didn't blame her. Every settler in the West had at one time or another contemplated the danger of capture by Indians. It was the singular reason some stayed in the East. Horrible, unthinkable things happened to white men and women captured by Indians. Not many lived to tell of those things…

Jimmy leaned his forehead down to rest on hers for a minute.

Lou grimaced and opened her eyes slowly. She was in the daze of someone who had gone through something traumatic and didn't wish to confront it. But she had never been one to procrastinate. Slowly she opened her eyes and discovered it morning. She was lying on the ground, bound tightly at the hands and ankles.

She wondered how she had gotten there. She didn't remember getting off the horse, and couldn't believe that she wouldn't have stirred when strange hands pulled her down and tied her legs up…but that seemed to be what had happened.

All thought and reason fled her mind because as she looked around she discovered Jimmy was nowhere in sight.

"Jimmy?" She called at first, very softly. She studied the surroundings. Apparently they were back at the village of the Sioux. Teepees were set up in a flat, grassy valley with a wide stream curving through it. Mountains encased them on all sides.

"Jimmy!" She called louder when she realized he wasn't going to answer.

"No," She murmured softly to herself. She envisioned a thousand different deaths for Jimmy, all of them equally torturous.

Against her better judgement but finding herself unable to control the wild, horrible panic that came over her, Lou began screaming and fighting the ropes.

Over and over again she cried his name, while sobs racked her. The ropes chafed her already cut and bruised legs and arms even worse. She was aware of two braves running toward her, one man and one woman.

With a burst of strength she was able to free her ankles. It was instinct and not reason that caused her to get up and run. But instead of running away from the village she ran directly to the heart of it to find out, for better or worse, what had happened to Jimmy.

She heard shouts and exclamations in the strange Lakota tongue, but didn't slow down. She was being pursued closely now by three more Indians.

She screamed again when she felt one of them grab her arm, and she tripped. She and the Indian crashed to the ground.

Lou wrenched herself to face the Indian who now pinned her with his weight, but her hands were still tied and it wasn't long before he subdued her.

"Where's my friend? Where is he?" She demanded defiantly, as if she had the upper hand. He didn't understand her. His black eyes were stormy.

Without saying a word to her he climbed to his feet and reached for her. Lou shrank from his hands, but he grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Lou kicked and twisted, but he held her securely.

She saw the surprised faces of the Indians as she was carried past them, deeper into the village. Young and old faces, women and men, all of them with eyes that had seen too much…

"Put me down!" Lou demanded again and used her bound fists to slam them into the Indian's back, "Jimmy!" She screamed, not even realizing she was sobbing.

She was quite surprised when she heard his voice from nearby ask quietly, "What Lou?"

About that time the brave dumped her onto the ground in an undignified heap at the feet of Jimmy, a young Sioux brave, and the oldest man Lou had ever seen.

Jimmy sighed, wanted to kill Lou. Of course, he couldn't really blame her for panicking, he would have done the same thing if she had been gone. Last night they'd been tied up and left on the ground, and Jimmy had not slept at all. Instead he had watched Lou sleep fitfully. She had cried out softly several times. For Kid.

His eyes looked over her now in the daylight. She looked awful. Her clothes were caked in mud from the fall off the horse. Her forehead was bruised badly. Her pants were torn up to the knee on both legs from the ride and run through the underbrush. He suspected the blood he saw on her legs was a result of not only briars but the ropes the Indians used.

She scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could with her hands bound and darted to stand beside Jimmy. Her eyes sought his, but he didn't meet them squarely. Instead he was looking at the chief and the young brave standing beside him.

Lou jumped in surprise as she studied the younger Indian. Instantly there was something very familiar about him. His hair was a lighter brown than the raven-haired Sioux, as were his eyes, but his bone structure was strikingly Indian.

"Curly!" She finally said softly.

His eyes met hers and for a moment there was no recognition. He remembered Jimmy easily, but it took him longer to realize the young girl standing at his side was actually the young boy (or so he thought) who with his blood brother Kid, had saved his life.

Lou knew how surprised Curly must have been to discover who she really was once she could see the memory of her in his eyes. He'd seen her only as Lou, the pony express rider.

Jimmy glared at her and shook his head slightly, warning her to stay quiet.

The chief, who had been interrupted by Lou's arrival, looked at her steadily, then turned back to Jimmy and spoke to him in Lakota.

Jimmy met his eyes calmly, then when he paused shifted his eyes to Curly for the translation.

Curly spoke in his beautifully clipped accent, "Running Horse does not wish you to be killed. I have told him how you saved my life, and helped the People and he honors that."

"So we can go?" Jimmy asked quickly, before Lou could. He believed her right to be independent as much as she did, but now was not the time nor place.

Curly turned to Running Horse and asked the white-haired Indian the question. Running Horse calmly listened and considered.

Jimmy and Lou held their breath.

Curly turned back to them, "Running Horse will keep you here. He cannot risk having the camp discovered by the army. We sought revenge on a singular express rider, who got away. He raped one of our women. We do not wish to start a war, but it is too late. The army will look for us now."

"I give you my word that we will not tell where the camp is. You have been merciful, we don't wish you harm. You know that Curly," Jimmy pleaded.

Curly again consulted Running Horse. There was a brief argument between them as Curly did his best to convince the chief that, in fact, the two riders would keep their word.

Jimmy sighed, knowing there was no reason for Running Horse to trust any white man's word.

Curly again turned to Jimmy, "Running Horse has decided. You will be treated as guests because of your friendly deeds. You and your woman will be given a teepee. You will not be tied up. You will be accepted in the tribe."

Lou's eyes had gotten big.

Jimmy pointed out quickly, actually blushing. "Curly, she's not my woman."

Curly looked at them both "I would not tell that. If she is a lone woman, as a captive, any brave in the tribe can claim her as his own."

Lou and Jimmy looked at each other. Lou's cheeks turned a fiery red. Jimmy nodded quickly. "All right."

Running Horse snorted. Curly heard the amusement in his voice but Jimmy nor Lou recognized it when he said, "Tell him to control his woman."

Curly repeated the message to him and Jimmy's mouth twitched. He could sooner control the weather, and he suspected both the chief and Curly knew that.

Lou huffed indignantly, but kept her mouth closed.

"Why were we brought here?" Jimmy wondered.

Curly did not ask the chief. He explained quickly, "The pony rider who dishonored our woman got away. We were determined to find him. The braves were scouting the area. When they spotted you they thought that you were him, and that Lou was another woman taken. They would have killed you when they caught you, but when the girl jumped in front of you, they knew you had not hurt her. We brought you here to let the woman who was raped make sure it was not you. It was not."

Jimmy felt shaky. By jumping out in front of him, Lou had indeed saved him.

"How long do we have to stay here?" Lou blurted out.

Curly obliged her by asking the question.

Running Horse murmured a response then walked away.

"Well?" Lou demanded.

Curly was looking at Jimmy when he answered, "Until the Spirits have told him it is safe to let you go."

Lou's jaw dropped incredulously.

Jimmy wondered, "And how long will that take?"

Curly shrugged, "I don't know. But he has made up his mind. I cannot question him. I'd suggest you grow used to the idea. Don't try to escape. You will not make it out of the village, and they will kill you."

"We have friends who will look for us, who won't stop until we are found," Jimmy said.

"Then I would pray that they do not find you. It would cost them their lives. Even my blood brother, Kid." Curly had a hard edge to his voice.

Jimmy and Lou stared at each other. Running Horse could call them "guests" all he wanted, and give them all the freedom within the village in the world.

They were still very much captives.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Raven Wing**

Curly was silent for a few moments, allowing the realization sink into Jimmy and Lou. They stared at each other wordlessly, yet Curly guessed that neither of them really saw the other.

Finally he cleared his throat, "Come, I will help you find a suitable place to set up your teepee."

Jimmy snapped out of his daze and met Curly's eyes, "All right." He then reached out to squeeze Lou's shoulder gently, "Come on Lou."

She followed obediently, walking slightly behind Jimmy and Curly, the blood rushing in her ears the only evidence that her world was utterly coming apart at the seams. She wondered if Jimmy was plagued by inner turmoil as well and doing a better job of hiding it.

Curly showed them through the village, explaining where people of importance lived, where they should not go, where they were free to wander. All the while dark-eyed men, women, and children peered cautiously at the visitors. The People knew that these were not ordinary captives, and looked at them with curiosity, but no malice.

"Curly," Jimmy suddenly said, "I thought your tribe was further south."

Curly smiled, "Ah. I married Running Horses' daughter, Raven Wing."

Jimmy nodded.

"And my blood brother, Kid. How is he?" Curly asked.

Lou faltered in stride at the very mention of his name, for she'd been thinking of him.

Jimmy knew Lou was listening to every word, and forced his voice to sound light. "He is well. He will be worried when we do not return. So will the others."

"No he won't," Lou muttered under her breath, but Jimmy heard her and sighed.

Curly turned around to smile at Lou, "And you are very different than I remember you!"

Lou tried to smile, didn't quite succeed, "I guess so."

"Much better now," Curly said approvingly.

Jimmy looked at Lou with some pity. He knew that she was a direct woman, and with their future in the balance, would be maddened by such inconsequential talk. If he knew her, she would be good and ready to blow right now. She was hiding it well for a woman with an often transparent face. He couldn't get a read on her expression-did not have a guess where her thoughts lay regarding their current predicament. Jimmy himself thought it a miracle that they might both be allowed to live. He had confidence with time, Running Bear could be convinced to let them return home.

"Ah, here we are. My home," Curly announced proudly, then called out softly in Lakota.

Jimmy and Lou were both taken aback by the beauty of the woman who emerged from the lodge. She had the long blue-black hair of the Sioux, and it flowed to her hips. Her eyes were shaped like almonds, and the deepest of black. She was tall and lithe and grace personified. She studied the visitors carefully, and then her face broke into a beautiful smile.

"James and Lou," She said in slow but sure English, "Welcome."

"This is my wife, Raven Wing," Curly said, his pride in her shining from his face."The most beautiful woman under this sun and the kindest."

She bowed her head to them and then said with a glint in her eye, "He forgot to help me with a task yesterday. This is his way of asking forgiveness."

Jimmy laughed and Lou mustered her first real smile of the day, charmed despite herself.

"Our guests must be hungry," She said in the same careful, but well spoken English, "Let us eat before you begin to set up your home."

Jimmy didn't miss the violent shiver that ran down Lou's spine at the word "home".

And so, they ate. Buffalo stew. Jimmy was ravenous and consumed his with gusto, and then most of Lou's. She had no appetite, and Jimmy was too hungry to argue.

Lou sat in the grass as Jimmy and Curly worked on cutting the last of the wood poles for the teepee. She idly picked at her torn pants. She hadn't even a change of clothes with her since the horse carrying her saddlebags had run away. She was filthy, covered in mud, and smelled like a sweaty horse and worse after riding on the back of Jimmy's horse last night and crashing through the woods on foot for several hours.

Had that only been last night? A lifetime of worries had come down on her since then. She knew she was sulking, feeling sorry for herself, but she didn't care. She figured she had been dealt a bad enough hand to wallow a bit before dusting herself off.

Jimmy watched carefully as Curly laid out the wooden poles and then drug a large piece of buffalo hide over the grass to the spot Jimmy had chosen; it was a bit secluded, located under a towering oak tree. Lou hadn't been interested in helping. Curly and Raven Wing's teepee was the closest to them.

A brave called sharply to Curly, who then turned to Jimmy apologetically, "I must go! The horse trader is here, and I am the translator."

"Oh," Jimmy said simply, and then looked doubtfully at the poles and hide lying on the ground.

"Is not as hard as it looks," Curly said quickly, as he slipped back into his vest. He proceeded to rattle instructions to Jimmy rapidly. Jimmy lost him after, "First you…"

Suddenly Curly was gone, leaving a shirtless Jimmy standing amidst the unassembled tee pee.

Jimmy noticed Lou watching him with interest.

"What!" He demanded, lips twitching.

"I didn't say anything!" She protested, and managed a smile too.

"Keep it that way!" Jimmy growled playfully and putting his hands on his hips studied the mess for a moment, "Not a word!"

Lou raised her eyebrows, but kept her mouth closed.

An hour later, Jimmy, now covered in sweat, stepped back triumphantly and waved his hand at the precariously right-leaning tee pee.

"See! I knew I could do it!" He was bursting with pride.

"Do what?" Lou wondered, feeling closer to laughing then she had since she left the station.

"Make the teepee!" Jimmy snapped, waving his hand at his masterpiece.

"You'd sleep in there?" Lou wondered.

"Yeah, why not? What's wrong with it?" He wondered.

"Nothing as long as the wind doesn't blow," Lou said nonchalantly.

Jimmy looked as if he might kill her, and Lou fought back a giggle. It was absurd. Jimmy honestly thought he'd done a fine job of building them a home, and Lou wouldn't have stepped inside for fear of her life.

"Damn it, Lou, I've been over here sweating for hours and that's all you can say?" Jimmy demanded.

"No, I can also say watch out!" Lou exclaimed, covering her mouth as the teepee leaned even more violently, though Lou wondered how that was possible.

About that time the structure toppled over, mostly on Jimmy.

Lou laughed until tears filled her eyes.

He ended up on his back and stayed there, staring up at the sky and wishing the ground would swallow him so he wouldn't have to face her. It was inevitable though, as she slowly got up from her spot in the grass and crouched beside him.

"You all right?" She asked, her head eclipsing the sun.

"I'm fine!" He growled, although his head hurt like hell where he'd hit the ground. But if his arm had fallen off, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing he was in pain.

Lou helped pull the hide and two light poles off of him and he jumped to his feet, brushing the dirt from his sweaty back and shoulders.

"I don't understand what I did wrong!"

"You didn't secure the two main support poles. Curly told you to do that," Lou answered matter-of-factly.

Jimmy thought of how easily his hands would fit around her slim white throat. Through clenched teeth he hissed, "Why the hell didn't you tell me that an hour ago when I started!"

"You told me not to say anything," Lou replied breezily.

She started to walk away, and Jimmy smiled devilishly. In two long strides he caught her, and swooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder.

Lou, afraid of his wrath, cried out, "Jimmy! Where are you taking me?" She struggled to see around him, but couldn't.

"Jimmy! Jimmy!" She laughed nervously, "Okay, this isn't funny anymore!"

Jimmy smiled from ear to ear, though Lou couldn't see him, "Oh, I think it's down right hilarious!"

"Jimmy, no!" Lou began as she suddenly saw water beneath his feet.

But it was too late. Jimmy promptly dumped her in waist deep water. Lou slipped under the surface and came up sputtering. Wiping water out of one eye, she squinted up at him while brushing the hair out of the other eye.

"That was uncalled for," She pointed out.

Jimmy was laughing too hard to hear her.

That's probably why he was so surprised when she grabbed his leg and jerked hard. The rock bed of the river was slick, and he too slipped into the water.

As he came up coughing, for he'd inhaled water when he fell in it laughing, Lou smiled sweetly, "Now, _that_ was downright hilarious!"

A few minutes later, refreshed from the cool water, albeit soggy, Lou and Jimmy climbed back up to their clearing, Lou leaning heavily on Jimmy's arm as her ankle started bothering her.

Several of the tribe had watched this exchange with expressions that ranged from amusement to concern for the mental stability of their white guests.

Curly strode up and surveyed the two, sopping wet and smiling and then looked at the teepee, lying much like it had been when he left it.

"Ah, so you waited till I came back to do this," He said, "Just as well, you probably couldn't have figured it out on your own."

Jimmy groaned while Lou said innocently, "He's probably right, Jimmy."

She then retreated to watch them go about setting up the teepee again.

As it took shape, Lou was just thinking of what a small space it was to share with Jimmy when a voice from behind her startled her.

"Lou, come, I've some things for you."

Lou spun around to find Raven Wing standing behind her. She'd crept up with true Indian silence.

Lou climbed to her feet and smiled at the beautiful woman. She followed her back to the teepee.

Raven Wing smiled, "I hope to be your friend while you are here. That is why I hope you will accept these gifts."

In her outstretched arms were two buckskin dresses. One of them was simple, fawn colored, for every day, and the other was bleached almost white with beautiful turquoise bead work.

Lou looked at the dresses for a long moment. Her clothes were ruined. There was no doubt about it. But something about adopting the attire of the tribe felt more permanent than she was comfortable with. Weakly, Lou protested, "Oh, I can't take these! This one is so beautiful! You can't give this to me."

"They are too small for me now," Raven Wing insisted, "And I will never wear them again after the baby is born…"

Lou met the woman's shining eyes and they shared a gentle smile.

"That's wonderful!" She said softly.

"Yes," Raven Wing agreed, "But now, come. I will show you where you can wash. Although I saw James throw you in the river, I believe you are wanting for more water!"

"I don't know, I think I inhaled half that river," Lou commented.

Raven Wing laughed lightly, "You are happy with James, you appear very much in love."

Lou stopped in mid-stride, and her mouth hung open. She remembered then that she was supposed to appear Jimmy's woman. She smiled, hoping it would suffice as an answer.

Curly and Jimmy watched as the two women walked by them and disappeared on a wooded path.

"Lou will be all right?" Jimmy wondered.

"My wife will watch over her." Curly promised.

They went back to constructing the teepee. Lou had been right, Jimmy admitted grudgingly, he should have secured two of the big poles first.

Lou was surrounded by deep, cold water. There was a bend in the river with a deep, calm pool, sheltered from the village by the trees. Although she'd been shy about undressing in front of Raven Wing, the woman's steady presence had put her at ease. Raven Wing sat on the river bank, enjoying the sunlight filtering through the treetops, while Lou bathed. Lou's teeth clacked together, but it felt wonderful to scrub her filthy skin with a bit of soap Raven Wing had. It smelled of honey and she wondered where it had come from, thinking it surely had belonged to some poor pioneer family massacred by the tribe.

Raven Wing, with wisdom beyond her years, read Lou's thoughts and said softly from the rock she perched on. "Ah, you are contemplating the horrible deaths of the owners of that soap. Not to worry, my friend, the Indians trade for goods with the white man. The Sioux are mostly a peaceful people. We wish only to live our way."

Lou blushed in shame, "I'm sorry," She said simply, not denying her thoughts.

"It's only natural for you to be wary of us. We are certainly wary of you. Maybe in time, we will both discover the other is quite civilized."

Lou's heart sank at the reminder that they would be there for awhile, "Raven Wing, do you know how long your father will hold us here?"

Raven Wing sighed and said quietly, "You will be allowed to go when you have proven yourselves worthy to the spirits."

"How?" Lou wondered, knowing she wouldn't get a simple answer.

"There is no way to know yet," Raven Wing said. "I know it must be difficult, but please know that four generations of my people weigh in the balance if we make the wrong decision in trusting you too soon."

Lou nodded, a lump in her throat, and turned her back on Raven Wing. She wanted to scream, but instead kept methodically scrubbing. She felt her skin might wash off any minute. She lathered her hair furiously and ducked under the water, glad to be free of the Indian woman's knowing gaze.

"You think you will be unhappy here," Raven Wing wondered when she finally resurfaced.

Lou turned slowly to face her, "I have a life somewhere else. I wish to return to it, that's all. This is not my place."

"But the man you love is here. Surely that is all that matters!"

Lou nodded again and turned away to hide the tears, baffled at how easily the thought of Kid could bring them on. She wondered momentarily if the thought of Kid would ever cease to twist her heart. How different it might have been if Kid had been the one to come after her, to confess he still loved her.

She was more disturbed to think of the charade she'd been told to play with Jimmy. Jimmy Hickock, to most of the world was a ruthless gunslinger, but to her Jimmy was...something else. Her best friend, and once upon a time her brother, but now something more. Her feelings for him confused her, and scared her. When she'd been with Kid, the excitement and the newness and the sheer depth of feeling she'd had for the first rider to carry her secret had eclipsed what she'd felt for Jimmy. She'd never allowed herself to examine the feelings closely, never had cause, but she had known she felt more for him than she ought to, and that Kid's mad jealousy had not been completely unfounded. When Kid had started pushing her to be something she was not was when she'd realized that one among them had always taken her as she was, never doubting her, never wanting her to be anything different. She admired everything about Jimmy: his character, his humor, his heart, so quick to love even when it was bad for him, and from the very first day at the station, she'd thought he was something special to look at.

Lou considered confiding to Raven Wing that she was not Jimmy's woman, but thought the better of it.

Whose woman was she then? Certainly not Kid's. Jimmy was the one who cared for her enough to risk his life to come after her, who had put himself between her and danger, had been ready to die before her. He was now voluntarily participating in a charade to keep her safe, and she had given no thought to how he might feel about that.

For all purposes, she was more Jimmy's woman than Kid's now. She remembered the time when she was happy being her own woman. No longer could she pretend she didn't need anyone. Not when her heart split at the very thought of the love that she'd known...and lost.

She sighed and hugged her arms around herself, for the water suddenly seemed to have a cold bite. She shivered, decided it was time to go back to the reality of camp, and ducked under the water a last time.

When Lou surfaced she heard Raven Wing's voice, but instead of the beautifully lilting English, her voice was high and angry, and she spoke in rapid Lakota.

Lou swung around and her heart slammed against the wall of her chest. Two tall braves stood at the water's edge, gazing at her. She lowered herself to her chin in the water and was very much aware of her vulnerability.

Raven Wing was furious, yelling at the two braves and pointing back toward the village, but they paid her little attention.

Lou didn't like the look in either of their eyes and she backed up in the water, trying to think of how she would fight them if they came close to her. The bar of soap in her hand didn't promise to be a good weapon. Her toes found a loose river stone and she reached down for it, wrapping her fingers tightly on it.

One of them shook of Raven Wing's hold on his arm roughly and started into the water, not bothering to take off his high moccasin boots. He advanced closer, eyes locked on Lou.

"You stay away!" Lou warned him, and folded her arms across herself.

The other brave stood on the bank, holding Raven Wing, who had not ceased her furious protest. Raven Wing screamed a final time, and broke free, running back down the path as quickly as she could, leaving Lou alone with the two braves.

Lou had been scared plenty of times, but never quite so acutely as she was when the brave stopped a few feet from her. He was tall, his chest and shoulders still out of the water. Lou's toes barely grazed the bottom of the pool at this depth.

In the moment that Lou's eyes sought to locate the second brave, now in the water, the one closer to her lunged, grabbing her around the arms and yanking her out of the water, against his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Dark Wolf

The brave pulled Lou closer to him. He held her out of the water at arm's length, studying her in a dispassionate assessment that both terrified and infuriated Lou. Reaching out, he touched her breast, experimentally.

"Get your hands off me!" Lou growled and yanked back hard, but only managed to lose her footing on the slick bottom of the riverbed. She would have gone under water but the brave held her upright.

He grinned wickedly, and turned to say something to his friend over his shoulder.

Lou seized her chance. She swung the rock in her fist at his head, catching him in the temple. When his hold on her arm slipped, she reared back and with every bit of power she had, she kicked out, putting both feet squarely into the man's stomach. While he doubled over she began swimming for her life to the other end of the pool, planning to run through the deep forest on the other side of the river.

The second brave laughed and dove through the water to come after her. Lou was a fair swimmer, but not a match for him. She could hear his powerful strokes bringing him closer and closer. She felt his hand at her ankle and kicked him off with the loudest scream she could muster, as out of breath as she was.

He grabbed her leg again, yanked, and she was pulled under.

She came up coughing hard, water and hair in her eyes. She flailed in the general direction she thought he was.

He grabbed a handful of her hair and dunked her under the water again when she kicked at him and missed, barking a Lakota word that she imagined meant, "stop it or I will drown you."

Finally, he subdued her by pinning her against him.

He laughed, letting his hand wander over her bare skin, giving her backside a light slap that might have been friendly had it been from someone else, like Cody swatting playfully at her like he did sometimes. Furious, Lou twisted and turned, but she was close to her physical limits after the last few days.

A shot rang out and a bullet sent a spray of water high into the air.

The both instinctively flung themselves to the side. The brave lost his hold on Lou, and she took the opportunity to kick him hard again, missing his groin but finding his shins instead. She swam to a safer distance, and turned to see who had fired the shot.

A sigh of relief escaped her. Curly and Raven Wing stood at the bank. Jimmy was thigh deep in the water, gun in hand, staring at the brave close to her with murder on his face.

Curly leapt into the water beside Jimmy, and stopped him by placing a hand on his chest.

"I will handle this!" Curly insisted, "Do not shoot again!"

"You get them away from her right now Curly or I'll kill them!" Jimmy growled, leaving little doubt that he meant it.

Raven Wing also walked into the water, placed a gentle but firm hand on Jimmy's arm, tugging him back a bit. "She is safe now."

"Not until they are out of the water," Jimmy disagreed.

Curly spoke to the two men in Lakota, and his voice was low and deadly.

Lou cowered low in the water, her eyes shifting from the man in front of her, to Curly, to Jimmy, to the other Indian in the water. Every one of them looked like a strung bow, ready to snap.

Especially Jimmy. His finger still rested on the trigger of his Colt. If he killed a brave in the camp, Lou thought, there was no way they would spare his life. She tried to meet his eyes, to give him a look that meant _stand down,_ but his eyes never left the braves in the water with her.

"What's he saying?" Jimmy demanded of Raven Wing without looking at her.

"He tells them that they have gone too far with their games!"

Jimmy finally turned his eyes to her incredulously, "Games! Is that what your people think this is? Is that what you called it when the woman from your tribe was raped?"

"They would not have hurt her. They wanted only to scare her," Raven Wing said softly, cautious of his anger, though she knew it not directed at her.

"The hell they wouldn't have!" Jimmy spat out, then turned to Curly, waving his gun, "Curly, you get them out of that water or I will!"

Curly ignored him. He continued his tirade against the two braves.

The two men had been silent up until that point. Suddenly, though, the one that had first gone after Lou disagreed heartily with something Curly said and angrily stormed out of the water, stopping inches from Curly's face. He yelled furiously.

"What's he saying?" Jimmy asked Raven Wing.

Raven Wing was loathe to tell him, but knew that it was a matter that would need to be addressed. "Dark Wolf says that Lou is now his woman, his captive…he says he saw her first, that it is he who tracked her through the night."

The words were barely out of her mouth before Jimmy stormed to where Curly and Dark Wolf stood. Jimmy angled himself so that they stood toe to toe, and nearly nose to nose.

"She is _my woman_!" Jimmy yelled, pointing at himself, and Dark Wolf sneered dangerously. Jimmy spoke to Curly but kept his eyes boring into the brave's, "Tell him Curly!"

Curly did so.

"And tell him that if he ever comes near her again, I'll kill him!"

Curly spoke to Dark Wolf, but he did not convey the threat. A captive did not threaten a Sioux warrior.

He told Dark Wolf to go, and to take his shadow, Laughing Fox with him.

Dark Wolf planted his feet, and told him, "I take her with me." He nodded his head toward Lou.

Raven Wing suddenly joined the melee, her voice high and outraged, and she spoke so rapidly that even someone who spoke Sioux might have had trouble getting all the words.

Jimmy watched in amazement as Dark Wolf seemingly shrank in fear and slunk away. His friend, Laughing Fox, followed. Finally, Lou was alone in the water.

With the danger past, Lou contemplated the scene they'd wandered up to-herself hauled half out of the water with a brave running his hands over her. The water seemed suffused with heat, and Lou could feel the blood rise in her face clear to the roots of her hair. Raven Wing, Curly, and Jimmy stood, as if frozen and stared. That the water covered her now didn't matter. She was in agony.

"Oh," Raven Wing muttered suddenly, understanding, "Poor Lou! We are making her very uncomfortable. My husband and I will wait for you up the trail!"

They turned around and walked to the edge of the trail to give Lou privacy.

Jimmy watched Lou in the water a second longer, and then seemed to shake himself out of his daze. Flushing, he turned around. "All right, Lou. Come on out."

On shaking legs, Lou exited the water, used the blanket Raven Wing had brought to dry off and dressed as fast as humanly possible. The buckskin dress was soft was butter on her skin and warm enough to stop her teeth chattering.

"You all right Lou?" Jimmy wondered, not daring to turn around.

"I'm okay," She said a bit shakily. She was no longer blushing and had turned alarmingly pale as the aftershocks of what just happened rocked her. "I'm decent, but can you help me with these? My fingers are shaking too much to get them tied."

Jimmy turned around, and first searched her face for signs of harm or distress. When she met his gaze steadily, he let himself look at her in the buckskin dress. The neck opening was wide and showed her pretty throat and shoulders, hinting at the rise of her breasts. Her legs, bruised and scraped from the flight from the braves, were bared. It was about as much of Lou as he'd ever seen and he was having a hard time remembering what exactly she'd asked him to do for her.

"Jimmy?" She reminded him, having to hold the dress on her shoulders. Shaking himself and smiling dumbly, he went to tie the strings at her shoulders to keep the dress up, not missing her shiver when his fingers brushed her skin. His own hands were not completely steady. He wasn't sure if it was from the encounter with the braves, or seeing her like this. A jolt had gone straight through him when he touched her skin, and he realized their close quarters were going to be challenging for him on several levels.

They walked elbow to elbow to where Raven Wing and Curly waited for them on the trail back to the village.

"What did they want with me, Raven Wing?" Lou wondered, her voice steadier than it should have been. She hadn't sensed that the braves had really wanted to hurt her, but they had seemed to enjoy the hell out of her fear, and that was almost as bad in her mind.

"Dark Wolf was being cruel. He has meanness in him, and likes to scare people. And he hates Curly. Knowing that Curly knows both of you and is the reason you are being given more freedom than is customary will make it hard on you with him. And he is who tracked you the night you were caught. If you had not known Curly, and the council voted, he would have been within his rights to take Lou. As his captive or wife."

Lou closed her eyes, sickness washing over her, not daring to ask what would have happened to Jimmy in that scenario.

"Why does he hate Curly?" Jimmy wondered.

"Because I married Raven Wing," Curly answered. "She was promised to Dark Wolf. I saved the chief's life one night when I came across him, not long after I parted ways with you. His band had been attacked by the Blackfoot. There were only three Sioux left, and I helped Running Horse fight off the last of them. Running Horse insisted I come back here to his village until I could rejoin my own tribe. I met Raven Wing, and though she was promised, we both fell very much in love. Dark Wolf was furious, but Running Horse loves his daughter too much to deny her happiness. Now Dark Wolf says I owe him a wife. He thinks that he is entitled to you, Lou."

"Well I hope you cleared that right up," Lou murmured sarcastically.

The cynicism was lost on Curly, "I cannot say that he won't try again. Just beware."

"I thought you said he wouldn't have hurt her, just scared her," Jimmy growled.

"Rape is not our way. But he is very angry, at me and at Running Bear. And insulted by you, James."

Jimmy nodded, understanding. Dark Wolf wanted Lou to settle an old score that had hurt his pride, and he had compounded it by challenging the man with his gun.

Raven Wing helped Lou with the last ties at the waist of the dress. While she was distracted, Curly touched Jimmy's arm and said in a voice so low that only Jimmy could hear, "Dark Wolf is a hard man. Cruel. Watch your back with him. And watch Lou. He would use her to hurt your pride."

Wordlessly, Jimmy nodded. Satisfied his warning had been heard, Curly took Raven Wing's arm and led her the rest of the way to the village.

Just before breaking into the clearing, Jimmy paused a moment, and gently placed his hand on Lou's chin, turning her head and making her look him in the eye.

"Are you really alright?" He asked gently.

His gentleness almost undid her, but she clenched her jaw and nodded. Jimmy was worried about how pale she looked. However, he sensed that if he kept up with his inquiries she would lose her control and burst into tears. And he knew she didn't want to do that.

So instead he slid his hand to cradle her cheek a minute and smile softly at her. Then he set his arm around her shoulders protectively, and they followed Curly and Raven Wing to their new home. They spent the rest of the day making their borrowed home ready.

Nightfall was unavoidable, and soon it was time to retire to the small space where they would live together. Lou curled up against one side of the lodge, and Jimmy took the hint and lay down on the other. Her back was to him and she was almost lost in the folds of the thick blanket Raven Wing had given her.

Jimmy couldn't remember ever feeling less at ease with her. They'd lived together, worked together, camped together before. But this was decidedly different. Buck or Cody or Kid was not going to come through the door and interrupt them.

After a while, he found the courage to ask her what he was thinking, "Lou, you don't think I'm gonna try nothing do you? You ain't worried all this talk about you being my woman's gone to my head, right?"

The question surprised her so much that Lou couldn't help but chuckle. The thought of Jimmy doing anything inappropriate or unwelcome was crazy. She turned over and looked at him, "I know you better than that."

 _But, I don't know myself that well,_ she thought quietly.

Jimmy, his mind at ease, turned to go to sleep, but before he drifted off he murmured softly, "We're gonna be alright, Lou. You know that, right?"

"Sure," she murmured, and turned away again.

However, at one point during the night he woke up. In the dim light from the fire outside, he could make out Lou, still curled in a ball with her back to him.

Her shoulders shook as she sobbed, and he knew she was thinking of the Kid.

He raised up to comfort her, but realized he was out of words. Though it hurt him, he closed his eyes and pretended not to hear her heart breaking as he eased back down on his bedroll. Time and time again he had tried to tell her that everything would work out the way it was supposed to with Kid, but now she faced the possibility of a long separation on the heels of her witnessing how quickly he'd fallen for another woman.

Angry as he was at his friend, he took a moment to worry for Kid too. He'd think Lou was enslaved or worse, dead. He'd think both of them were. His guilt would know no bounds. Grief made people do crazy things, and he had some appreciation for what Kid might do when he thought he'd driven Lou to death or captivity. He prayed the others would keep Kid from putting a bullet in his head.

Of course, they'd all be crazy with grief too, Jimmy knew. They had known all along that there was a chance of losing one of them, because the work they did was dangerous and so was the land. But Lou-Lou was the heart of their family. They'd all gone to lengths to protect her at one time or another, whether she realized it or not. They would never have allowed themselves to believe something could happen to her, out of all of them. All of them were in love with her a little. Her disappearance would level them. And Teaspoon...Jimmy couldn't imagine the depth of the man's suffering.

Jesus, they'd all lose their minds when they discovered both he and Lou had just disappeared, Jimmy realized.

Jimmy was up for quite a while, his mind racing, trying to think of some way to let them know they were still alive. He couldn't think of anything he and Lou could do. He didn't know for certain where _here_ even was after their mad flight off the trail. When he finally rolled over to sleep, Lou was finally resting peacefully too.

"We'll all be all right," He said aloud again.

He just wished he believed it.

* * *

"I'm goin'."

The words startled the table into silence and forks paused in mid-air. It was the first time the Kid had really said anything in two days.

All the riders' eyes turned expectantly to Teaspoon. When Cody, Buck, Noah, and Ike had announced it was time to go look for Jimmy and Lou two days ago, he had exploded.

Rachel, from her spot at the end of the table said firmly, "You can discuss this after dinner. I'm not having another war at my table."

"Ain't nothing to discuss. I'm going," Kid repeated.

"The hell you are! I won't have you out roaming the countryside, chasing something you ain't gonna find!" Teaspoon said, his grief over the failure of Jimmy and Lou to return showing in haggard lines on his face. They all looked like that.

"Watch me!" Kid snapped and pushed himself up.

"Kid!" Teaspoon stood up also, following him out on the porch. Kid kept walking toward the barn. Finally Teaspoon voiced the cold hard fact that no one had dared to put into words, "You are just going to have to accept that they are gone!"

Kid stopped cold, and from inside the bunkhouse, the riders looked toward the open door in shock. Having it put into words slammed the reality home like a knife in their hearts.

Teaspoon saw Kid's hand come to cover his chest, as if there was physical pain there.

Kid turned around slowly, his head bowed.

"I'm sorry son," He said softly, "If they ain't back by now…alive or dead, we ain't gonna find 'em."

Kid was already shaking his head, "No," he whispered, then his voice came out more sharply, "No!" Suddenly he was yelling, "No! Damn it! No! They ain't gone!"

"Don't make this any harder on yourself than it has to be," Teaspoon began.

"No!" Kid insisted again, "If she was dead, I'd know it! I know she's alive, Teaspoon!"

"Son, even if she is, which I doubt, she's far away from here, you can bet," Teaspoon explained.

"That's because I drove her there!" Kid choked out, tears coursing down his cheeks. He turned from Teaspoon and continued walking to the barn.

"Where are you going Kid?" Teaspoon wondered, afraid of the answer.

"To bring her back," He answered simply.

Teaspoon sighed, and though it killed him, let Kid walk on. He heard footsteps behind him, and turned to find Ike, Noah, Buck, and Cody filing out of the bunkhouse.

Their faces were solemn, their jaws set. He knew what they would say.

"We gotta go, Teaspoon," Noah said, the unofficial spokesman, "Kid's right. Maybe they are dead, but what if they are out there alive, somewhere?"

"Somewhere is a mighty big place," Rachel said, coming out of the bunkhouse behind them.

Teaspoon nodded in agreement. Then he sighed and made his decision, "Yes it is. So, we'd better get started."

"Teaspoon…" Rachel began, while the others looked at him in amazement.

"Darlin', I want you to go to Sweetwater and stay there until we get back. The Sioux aren't acting up right now, but who knows how long that will last."

"But what about the mail?" Rachel said, protesting mildly, "And there is so much to be done…the horses have to be fed…"

"Tell Barnett what happened. He'll get someone to feed the livestock," Teaspoon said quickly, and went to embrace her, "And the riders from Blue Creek can pick up the runs, or not. It doesn't matter to any of us right now."

Rachel sighed, knowing she should be the voice of reason, but not having the heart. She loved Jimmy and especially Lou, and she wanted them home. Tears filled her eyes, "Dear Lord, I hope you bring them home!"

"We will," Cody promised, and stepped up to hug her tightly, "Don't you worry none about that!"

Teaspoon nodded, "Let's go."

They walked side by side to the barn. Kid looked at them over Katy, tightening his saddle."What are yall doing?"

"What do you think?" Buck smiled slightly.

"You gotta have someone along who knows what he's doing," Cody said with an arrogant smirk.

"Which is why I'm going," Noah commented.

"No, that's why _I'm_ going," Teaspoon said, and Kid looked at him in surprise.

Teaspoon explained sheepishly, "I learned to trust your hunches a long time ago, Kid."

Soon they were astride their horses, and Rachel stood at the head of a horse hitched to a buckboard.

"Ride safe, boys," She said softly, "And you Teaspoon."

"You too, Rachel. We'll be back, don't you worry none about that," Teaspoon murmured. But as he met her eyes Rachel saw the doubt in them.

They'd be back with Jimmy and Lou, a definite answer to what had happened to them, or not at all, Rachel realized.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Thin Air

It was very early the next morning when the boys rode up to first relay station on the run to Johnson's Station. The relay master came out to greet them with a rifle, looking fierce.

"Sorry Teaspoon," Tom Harris said in apology, lowering the gun, "You can't be too careful with the Indian trouble…" His voice broke off as he realized that two of Teaspoon's riders had likely fallen prey to the Indian trouble he spoke of. "Sorry," He mumbled again.

Buck's sharp eyes had already scouted the station. "Jimmy and Lou's horses are in that corral."

The others looked to find the black horse and the palomino. They looked stricken, but Teaspoon tried to look positive despite the gnawing worry. "Well, we know they both made it at least this far."

Tom nodded, "Yeah, Lou came through here like there was a prairie fire on his tail. I tried to warn him of the trouble, but he wouldn't listen, said he had to make the next station by sunset. And then when Hickok came through here and found that Lou had ridden on, I couldn't keep him back either. Fools, both of them. Ain't seen them since..."

Teaspoon shook his head, "No, they ain't fools, but they sure are acting like it…or were acting like it," He said sadly. Then he turned back to Tom, "Can you keep those two horses for a while longer?"

Tom nodded, "Yeah, I'll keep 'em here, and won't let nobody else ride 'em. Least I can do."

Teaspoon tipped his hat in thanks, and motioned to the boys, "Come on, boys, don't look so down and out. They could be sitting at Johnson's Station with their boots propped up."

The others looked doubtful. Jimmy and Lou would have tried to make it home long before now if they had been able to.

But they dared to hope Teaspoon was right as they rode for the station. Much like the scene at the relay station Joe greeted them from behind a shotgun barrel.

"Joe, are Lou and Jimmy here?"

He scratched his head, trying to figure out a way to break the news to him.

"The horse we sent Lou out on came back without him about the time Hickock showed up. Horse looked like it'd been through hell and back. Jimmy set out to track him that night. Damn fool shoulda waited till mornin'. I ain't seen no sign of 'em since, Teaspoon. I'm awful sorry."

Wordlessly Kid wheeled Katy and galloped away as fast as she could carry him. He stopped Katy about a mile from the station and leapt off of her. He walked on unsteady knees for a few feet, then collapsed on his knees.

The others rode up in time to hear him scream her name, piercing the quiet Western twilight.

" _LOU!_ "

Cody reached him first, crouching down beside him and putting an arm around his shoulders.

Kid pulled away as if he'd been burned, and getting up, started blindly stumbling away.

It wasn't long before his legs gave out again, and he fell back to his knees. He doubled over and his whole body heaved as he sobbed, and he was sure the despair was going to rob him of his sanity. He wished for it, wished for oblivion he didn't deserve.

And all he said, even as Cody and Noah gently picked him up under the arms and carried him back to the horses, was her name over and over.

* * *

"No Lou, not like that!" Raven Wing corrected her gently, laughing at her efforts to learn to weave.

"Damn it!" Lou swore softly, pricking herself with the bone needle. She sucked her finger and sighed, looking at her only woman friend in the camp, "I'm afraid I've never been very domestic."

"Jimmy does not seem to mind. He's only complained once about your cooking!" Raven Wing laughed again.

"That's cause I told him he could do the cookin' if he thought he could do better," Lou muttered, holding back a grin.

Raven Wing leaned into her shoulder and placed an arm around her, squeezing her in a hug and laughed, "I am glad to have you here!"

Lou let her smile break through, despite herself. If Raven Wing was to be her warden, Lou thought she should probably feel more resentful towards the woman. Raven Wing was a happy, vibrant soul, and it was impossible to mope for too long around her.

She and Jimmy had now been with the Sioux for a little over two weeks. Lou had slowly grown used to the idea, and no longer cried herself to sleep every night. She avoided thinking about Kid at all, and instead turned her efforts to learning to do her chores. Jimmy often was invited to ride with the hunting party, and his skill with a gun had made him quite popular. She hoped the relationships he was making might aid their efforts of getting home.

An involuntary smile lifted her cheeks as she thought of Jimmy. Every time he returned from a ride with the braves, Lou felt her heart skip with happiness to see him. She had pride in him and how well he sat the appaloosa horse Curly had found for him to use. He rode as well as any of the braves, and had brought home meat for the tribe, and her own supper, on every outing. At night, over whatever concoction Lou had tried to make edible, they talked and laughed about what each had learned that day. They were absurdly out of place with the Indians, and they knew it. But curiously, she was not unhappy these last days.

As she thought about him, she heard hoof beats. She looked up to see Jimmy pull his horse up near their teepee, and her heart lifted when she saw his head swivel about, always seeking the sight of her. He always found her first thing when he returned and the other young women who often sat with she and Raven Wing would smile and natter in their language with sly, knowing eyes. They envied Lou, Raven Wing had told her, for the affection they saw shining in the handsome stranger's eyes for her.

"I'm over here!" She called out, and he grinned at her and trotted the horse over.

"Come on," He told her, extending his hand to her and removing his foot from the stirrup of the primitive Indian saddle.

When Lou's eyes brimmed with hope and she leapt to her feet, he knew he'd made a mistake. She thought they were going home, and for the first time in a few days, he remembered where her heart still was.

"Thought you'd better ride a little so you don't fall off your horse when we go home," He said with an apologetic smile.

Lou looked away quickly to hide her disappointment, then blinked and smiled bravely at him, "If I was off a horse for fifty years, I could still out ride you!"

"Prove it?" Jimmy asked with raised eyebrow.

"Yep."

Jimmy laughed. Then he leaned down and swooped her up, holding her sideways on the saddle in front of him. She squealed in surprise and then delight as he kicked the horse into a gallop, and they rode into the meadow adjoining the village. Jimmy was careful not to ride too far, not to abuse the liberties they had been given, not to step one toe out of the lines they had drawn. The thought of escape had not abandoned him, but he knew they were only going to get once chance. The more freedom they had, the better their chances of success.

Correctly sensing Lou's recklessness and determination to get home, the chief had not given her a horse. He knew it chafed at her, being left to women's work. For the moment, she seemed content enough, and the last few days she had not cried for Kid during the night.

"Hey! Give that back!" Jimmy cried as Lou seized his black hat and jumped off the horse.

She laughed at him and placed the hat on her own head. It fell over her eyes. She tilted her head back to study him. Her eyes could still barely be seen.

"Looks better on me!" She laughed, then grew serious and held it out to him, "Here you go."

But when Jimmy reached down to take it back, Lou giggled wildly and snatched it away from him, taking off across the grass on foot.

Laughing, Jimmy got off the horse and chased her. Finally he stopped, winded. She paused, not far from him, her eyes sparkling. She held out the hat.

"Keep it!" He wheezed and collapsed flat on his back in the thick grass.

In a moment she came to sit beside him, tossing the hat on his chest. She eased back on one elbow, half-reclining and watched him. Jimmy's square jaw was set, but a grin eventually turned up the corners of his mouth.

Jimmy's eyes were closed, but he could feel her intense stare on him. "What?" He demanded with feigned impatience.

"Just wondering what you are thinking about," Lou said quietly.

He opened one eye to squint at her. Her hair was tousled, and her cheeks flushed. Her eyes were brighter than he'd seen them since she and Kid had broken it off. For the first time in a long time, she looked completely happy. Impulsively he reached out to touch a lock of her hair.

Jimmy shrugged, "Actually I was thinking about a lot of things. Mainly that it's nice that no one here knows about who I am."

"You mean Wild Bill?" Lou wondered.

"Yeah."

"That's not who you are Jimmy," She spoke with conviction, "You know that don't you?"

Jimmy opened both his eyes to look at her. She had leaned close to him and put a hand on his arm. Her eyes were beautiful, almost golden in the light, and Jimmy felt the same lurch deep in his gut that sometimes accompanied him looking at her. It was akin to pain.

"Aw, Lou, I made some bad choices. I ain't sayin' I deserve what happened with Marcus, but I ain't completely innocent."

"Jimmy, you never hurt anyone on purpose! You never had a choice," Lou said softly, taking her hand away, and laying her head down on her arm.

"There's always a choice Lou," Jimmy argued.

Lou shook her head, "You can sit there and tell me all day that you are like they all want you to be, but I know you, Jimmy! And I like the man I know. I ain't gonna argue with you. Sides, like you said, it doesn't matter now. Not here."

That was one of the things that worried Jimmy the most. He kept people he cared for at an arm's distance, always aware that his reputation could make those he loved vulnerable. That had never been more clear than the moment he'd seen Lou with a noose around her neck outside of Willow Springs. Her only crime for almost being killed had been walking arm and arm with him down the streets of a dusty town where he thought he knew no one. Here, the freedom from his ghosts made him think crazy thoughts, like maybe he could be the man she needed.

Thunder rumbled in the distance and both Lou and Jimmy sat up. Dark clouds were rolling in fast. They looked a violent purple against the mountains. A streak of lightning escaped one far off.

"Might be another bad one," Lou said softly, and shivered slightly as she remembered the storm the night she'd been thrown.

"We should get back. It's gonna hit soon," Jimmy commented and stood up. He reached for Lou's hand, and she gave it to him. He pulled her up.

His eyes caught a movement in the circle of trees surrounding the meadow. This particular shadow was becoming a nuisance.

"Dark Wolf," He muttered, and reached to grab Lou's arms, preventing her from turning around, "Spying on us again!"

"What does he think he'll see?" Lou wondered angrily.

"Nothing. Curly told me that he has been putting the idea in everyone's head that you aren't really 'my woman'. I guess he expects to prove it."

"We can't let that happen," Lou said softly, and met his eyes evenly, a smile playing at her mouth. She tilted her chin ever so slightly in his direction, brought a hand up to sweep a lock of hair behind his ear. "What do we do, Jimmy Hickock?"

Jimmy smiled, reading her signals and his heart lurched, "I guess we do this…"

Jimmy leaned down to kiss her. Lou had thought Jimmy might kiss her playfully, flirting with her as she had with him. She'd been wrong. He simply claimed her with the kiss, and it branded every corner of her. He demanded, and defenseless against what she was feeling, she gave. Lou forgot all about Dark Wolf, the coming storm, and the whole Sioux nation.

There was something raw and dangerous and desperate in the kiss, and Lou knew without a doubt that Jimmy wanted her, and the knowledge set her aflame. She wanted him too, she realized. In a raw way that she had never experienced before.

When she recognized what she was feeling, Lou pulled away first, and touched her flaming cheeks. Unable to find any words, she looked at him with a terrified expression.

"I know Lou," He answered back, slowly removing his arms from around her. "I'm sorry."

"What do we do?" She whispered, her heart and mind in turmoil.

"Nothing," Jimmy said quickly, "We don't do nothing, damn it!"

But, he realized, it was too late for that.

* * *

Lou told herself over and over it had been a show, a way to throw Dark Wolf off their trail. But Jimmy's kiss had been more than that, she knew, and she didn't feel sorry.

Jimmy felt the lead weight of guilt settle over him. Guilt because he'd thought about kissing her long before Dark Wolf had come along, guilt because he was here with her and Kid wasn't, guilt because he knew that she still pined for Kid and was at her most vulnerable. But most of all guilt because he'd knowingly thrown all that to the winds just to kiss her once. And that had taken him to a place he wasn't sure he could find his way back from.

Lou quietly went about preparing for dinner, while Jimmy went to the creek to fetch some water.

They avoided the other's eyes for most of the silent meal when finally Lou set down her small clay bowl and sighed.

"This isn't going to work. We gotta talk about it, Jimmy."

"I know, I was thinking the same thing," Jimmy agreed, "I'm sorry Lou, I shouldn't have done that. I just thought it would end Dark Wolf's prying once and for all. I guess I got a little carried away."

"Me too." Lou said, looking away and blushing. "Jimmy, you may be sorry, but I ain't."

"I ain't sorry, Lou. Damn me to hell, I ain't."

They met the others eyes, wondering if they should delve further into the issue, if they should bring up the fact that Dark Wolf had little to do with the intensity of their connection and what they both recognized as the heat between them.

Then, mutually, and wordlessly, they agreed to table the discussion, neither believing it was put to bed for good. Thunder shook the earth.

"Sounds like a bad storm," Jimmy pointed out, changing the subject.

Once again they were at ease with each other. It was living with themselves that was going to be the problem.

The storm outside grew worse, and the rains came down. Jimmy watched the entrance to the teepee for water, but amazingly, none found its way in.

"Told you I could build a good teepee," He pointed out.

Lou rolled her eyes and wrapped her blanket around her more tightly, "Sounds like there is a lot of activity outside."

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than did Curly stick his light brown head in the flap. Lou screamed and jumped back, and Jimmy dove for his gun.

"Curly, ain't you never heard of announcing yourself?" Jimmy demanded, putting his gun back.

"I am here," He announced, agreeably.

"What do you want?" Jimmy asked, grinning at his friend.

"Thought you might like to know that if you do not tie down this tee pee, it will blow away, with you inside," He said calmly.

"Lou stay here, I'll go do it. Then I'm going to go see if anyone else needs help."

"You don't want me to go?" She asked, though in reality she preferred to stay. Storms weren't at the top of her list of favorite things at the moment, having almost been struck by Lightning the night all this had begun.

"No, stay in here. I'll be back," He promised.

"Careful, Jimmy," She said softly.

Jimmy found that the storm was much worse than he thought. The creek was rising quickly, though Curly assured him it would not get as high as their lodgings. After he and Curly helped each other tie their homes down, they set off to help other members of the tribe do the same.

Lou jumped as thunder crashed overhead again. She stood up in the teepee and moved about uneasily, tiding up what little they had, Jimmy's saddle, saddle bags, and bedroll, and the blanket and clay pots Raven Wing had found them.

They wouldn't have had half that if the Indians hadn't found Jimmy's horse the night they were caught; the horse was lame, and Jimmy spent time every day tending to the animal that had run so gamely to try and save their lives. She smiled and shook her head. Jimmy Hickock, feared gunfighter, paying his debt of honor to a horse that wasn't even his.

Suddenly a sound outside caused her to jump, the sound of a twig snapping. Someone was close by.

"Raven Wing, that you?" Lou called softly, wrapping her arms around herself.

There was no answer. Lou tried to tell herself she was hearing things, but the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Unable to just sit and wait any longer, Lou pulled back the flap and stepped outside into the pouring rain.

She looked around and saw nothing in the blackness. Still she felt something or someone near by, watching her. She strained her eyes to no avail, and then sighing, turned to go back into the teepee.

But as she turned around, lightning flashed and she gasped. Dark Wolf stood, perfectly motionless, not three feet from her. The brilliance of the lightning left her eyes burning, and she could not longer see anything but red blotches in her field of vision where he had stood.

They both sprang into action at the same time. Lou screamed and headed for Raven Wing's teepee. She could hear Dark Wolf's moccasins slipping in the mud behind her. He laughed wildly at her, hurling taunting insults in Lakota.

Lou didn't announce herself but flung herself though the opening, into the sanctuary Raven Wing would provide for her.

Much too late, she realized that Raven Wing was not inside. She spun around to flee, but Dark Wolf stood motionless in the opening, watching her calmly. His eyes were a terrible black, and the lines on his striking face were hard and unyielding.

Lou pulled herself up to her inadequate height and stared at him defiantly.

"Leave!" She growled, though she knew he didn't speak English.

He was as still as a statue. Not one muscle twitched, not one eye blinked.

Thunder roared overhead. Lou jumped in fear and Dark Wolf laughed at her.

Lou knew she must get out of the teepee. She also knew the only way out was through the tall man in front of her.

Without a sound to warn him, she suddenly charged at him, but she might have been charging a brick wall. He did not move at all. On the other hand, she bounced off him hard and landed uncomfortably near the fire, almost scorching the inside of one of her arms.

She yelped, and rolled away.

Then she glanced up and saw that he had pulled out his knife and was slowly advancing toward her.

Lou's fingers curled around a heavy wooden bowl and she flung it straight for his head. When he put his hands up to defend his face, he dropped the knife and Lou dove for it. Dark Wolf was instantly on top of her. They struggled for it briefly, but Dark Wolf was stronger than two men and soon ripped it from her hand.

Lou found herself in a much worse predicament than before. Now she was pinned under his greater weight and he held a knife to her scalp. Lou thought that he wouldn't kill her, even thought it unlikely he would really hurt her as she was under the protection of his chief. But looking in his eyes, she thought him capable of anything.

With a burst of strength, she shifted her weight hard, and to her surprise Dark Wolf was caught off guard. He rolled off her.

And into the fire in the middle of the teepee.

If Lou lived to be two hundred years old, she would never forget the screams that escaped him, nor the smell of his burning flesh.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: The Protection of His Name

"Kid, we've been looking for days. We just ain't going to find them!" Teaspoon said gently as he crouched beside Kid, who was staring intently into the campfire, "I been married to an Indian woman, I know how they live!"

"The army could find them!" Kid said viciously, and Teaspoon turned quickly to see if Buck had heard that. Kid was out of his head with grief, and Teaspoon had little doubt he'd bring about a massacre of innocent women and children to end it. The others had all slowly come to terms with the fact that they could not find Jimmy and Lou, and even if they did they were no match for a whole Sioux camp. Except Kid. He was still adamant that they keep looking.

"They didn't just vanish," Kid spat out, "Not even the amazing Wild Bill Hickok can do that!"

The others heard him that time. Cody stood up angrily. "Damn it, Kid! He's missing too! Don't you even care if he comes back at all? Hell, he may have already died, they might have tortured him. We don't know!"

Kid rose to his feet too, stopping only inches in front of Cody. Teaspoon sighed, but did not come between them, hoping they both had the sense not to turn on each other. He was too heartsick to get involved. A week of riding and they'd found Lou's hat, far off the trail, and the remnants of a campsite where they thought Jimmy and Lou had spent some time together at some point. The recent storms had washed away tracks of where they'd gone after that, and the trail had gone cold.

Buck, angry now too, stood up also, "If I were you I'd be spending a lot less time being bitter that Jimmy went after her and more time praying to your God that he might still be with her, watching out for her!"

Kid turned on Buck next, "And don't you go offering advice I didn't ask for!" He pointed a finger at Buck, who angrily swatted it away.

"Kid, you gonna fight all of us? The whole world?" Noah asked.

Kid thought about it a minute and looked at them with more lucid eyes than they'd seen from him in a week, "I'll fight whoever I have to, just as long as I can bring her back."

He turned his back on them and grabbed his saddle.

"Where do you think you're going son?" Teaspoon wondered.

"Where ever I have to!" Kid shot back.

"I can't let you go Kid. If Jimmy and Lou are alive, and I'm sure they are," He added quickly, "Then they'll have to get home their own way. You can't save them, son."

Kid acted as if Teaspoon hadn't spoken and went about saddling up his horse.

"Kid, I ain't kidding with you. If you ride out of here, you're fired."

"I quit," Kid said simply and finished tugging on his saddle.

The other boys looked at Teaspoon in their best you're-gonna-let-him-get-away-with-that? look but Teaspoon didn't make a move to stop Kid as he swung up in the saddle and rode away from them.

"Don't do this!" Noah called out.

"Kid, just wait!" Cody yelled.

Kid never looked back.

Once he was out of sight, the boys turned on Teaspoon with incredulous eyes.

"He'll get himself killed!" Ike signed.

"Well, Ike, that's a risk he's more than willing to take. I couldn't tie him down!"

"Why not?" Cody mumbled softly.

"The way I see it, you boys have a decision to make. You know as well as I do how dangerous it is to keep going, and you know very well we may never find Lou or Jimmy. You gotta know the smart thing to do is turn around and ride home, and leave it in God's hands."

The riders all met eyes uncomfortably, then looked at the ground. They shifted nervously for a minute before Cody spoke.

"Well, it ain't like we've ever been real big on doing the smart thing."

* * *

Jimmy walked beside Curly and Raven Wing, laughing with them. They all looked like drowned rats. The rain still poured in sheets, but the lightning had mostly quit and the wind had died down.

"I think Lou was wisest to stay inside!" Curly pointed out, wiping his long hair from his face.

"I think I'll shove her out in the rain for a while, just so she won't feel left out!" Jimmy commented, and glanced up toward their lodge.

He stopped abruptly, a warning that had saved his life more than once flaring in his gut. Curly and Raven Wing stopped also.

"What is it?" Raven Wing wondered, her smile still in place.

But seeing the look on Jimmy's face from the light of a close-by, struggling fire, her smile disappeared.

"Somethin's wrong," Jimmy murmured.

Lou burst out of Curly's teepee, then, seconds later another figure emerged, engulfed in flames. Lou ran straight toward them, the other figure threw himself on the wet ground and thrashed about wildly.

Jimmy could hear her sobbing in great hitching gasps long before she saw them, and he ran toward her.

"Lou I'm here!" He called to her and opened his arms. She rocketed into them.

"Help him!" she pleaded with Curly, but there was no need.

He was already running toward the figure rolling on the ground.

"Our home!" Raven Wing cried next, and Lou and Jimmy both swung around to see that the flap of the teepee had caught on fire when they exited.

There was no time for explanations, though Jimmy was crazy with worry, as all three of them charged up the hill after Curly. Jimmy grabbed the rug that Lou had worked so hard on weaving. The flames were licking high up the structure, and he beat at them. Searing pain went through his lower arm as a flame jumped out at him, but he didn't stop his efforts.

Raven Wing found herself useless without anything to beat the fire out, and stood by helplessly as Jimmy tried to save the teepee and as Curly crouched beside Dark Wolf.

She spotted Lou standing in the rain shivering a few feet away and quickly walked to her, wrapping her arms around the younger girl's shoulders.

"I'm so sorry!" Lou cried out, "This is all my fault!"

"Quiet now," Raven Wing soothed her, "All will be well. Look, Jimmy's almost got it out! There, now it is all over!"

"But Dark Wolf is hurt so badly!" She whispered.

Raven Wing glanced over to where Curly was slowly rolling Dark Wolf onto his stomach. A large area of his shoulder blade charred badly. His hair had also caught on fire and now hung unevenly. Smoke still rose from his breeches on one leg, and Raven Wing imagined them burned to his skin.

"Dark Wolf brought this on himself, I'm certain!" Raven Wing assured her, but didn't push her for details. Better to wait and let her only have to tell the story once.

Soon, other members of the tribe were running over, having heard the commotion. The medicine man ordered two young braves to carry Dark Wolf away. After a short, tense conversation with Curly, the group disbanded, but several curious glances were thrown toward Lou, who stood miserably, head bowed in the rain.

Jimmy hurried to her once he was sure there was no more danger of the fire spreading. The rain had kept the damage to a minimum.

Raven Wing moved aside and let him take her into his arms. He held her so tightly that Raven Wing wondered if she could breathe. She didn't seem to mind though, and pushed her face into Jimmy's shirt.

"I ran away, I thought she would be inside…" Lou began, her voice muffled against his chest.

"Shhh! Let's get inside and warm, then you can tell us what happened!" Raven Wing said softly, and led her back to Lou's lodge.

Lou was as obedient as a child as Raven Wing helped her out of the soaking dress and into one of Jimmy's extra shirts. She then wrapped the blanket around Lou tightly and had her sit down.

Lou tried to pull the blanket around her more tightly, anything to stop her trembling. She suspected it had little to do with the cold.

Jimmy and Curly stepped in the closed space, each having to duck to get their considerable heights through the door.

Jimmy came to crouch in front of her, placing a hand on her cheek, "Are you all right? That's the first thing I want to know."

"I'm o-okay," She stuttered.

"What happened!" Raven Wing asked for all of them. They'd gone too long and seen too much to not be desperate for an explanation.

"I heard something outside, and I thought it was Raven Wing. So I went outside when no one answered me. Dark Wolf was there. He chased me. I thought I would be safe with Raven Wing, and I ran to your place but you were both gone."

"And you went inside and were trapped," Curly said, understanding.

Lou nodded, and tears began flowing out of her eyes. Jimmy wrapped his arm around her.

"And I tried to get away from him, but there was no way out," Lou said in a small voice.

A horrible, terrifying thought hit Jimmy, "He didn't…he didn't..." He couldn't muster the word, chose another, " _hurt_ you, did he?"

The fury on his face was terrible to behold, and Lou quickly told him, "No, he didn't hurt me! But he had his knife and was holding it over me, and I knocked it away, but he got it back. He was on top of me, and the only thing I could think of to do was to get him away from me! So I pushed him, and caught him off guard. He rolled into the fire. I ran away then. She put her face in her hands, "I didn't mean to burn him, though!"

"I would have!" Curly growled, "He knew this was wrong! He knew you were not his! He defies Running Horse!"

Lou moved closer to Jimmy in the face of Curly's anger, but Jimmy wasn't much calmer.

"Curly, I've had enough! If he ever comes near her again, I'm killing him! You won't be able to stop me and to Hell with the consequences. I mean it!" Jimmy's voice was climbing, "You said he wouldn't hurt her! He pulled a knife on her for no reason!"

Agitated, Curly held his hands out, "He has never gone against the word of Running Horse before!"

Raven Wing was the only one to notice how pale Lou had grown, "Stop it! You are upsetting both of us!" Jimmy and Curly looked at her in surprise.

"Now, Dark Wolf is badly hurt and will not bother Lou, at least not tonight. There is no need in talking about him now! We are all tired and it is time to rest!"

Curly and Jimmy both smiled slightly in admiration of the beautiful woman. She looked at them with angry eyes though, and placed her hands on her hips.

As if they were children she scolded them, "You should both be ashamed!"

"Will your teepee be all right? You could stay here," Lou suddenly said, not wanting to go to sleep for fear of nightmares of burning flesh.

"Jimmy saved it," Raven Wing smiled and they left as quietly as they always came.

"Get some sleep Lou, it will be much better in the morning," Jimmy said, after hugging her tightly. He leaned to kiss her forehead in an almost brotherly fashion.

"I don't think I can sleep," She said softly, admitting to him how shaken she still was. She leaned her forehead against Jimmy's. "I hate him, but I didn't want him hurt that badly. I can still smell his skin burning, Jimmy."

"He deserves much, much worse," Jimmy growled. Shaking off his fury, he looked into Lou's doubtful eyes. He saw the question in hers, but knew she was too proud to ever ask it aloud.

"You want me to stay by you?" He asked gently.

Lou looked horrified at his words, and Jimmy thought he'd read her eyes wrong. But he knew her well, and she finally caved in and whispered, "Would you?"

"Hmmm, would I lay beside a beautiful young woman tonight? That is a tough one." He said, and she blushed prettily.

He brought his bedroll to her side and eased down in it. Then, he reached an arm around her and pulled her close. She snuggled against him tightly, and Jimmy could feel her trembling, still.

"You're safe now, you know," He whispered, brushing her hair back, "Nothing is going though me to get you! I promise!"

He stroked her hair and was lost in deep thought as she fell asleep in his arms. He'd never have the chance to be with her like this again when they left the Sioux camp, he thought mildly. Kid would have realized how foolish he was to let her go, and Lou would know that they were meant to be together. Hell, he even knew they were meant to be together on some level, knew that outside of this place his reputation meant trouble for her.

That was what made falling deeper in love with her so dangerous. She was a force to be reckoned with on every level. A tiny woman who unarmed had bested a Sioux brave with a knife. He was certain there was not another woman who could compare to her in the world.

He wished never to go home.

* * *

Lou awoke shivering with cold and realized it was because the warm weight of Jimmy was gone from her side. It was so bizarre for her to contemplate that Jimmy had held her all night, had whispered soothing words to her when she cried out. She reached out to touch his empty bedroll, her mind and heart confused.

She got up slowly and pulled on her deerskin dress. She wandered slowly outside, guessing at where he could be.

The storm had given way to a beautiful, early fall morning, and the brisk air caused a violent shiver to run through Lou. She glanced up at Curly and Raven Wing's teepee and could see the large charred marks all up the front side of it. The grass in front of the teepee was black now too, after Dark Wolf's desperate attempts to relieve his pain.

Lou then looked to the creek and saw Jimmy sitting by the water, his back to her.

She slowly walked down to him

"Mind if I join you?" She wondered.

He jumped and spun around, caught off guard. He'd been deep in thought, Lou realized. He moved over on the log he sat on, and Lou eased herself down by him slowly.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Lou cleared her throat and said softly, "Jimmy, thank you for staying by me last night."

"It was a terrible sacrifice, you know," Jimmy said mournfully, teasing her, "Feel better this morning?"

Lou shrugged, "I guess…I just…" Her voice trailed off when she saw that Jimmy was holding his arm tenderly against his ribs, trying to hide something from her. "What's wrong with your arm, Jimmy?" She demanded.

Jimmy still kept it away from her, "It ain't nothing, Lou."

Lou wasn't satisfied with that though, and slowly moved to kneel in front of him. She gently took his hand and pulled his arm out. He tried not to flinch.

He heard her gasp and whisper, "Oh, Jimmy! Why didn't you say anything sooner!"

"It isn't as bad as it looks…" Jimmy began, but then flinched again as Lou leaned close to the nasty burn on the inside of his forearm.

"Stay here!" She ordered him, and ran back to the teepee. She returned with a piece of cloth.

Jimmy watched her as she tenderly took care of his burn, and felt that it might have been worth it just to have her care for him.

She finished cleaning it and covering it and then sat back beside him. He surprised her by reaching out to gently cradle her cheek for a minute. Then he let his hand drop quickly, as if he hadn't really meant to touch her.

"Do you think there will be any consequences for what I did to Dark Wolf?"

"I don't think so. He was the one who did something wrong."

She heard the doubt in his voice, though.

They sat in silence for a minute, each lost to his or her own thoughts. Then they heard someone behind them and turned around at the same time.

Running Horse stood on the rise, looking down at them in his proud manner. Curly appeared beside him. Raven Wing came quickly down the hill to stand before them. The look on her face told them it was not good news.

"My father wishes to speak to you," Raven Wing said solemnly.

"Is Dark Wolf dead?" Jimmy wondered tensely.

"No, he will be fine, except for ugly marks on him," Raven Wing said, "And he deserves them! But Dark Wolf has bent the ear of one of the members of the tribal council, and my father has questions."

"I thought your father was the Chief," Jimmy said.

"He is!" Raven Wing said defiantly, then sighed, "But he is an honorable man, and one of the tribe's other leaders has taken Dark Wolf's side in this matter. He says Dark Wolf is a warrior and he has been injured badly enough to prevent him from fighting for the tribe."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jimmy tense and pale.

"Let's just go, Jimmy," Lou suggested, and grabbed his hand.

Jimmy squeezed it reassuringly, and they followed Running Horse, Curly, and Raven Wing into the charred teepee. Everyone sat down. Lou glanced uneasily at the fire in the middle of the small space, and in her mind's eye replayed the horrible scene with Dark Wolf.

Running Horse did not waste any time, and got right to the point.

"You do not wear the yellow band of a white man and his wife," He accused them through Curly.

Jimmy glanced at Lou uneasily, then met the chief's eyes. He could not lie to him, and suspected it wouldn't have worked anyway, "We are not man and wife. But I give her my protection. She's still my woman!"

Running Horse shook his silver head after Curly translated. He stood up and spoke to Curly quickly. Raven Wing protested angrily to whatever he said, but Running Horse ignored her and exited the teepee.

"What is it?" Lou asked softly, a bad feeling rising in her.

Curly sighed while Raven Wing turned her back on them in frustration.

"He said that she is not your woman if you are not married, and therefore Dark Wolf has a right to claim her."

"What!" Jimmy exploded, "Well, what if I don't let him?"

"Then you must fight him," Curly said.

"All right," Jimmy agreed.

"You don't understand!" Raven Wing said softly, turning to look at Jimmy with her onyx eyes, "Dark Wolf is the most skilled fighter in the village. You will not win. And the fight is a fight to the death, he will kill you!"

Lou inhaled sharply, but Jimmy wasn't to be scared off that easily, "Don't be so sure! I can fight! And I'm not just going to sit back and let him take Lou!"

"You cannot fight like a Sioux fights. Braves train from the time they are children. You have never seen a fight such as this!" Curly said quietly.

"There has to be some other way!" Lou cried out, "Don't I have a say in this?"

"No," Raven Wing said shortly.

"Well, then, it is settled. I will fight him," Jimmy said.

Curly suddenly looked at his wife, "There may be another way!"

Raven Wing understood, and nodded quickly.

"What is it?" Lou asked hopefully.

"You must be married in the Sioux custom," Curly said.

Lou and Jimmy didn't look at each other but the news was enough to send them reeling. Lou felt as if her whole world closed off and all her options were gone. She'd worked so hard for those choices, only to have them stripped from her to prevent a life of servitude to a Sioux brave who wanted to hurt her for reasons she didn't understand?

Not a month ago she'd told the man she loved she wasn't ready for marriage, and now she was going to be pushed into being wed to a man she still wasn't sure how she felt about? Somehow she just couldn't appreciate the irony of it all.

But Jimmy, as good as he was with his guns, wasn't good in hand to hand combat. Kid had beaten him too many times to deny that. Dark Wolf would fight with ten times that skill.

Jimmy couldn't comprehend the magnitude of what was about to happen. While he had strong feelings for Lou, he knew that it was foolish for his heart to race so at the possibility of her becoming his wife.

He looked at her and she met his eyes. He said nothing. It was her call.

Finally she spoke, her voice controlled tightly, her eyes unreadable.

"The answer is very simple. We will have to be married."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Love or Something Like It

Lou's words hung on the air.

 _The answer is quite simple. We'll have to be married._

No one said anything for the longest time. They all stood staring at Lou, who looked as if she was in some sort of trance.

Suddenly she seemed to snap out of it. Her eyes roamed the room, and then wordlessly she got up and ran out of the teepee.

Raven Wing began to follow her, but Curly held her arm gently, "Better to let her be by herself right now, I think."

Jimmy nodded. He then bowed his head and massaged his temples with his thumb and index finger.

"You both act as if this is a bad thing!" Raven Wing exclaimed in confusion.

Jimmy looked at her and sighed, "Lou is not really my woman. She was….maybe still is, in love with someone else. Curly's blood brother, Kid."

"And Jimmy's friend," Curly explained, his eyes looked to Jimmy, "Will you go through with it?"

Jimmy shrugged, "Lou will insist I do. And even if she didn't, what else could we do? You are all so sure Dark Wolf will kill me, and then she will be his captive anyway. There is no way I can risk that happening."

Raven Wing shook her head vehemently, "But I don't understand! You must love each other! I have seen it so clearly in so many ways!"

"Her heart belongs to someone else. She doesn't love me," Jimmy protested weakly.

Raven Wing instantly noticed that he didn't deny loving her.

"I need to go find her. She's upset and may get into trouble," Jimmy said, and left them. But he didn't begin looking for Lou right away. He walked through the village slowly, patting the heads of children who ran up to hug his legs. The Sioux seemed fond of him already. The braves respected him, the children liked his funny clothes and hat, and the women were always curiously watching him.

Today though, he was too preoccupied to visit. How could he marry Lou? He loved Kid like a brother, even given the way things had been between them before they left. It would be the ultimate betrayal. It would destroy his friendship for Kid once and for all, no matter the circumstances.

But Lou was such a fixture in his life, so much more since they had come here. He'd come to fear what he felt for her. She was his friend too, and he'd always loved her dearly. But now, to force himself to say that he still felt only brotherly love to her would be a lie, and an insult to the depth of what she was to him.

He was going in circles, he soon realized, and decided to find Lou. They had to come to some sort of understanding, Jimmy thought. He had to know what she felt under the demeanor of nonchalance she had displayed earlier.

He found her where he thought he might, sitting in the meadow where they had shared their first kiss. Her knees were drawn up, her arms wrapped around them. Her chin rested on her knees and she had her back to him, staring up over the mountains.

"Lou?" He said softly, announcing himself to her.

She was still startled and flung herself around. Jimmy had expected to find her in floods of tears, but her eyes were curiously dry, her manner calm.

Jimmy slipped off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. He then sat down by her.

"This is an interesting turn of events," He said, trying to make his voice sound light.

She glanced at him to see if he was actually kidding at a time like this.

"Just trying to make you smile," Jimmy said.

She shrugged, "I know. You do that a lot, you know." She glanced at him sideways while he flushed at the compliment. Jimmy Hickock was so used to people saying bad things about him, he didn't know how to react when someone pointed out the good. It was one of the things she wished she could change about him, wished she could love him enough to make him love himself.

"Lou, you know I'll fight him if you will let me. I'm not so sure a marriage is a good idea, even if it is in the Sioux way."

"You can't fight him! Please don't say anything about that again. I'm not letting you get killed because of me!"

"Why is everyone so sure I'll be killed?" Jimmy wondered indignantly, "Am I that bad of a fighter?"

"Yes," Lou said with a slight smile. "'Less there's a colt at the end of your arm. You're a little slow with your fists, sometimes. Jimmy, I don't see a way around it...unless you just don't want to be hitched to me in any way."

Jimmy's breath left him in a laugh at that. "Lou...I ain't gonna ask what your feelings are for me, because I figure it ain't fair, this being the situation. But before you agree to do this, I need you to know that for me, Lou, I feel more for you than a friend ought to feel. I have for a longer time than I've been willing to admit. And so, no, tying myself to you doesn't trouble me because sometimes it feels that is about the only thing I want in this world."

Tears sprang to her eyes, she was moved by him. She rose to her knees, stopped in front of him. She could tell he was embarrassed to meet her eyes after the confession, but she needed him to see what his words had meant to her, had done to her. She said nothing, sliding her hands behind his neck and leaned to kiss him. It was a sweeter kiss than the first they'd shared, but it held every bit of the promise.

Breathless, with a laugh of wonder and a shake of her head, Lou broke it off, and leaned her forehead to Jimmy's.

"So we're gonna do this?" Jimmy wondered. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I guess so. When will the ceremony be?" Lou wondered.

"I don't know. In a few days, I'm sure. If not sooner. It could be tomorrow."

"Lou, there's something else we ain't talking about…" Jimmy murmured.

She sat back on her heels. "I know, Jimmy. What is there to say? Kid made himself clear."

"Lou, he didn't mean any of it. And if we do this, I know what that means for my friendship with Kid, and I'm willing to come to terms with it. But Lou, you gotta think of what it might mean for Kid and you when we go home."

"Well Kid ain't here, now is he?"

He knew it had to be a hell of a weight on her conscience and her heart, wondering about Kid. Knew that what she'd felt for Kid wasn't something to die easily. Hell, hadn't he, more than any of them, seen it killing her by inches for the last month or so?

"Lou, I know you don't love me, alright? I know you are just marrying me for protection, and I don't want you feeling no guilt about it. I needed you to know how I felt. I ain't got no expectations, all right?"

For reasons that escaped him, this made her furious and she stood up and flung his jacket back at him. It hit him square in the face. "I'm marrying you because I care so much about you that I don't know what to think, you idiot! I'm marrying you because the thought of you dying scares me more than anything in the world! Particularly you dyin' thinking you don't deserve to be loved."

She stood there, hands on her hips, eyes flashing and looked at him expectantly, like he was supposed to know what to say to that.

He had no idea how to respond to that angry confession of love or something like it.

Her eyes, which she had angrily dried, had been looking off somewhere over his right shoulder. As he watched her, they grew very wide and she dropped like a stone through water, knocking them flat to the ground. "Shhhhh!" She hissed putting her hand over his mouth when he would have demanded an explanation.

"What the hell, Lou?" Jimmy whispered anyway. She nodded her head toward the other end of the field.

Jimmy quickly followed her eyes and then flattened himself further in the knee high grass.

A small band of Indians skirted the far end of field. Jimmy and Lou had been shielded from view by a big oak tree, which was the only reason they were alive right now, Jimmy was certain. The new arrivals were obviously not of the Sioux tribe, for their hair was cut close to their head and stood up in mohawks. They were painted and armed for a fight, Jimmy realized, and heading toward the Sioux village.

"They are going up the trail to come around the village by the pond," Lou said softly.

"We have to warn them or it will be a bloodbath," Jimmy said then looked at Lou, "This may be your only chance to escape. Catch one of the horses and ride hard for home! Send help as soon as you get there!"

Lou was already shaking her head, "No! We decided a long time ago that we get out of this together or not at all."

Jimmy jumped to his feet, for the braves had passed out of sight. He pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her tightly, pressing his lips to her forehead, "You damn fool!" He accused her, but it sounded like a term of endearment to his own ears, "Come on! There isn't much time!"

He grabbed her hand and they began running as hard as they could to find Curly.

Jimmy found him and quickly informed him that a group of horsemen were circling the village. Curly leaned his head back and gave three piercing yells that bounced off the mountains, and the village sprang into activity.

 _If our army could mobilize this quickly and efficiently, we'd rule the world,_ Jimmy thought.

People erupted into action, knowing exactly what to do. Lou and Jimmy stuck close together. They took shelter behind a huge tree that had overturned in the storm and waited silently. Curly came to crouch beside them, rifle in hand.

"Thought real Indians fought with bows and arrows," Jimmy said dryly.

Curly cut his eyes at his friend, "I'm not a _real_ Indian, remember? I'm half white!"

"So you finally admit it!" Jimmy almost grinned.

Curly looked at Lou, "You shouldn't be here. You should be with the other women!"

"I can help!" She protested.

"No, you may not. It is not an honorable death for a woman to kill a brave. Especially a white woman."

"These Indians are attacking you! Do you think they deserve an honorable death?" Lou demanded incredulously.

"Every warrior deserves an honorable death," Curly said simply.

"All right, she won't fight. But she's staying with me!" Jimmy said sharply, and by the set of his jaw Curly knew it would be pointless to argue.

"Warning the village will save many lives. Running Horse will be pleased with you."

"Pleased enough to let us go?" Lou wondered.

Curly didn't answer. Instead, he murmured to himself, "It is a good day to die."

Lou and Jimmy exchanged a smile, remembering when Curly had said that before. Jimmy laughed softly. "I _still_ love this guy's attitude!"

That moment the enemy tribe charged into the village, expecting to find it unprepared. They were mortally mistaken.

"Paiutes!" Curly growled as he leveled his rifle. Jimmy readied his gun also. They fired first, and several Paiutes went down. The invaders quickly discovered they had ridden into a trap. The Sioux stood and closed in on them until they formed a tight circle around them.

"Good, they are surrendering," Jimmy said softly as they threw down their guns. Lou sighed with relief too. They both stayed behind the log, even as Curly went with the others to close in.

"What are they doing?" Lou suddenly asked as the Sioux raised their rifles and bows.

Knowing what was about to happen he reached for Lou and pulled her tightly against his chest, shielding her eyes within his arms. He found he couldn't look away as all of the Sioux warriors fired, killing the men. It was a horrible, bloody scene as the Paiutes slid off their horses, some of them dead instantly, some of them crying in pain. Then the Sioux raised their weapons again, to pick off the ones remaining.

Lou struggled against his hold, knowing she didn't want to see the scene, but also knowing she needed to. Jimmy attempted to hold her more tightly and whispered, "Don't look, Lou, don't!"

She had to though, was compelled to witness what was happening. She jumped as if she had been shot when the next round went off. Wordlessly, she turned her face back into Jimmy's shirt. The Sioux raised their guns for yet another round and Jimmy covered Lou's ear with one hand and pressed the other tightly against him.

"It's almost over," He told her.

It was the bloodiest massacre either of them had ever seen or would ever see again. Men that had surrendered were murdered right in front of their eyes. It was part of the cruel, harsh life of a warrior, Jimmy realized. There was no capture for them. It was kill or be killed.

When not one Paiute was alive, the Sioux all rushed into the circle of corpses and began slashing at their scalps. Jimmy's eyes instantly found Curly, cutting with the best of them. A wave of nausea washed over him.

"We need to get out of here," He murmured and set his arm around her, turning her away from the scene and leading her back to their home. His legs were unsteady. After he saw Lou to the entrance of the lodge, he suddenly turned and ran out. Lou heard him vomiting not far from the teepee. She laid on her blanket and curled into a tiny ball, wishing the image of the slaughter to leave her mind's eyes.

Jimmy slowly made his way down to the creek and kneeled beside it, thrusting his head into the cool water. He rinsed his mouth out and waited for the sickness to pass. He couldn't believe how violently the sight had affected him. He'd been with the Sioux only a short while, but he'd grown fond of many of them. Their way of life was simple and honest, but it was peaceful, or so he had thought. Today had reminded him that the Sioux were by no means tame, and that an element of barbarity remained in their culture.

He knew it wasn't fair to judge them on one act. He knew that war in the white man's world was every bit as gruesome and bloody. None of that knowledge really helped as the same word kept running through his mind… _Savages!_

He made his way back up to the teepee to check on Lou. She was curled up on the blanket, and stared at him as he entered.

"I'm sorry you saw that," He said simply.

She shrugged, "I just can't believe those people that were out there shooting helpless men are the same people that have taken care of us! It makes me afraid all over again, Jimmy!"

Jimmy knew what she felt, but attempted to explain, "It's their way of life. The Paiutes knew when they rode in here either they would win or they would die."

"Damn it, Jimmy, I want to go home!"

He wasn't sure why the words hurt him, because he knew they were not directed at him in the least. But the fact was that whatever they were here to each other, they probably would not be that in their own world. And it pained him more than he thought was reasonable to imagine not having her to himself. The reminder that while she had feelings for him, they were not as strong or deep-rooted as the ones she had for Kid, was like a knife to his chest.

"Lou-I'm-I'm gonna go out and see if there's something I should be doing. Why don't you stay here."

His voice had a slap of authority to it that usually would have set her hackles up, but she was bewildered by the underlying anger, wondering what she had done or said to give offense. He didn't look her in the eye as he left her there alone.

He was gone for hours. The sun was setting when she heard someone approaching the teepee. She was half-worried, half-angry at Jimmy's long absence and determined not to be too forgiving of it.

It wasn't Jimmy. Curly poked his head in the door and smiled at her.

Lou found it impossible not to smile back. Like his wife, Curly's vibrance was contagious.

"Where is Jimmy?" He wondered.

"I don't know," She said simply, "Why?"

"Never mind," He said, and Lou knew better than to push him for an explanation. He sighed and held open the flap, "Come on."

"Where to?" Lou wondered, but nonetheless crawled to her feet. She was tired of staring at the animal hide walls.

"There is a celebration tonight," Curly smiled.

Lou's eyes fell on the still damp scalp on his belt and she shuddered, knowing what the celebration was for.

"We do not celebrate their deaths, but our lives," Curly explained.

Lou nodded and followed him. Raven Wing joined them with a wide smile. She wore a beautifully beaded dress and her shiny dark hair was braided with a beaded headband.

Lou walked with her friends to the center of the village. She'd only ventured this far into the village a few times, but she liked the activity of it. It wasn't that different from Sweetwater.

A huge bonfire billowed in the center of the village. A large spread of food covered many blankets on the ground. Several braves danced rhythmically around the fire to the spirited beating of drums. Lou's eyes stayed fixed on the dancers. They moved with total freedom and grace. She smiled without realizing it at the beauty of the scene.

The celebration was quite enjoyable. The only dim spot in the evening was the absence of Jimmy. Raven Wing assured Lou she'd seen him brooding in the meadow, and Lou was relieved that at least he hadn't left the village or anything that drastic.

Curly broke into her dark thoughts of Jimmy suddenly. He grabbed her hand.

"Come with me!" He told her.

"What?" She wondered. Then as he began dragging her toward the bonfire, she dug her heels in the ground, protesting mightily, "No! I can't do that!"

She giggled hysterically as Curly slowly showed her some of the motions of the dance. She repeated them awkwardly, and they both laughed. He kept hold of her hand and dragged her around the fire with him when she would have dived into the shadows, horrified.

Jimmy approached the scene and leaned against a tree, folding his arms across his chest. He studied Lou carefully, smiling broadly despite himself as she laughed at her own attempts to learn the dance.

Then his smile slowly faded as he really looked at her.

Her hair was turned to copper in the firelight, and her eyes glittered with the reflection of the fire. There truly was fire in her, he realized. She was made of fire and had the uncontrollable spirit of fire. He nearly shivered as she moved freely to the primitive music, forgetting her shyness as Curly led her confidently in the dance and as she felt the drive of the drums. She was breathtaking, Jimmy thought. Full of grace and life.

And love too, even if it was not all for him.

"She is quite beautiful, isn't she?" A soft voice beside him suddenly said.

Jimmy jumped a mile heavenwards and then turned to meet the dark eyes of Raven Wing. She had a knowing look on her face. Jimmy knew that she clearly saw his feelings for Lou.

In fact, she probably knew more about his feelings than he himself did.

"Yes she is," Jimmy sighed, and then smiled gently at her, "But so are you, my friend."

"She's rare too," Raven Wing continued as she turned to study Lou, "Very, spirited, very free, very brave."

"She is at that," Jimmy nodded, his eyes again resting on Lou as he repeated "She certainly is, and you don't know the half of it."

"Things are not well between you?" She asked.

"We'll be all right," Jimmy said defensively.

"I know what you are thinking. Don't. She cares for you very much. If you can't see it, everyone else can."

Jimmy shrugged and Raven Wing shook her head in amazement. For such a good, confident, brave man, he seemed so doubtful of the idea that someone cared for him. It made her very sad, and suddenly she wished to see him joyful.

"Come, we cannot let Curly and Lou have all the fun!" She suddenly said, and grabbing his hand started for the fire.

"Oh no!" Jimmy protested.

Her grip, however, was strong, and before he knew it, Jimmy was making a complete fool out of himself.

Lou met his eyes, seeming surprised to see him there. She looked alarmed, as if she was afraid he'd yell at her again. Then, as he stumbled in mid-stride under the weight of her stare, she threw her head back and laughed. Her white teeth gleamed and Jimmy couldn't remember her ever looking happier, or more beautiful.

Eventually the drums slowed and Lou and Curly came to join Raven Wing and Jimmy who'd retired from the fireside long ago to sit on the ground and watch their counterparts circle the fire again and again.

They were both covered in sweat and laughing. Lou met Jimmy's eyes shyly, wondering if he was still upset with her.

"You look like Pocohontas out there," he murmured by way of a peace offering and she giggled.

Jimmy rose to stand beside her as Curly collapsed on the ground beside his wife. He touched her abdomen lightly and spoke to his unborn child, "Hello my lovely daughter! How are you tonight?"

"Son," Raven Wing corrected him.

"We'll name him Little Flower," Curly grinned, still convinced his firstborn would be a girl.

"The other boys will laugh at him," Raven Wing warned her husband, lovingly stroking his hair.

Jimmy and Lou laughed, but both of them looked on with a little envy.

Curly looked at Raven Wing, "Our friend here has almost killed me! I believe she could have gone on dancing for two more moons!"

"Three," Lou admitted, grinning.

Suddenly a horse came thundering into the village. The brave on its back yelled three short, sharp yells, and a chill took over Lou as she recognized the war cry from earlier that day.

Curly was instantly on his feet, as was Raven Wing.

"What's going on?" Jimmy demanded.

"It is a cry of attack!"

The camp burst into a frenzy once again. However, this time braves ran for their horses.

"We must ride out to meet them! It is more Paiutes, and they cannot reach the village! They are a greater number and will attack the weakest first!" Curly breathlessly told Jimmy after consulting with another man.

"I'm going with you!" Jimmy insisted.

"Jimmy!" Lou protested, grabbing his arm, "This isn't your fight!"

Curly nodded, "She is right. You do not have to go!"

"I don't want to see these children slaughtered any more than you do!" Jimmy yelled over the

activity.

"I will get our horses!" Curly said, and Raven Wing was close to his side as he took off for the meadow.

"Jimmy, please don't go!" Lou cried out when she was alone with him.

"Ah, Lou, this isn't any different than any fight we've ever been in and you've never stopped me

before!"

"Yes it is! You don't know the first thing about how the Paiutes or the Sioux fight, except that the side that loses dies! What if you lose?" Lou demanded.

The fear in her eyes was touching. Jimmy reached out to tilt her chin up, "I don't plan on losing, and neither does anyone else! We'll be fine!"

Lou looked at the ground, angry at him for going but not able to find an excuse that would make him stay.

"It will be all right Lou," He assured her, "This will probably help us get out of here."

Lou spotted Curly leading the horses towards them and knew her time with Jimmy was limited.

"Remember you have to be back by tomorrow," Lou said, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes, "You have to make me a bride!"

Her voice wavered in fear. Her eyes sparkled with tears.

"Please don't cry Lou," Jimmy pleaded.

Lou nodded and bravely tried to blink down her tears, "Okay." She stepped forward and kissed him softly on the lips, forcing herself to remain chaste with the kiss.

"What was that for?" Jimmy grinned.

"For luck." Lou told him, then pleaded, "Please be careful!"

Jimmy looked deep into her eyes and smiled, "I will be."

He turned to go, and Lou suddenly flung herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back and then looked down into her eyes again. He sought permission, found it, and then leaned down to kiss her very briefly.

"We should go," Curly said, as he stepped away from Raven Wing who was hanging on to his neck also.

They mounted their horses. Lou reached for Jimmy's hand once more.

"Ride safe, Jimmy," She whispered.

"Always," He said confidently, and they rode away, leaving Lou and Raven Wing standing there with their arms around one another.

Lou watched Jimmy until he disappeared in the darkness, disquiet gnawing at her. She felt something dangerous in the air, almost like a storm coming.

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews and encouragement! It makes my day! The story is completed, I promise. I'm just trying to polish a bit as I post since it hasn't had any attention in 18 years!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: In the Corners of the Soul

* * *

Lou leaned against a tree, her arms wrapped around herself, and stared into the sunset.

She'd never known such a long night and day in her life. Raven Wing had been with her most of the time, but her worry over Curly was great also, and they hadn't been able to offer much comfort to one another.

She was alone now. Raven Wing had gone to pray with the medicine man for the safe return of her husband and father.

Lou did some praying herself.

The uneasiness she'd had since she lost sight of Jimmy had not gone away, and it only grew worse with every passing hour he did not ride back. Her stomach twisted into a tight knot, and for the hundredth time that day, she was almost sick.

 _It might have been my wedding day,_ she thought ironically.

She shivered and tried to think of something else but Jimmy's absence.

She'd seen Dark Wolf earlier in the day. He was healing quickly. He walked with a slight limp on the leg that had been burned, and he wore a loose fitting white man's shirt over his charred shoulder. His hair had been cut, stopping just above his shoulders. She could only see the burns on his neck, but thought they would likely scar. Dark Wolf would always remember her, she thought, whether he wanted to or not.

She'd avoided him altogether, abruptly going in the opposite direction, and was glad she had. Raven Wing had told her his soul was dark after his disfigurement and also because he had been told he would not ride with the Sioux tribe. He was highly unsatisfied with how his injury had been handled by Running Horse, thinking as a captive, Lou should have been punished by fire. His blood was hot, Raven Wing had said, and he was more dangerous than ever. Thankfully his injury would limit his actions for a while. She was thankful that Jimmy would not meet him in combat.

Thinking of Dark Wolf inevitably brought her thoughts back to Jimmy, and she glanced at the darkening sky. Over and over again, she could see in her mind how the surrendering warriors from yesterday had been annihilated.

"Please God, let him be all right!" She whispered.

She was still standing by the tree in the darkness, watching the trail the braves had ridden out on when she heard hoof beats. Her breath caught in her throat as other women began running out of their homes. Would it be the Sioux riding in, or the Paiutes to finish them all? There was no way to know, and nothing they could do either way.

A sigh of relief escaped her as Running Horse appeared, sitting proudly in his saddle, but obviously nursing a bad arm. Raven Wing cried out and went to him.

The other braves rode in the same tired, but proud manner. Many of them were hurt, some badly. Lou's eyes searched every face that appeared in the firelight of the village, her breath coming faster in panic as Jimmy didn't appear.

Curly finally came through the clearing, swaying unsteadily on his horse. Raven Wing left her father's side to go to him. He was hurt badly and fell off the horse into her arms.

Lou ran to him, wild with panic.

"Curly, where's Jimmy?" She demanded in desperation, nearly pushing Raven Wing aside.

"Do not know," He mumbled and grimaced in pain.

She darted here and there, frantically asking the other braves, but they either didn't understand her, or even if they knew who she was asking about, knew nothing of him.

Lou left them all to run up the trail. Her breath was coming in hitching gasps, she was fully in the grip of a blind hysteria. Finally, drawing all the breath she had in her body, she screamed his name at the top of her lungs.

"I'm right here, Lou," he said, quietly, from behind her.

A sob of relief caught in her throat as she turned, found him sitting on his horse behind her. He climbed down and she catapulted herself into his arms, taking them both backwards several steps.

"I went looking for you at the teepee first," he said by way of explanation.

Lou hit him lightly on the arm in a teasing scold, but when he hissed in pain, froze.

"You're hurt!"

"A scratch," he assured her, but she was already at his side, her fingers at the buttons of his shirt. And damn him, much as his arm hurt him, his body roused to the touch of her hands.

"It's too dark to see anything. Let's get you back...home," She only hesitated a moment before calling it that. "What happened?"

"I, uh, took an arrow."

"You what?" She shrieked, and then calmed herself, and repeated. "You got shot with an arrow."

"Yeah-it just grazed me through the meat of my arm I think...I-I pulled it out."

"You pulled it out. Yourself." Lou muttered and then without waiting for him to answer said, "of course you did, Jimmy Hickock."

"It was in my way," he explained.

She didn't ask him for more details as she dragged his good arm around her shoulder and helped him back to their spot. Once there, she sat him on his bedroll and went about making a fire.

"I've got some whiskey…in my saddlebags. I need some…" He told her through teeth clenched in pain, when the lodge was bathed in flickering warm light.

Lou didn't question why he was carrying whiskey when the company forbade drinking, and was just desperately glad that there was something to ease his pain. She retrieved the flask quickly and when she noticed his good hand shaking, she held it to his lips for him.

Then thinking the better of it, she took a good, long swig herself.

* * *

Jimmy sat stoically while Lou cleaned the nasty puncture wound and bound it She had seen worse, actually-the arrow had really only grazed him, but she imagined he'd done a lot more damage when he insisted on pulling it out himself than if he'd let someone tend it that knew what they were doing.

"Jimmy, how does it feel?" she asked at last.

He smiled and met her eyes. "I'll do, Lou. I've had worse."

Drums beat outside as prayers went up to the Spirits for the many wounded braves clinging to life. They seemed to thrum up through the earth and into Lou's stomach, making her feel even more uneasy. She wondered briefly if it had been another century when she and Curly had danced so freely around the fire. Had that only been a day ago?

"Jimmy, what happened? You were gone so long, and I-I thought..." the endless night and day of waiting caught up to her suddenly, and her voice refused to obey her, and she knew she could not speak without crying.

He saw that she was beside herself with worry, and realized that while the last 24 hours had been hellacious for him, it would have felt an eternity to Lou, waiting for word, not knowing what had happened to him, and what would become of her if he did not return.

"Lou, come here," he murmured softly, and was pleased when she did so, scooting under his good arm and wrapping her arms tightly around his middle.

"Damn it, Jimmy." She breathed, and turned her face up to his, her feelings bald and plain in her face. Since he'd ridden out, she'd had little else to contemplate than her feelings for him. She knew she was in trouble. She loved him. She couldn't put he and Kid in separate columns and compare what she felt; she didn't have the perspective for that. But she loved this man who fought for her, and for others. While the world feared him, she loved him. And she did not know what that meant for either one of them tomorrow, but tonight, he was back, and he was mostly whole, and she needed him to understand how she felt. And for once in her life, she didn't need to plan, to study the consequences from every angle until she was exhausted.

She looked up at him for a long moment, the firelight catching his eyes. Putting a hand against his cheek, she rose up to kiss him.

She held nothing back. He met her there, and his kiss possessed her and sent heat spiraling through her entire body, head to toe. It was as if something was unleashed in him by her boldness, and she trembled at the power of what was there between them.

There had been so much death in the past days. This was life. This was love.

Jimmy shifted subtly, ignoring the slight protest in his arm, and bore Lou down to the bedroll beneath him, stretching out alongside the length of her. His mouth and hands explored her slowly, reverently. He learned the plains and curves of her that he'd thought of plenty of times, but never imagined knowing. He learned she was ticklish behind the curve of her knee, and that his breath along her neck could raise chills all the way down her wrists. To his delight, he learned he could make her squeak by nipping her earlobe. He learned the little growl she made when he brought his hand through her hair to cradle the nape of her neck and lifted her mouth closer to his, and that sound made him burn.

His exploration was unhurried, like he had all the time in the world, as if he would study her cell by cell. Lou was simply awash in the raw emotion and physical havoc he brought down upon her, alternately wanting him to show her mercy and never stop.

There was none of the shyness she'd experienced in the beginning with Kid. No wondering if what she did was right, or proper, or what Jimmy would think of her for it. She relied on him and on the sensations he was pulling from what felt like the deepest corners of her, and she simply knew that whatever she did would be the right thing, that her pleasure brought him pleasure.

Suddenly, Jimmy pulled back, eyes on hers in the firelight. She blinked, stunned by all she was feeling.

"Lou," he began, and she saw the guilt rise up in his eyes, the uncertainty.

Wordlessly, she stood, and he sat up, dazed. He watched her, thankful that one of them had come to their senses and put a stop to this madness, but then realized what she was doing.

Her fingers rose slowly to the ties of her buckskin dress, and with a deft and sure motion, she tugged first one side, then the other. The soft hide slid down her body and pooled like water at her feet, and she stepped out of it. She stood there a moment before him wearing nothing but the shadows the firelight threw upon her honey-colored skin.

He couldn't speak, because his eyes were full of her, and his heart was somewhere in his throat where his air should have been.

"God, Lou." He managed at last.

She smiled, and his breath was gone again. She crawled into his lap, fingers working into his hair, mouth on his.

Jimmy reached up and grabbed her wrists, stilling her for a moment.

"Lou, I can only ask this once. You're sure? Damn sure?"

"Damn sure, Jimmy," she confirmed, and there was no turning back for either of them.

* * *

After, he dozed, physical exhaustion overtaking him. She was emotionally spent, but still wide awake. She tried not to, but she couldn't help compare what had just happened with what she'd known before.

With Kid, she'd felt revered, worshipped, loved. Kid held her like he would never let her go, never let anything bad happen to her, like he wanted to protect and cherish her. He had given her his whole heart. And starved for love, she had responded to it. He'd called to her soul with his tenderness and his passion, and they discovered the depths of their love together, hesitantly at first, but with more confidence as the trust between them had grown.

Jimmy had not held her like she was a fragile thing, and there was no hesitation in him. He'd made her feel powerful, like wildfire ran in her blood. Where Kid asked, Jimmy demanded, had known the places she was capable of going long before Lou got there. But while he'd demanded, he'd also given. He'd patiently and relentlessly drawn responses from her body, and Lou had met him, challenged him. It was a battle of sorts, both of them on the same side. Now she wasn't sure if she felt conquered or victorious, or both, but she had never felt more alive, or more like a woman.

With the heat of passion cooled, she wondered at the consequences of what they had done. What would tomorrow bring? Would Jimmy regret what had happened? Would his guilt dampen what had been between them? Would hers? Had they irrevocably destroyed the deep and complete friendship that she valued above all else?

And whatever happened, if and when they left here, what in the world was she going to do about the two men she loved?

She shifted, might have made some sound of distress, because Jimmy stirred. His arm came around her more tightly, his lips passed over her temple.

"Alright, Lou?" he whispered, voice rough from sleep. His hand skimmed down her arm, fingers intertwining with hers.

She couldn't help but smile in response. In this moment, she was content.

Somewhere in the dark corner of her mind, the part of her that had lived such a turbulent life warned her that her happiness in this moment would come at a cost.

* * *

She woke at dawn and rose from their shared pallet, taking a moment to admire the strength and grace of Jimmy's chest and shoulders, feeling a wash of desire through her, though they'd made love twice more during the night.

There were dark shadows under Jimmy's eyes and his handsome face was carved into exhausted lines. As much as she wouldn't mind waking him, she knew he needed his sleep.

She did not bother with the dress and instead took one of his shirts from his saddlebag, buttoning it over her as she took their bucket and went outside, planning to address the call of nature and bring water back from the creek quickly in the cool morning air.

Casting a cautious eye around, she bent and brought a cold mountain water up in the bucket. Smiling to herself, lost in thought over some of the finer moments of the night before, she turned back toward the teepee, anxious to face Jimmy in the morning light.

And crashed into the solid wall of Dark Wolf's chest.

She reeled backwards, sloshing water over her bare legs.

He regarded her undress with leering distaste, like he smelled something bad.

"Get out of my way," She growled at him, her bravado the only weapon she had with the exception of the bucket. Knowing he didn't understand her, she set her jaw and decided to walk around him.

He then did something that sent fear and dread straight through her heart. He spoke to her in perfect English, his words not shocking her half as much as the fact that he had deceived all of them, his own tribe, by pretending not to know the language.

"You marry him, you white whore, and not a soul you care about here will survive the night!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Joined

Dark Wolf sneered at her again, and backed away slowly, and Lou was too stunned to do anything about it at all.

He'd said no one here that she cared about would survive…but with the exception of Jimmy the people she cared about here were his own blood.

"Lou?" Jimmy's voice called her softly out of her revelry from the entrance to their teepee. His eyebrows were drawn together and she could just about hear him worrying over her, wondering if she regretted what had happened the night before.

Almost of its own accord, a huge smile stretched her cheeks. It felt alien on her face after the last months of misery.

She saw him sigh with relief at her expression and his eyes didn't shift from hers as she closed the distance between them. Maybe she should have felt embarrassed of her actions from the night before, of her boldness, but she didn't.

And that was the key to Jimmy Hickock, she thought. He accepted people as who they were and he loved them for it. Lou put her arms around his middle, stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly, feeling it lift when he grinned too.

"Hey," he said shyly.

"Hey yourself."

"Lou-"

"Jimmy, before you piss me off by making some sort of self-deprecating speech about how you shouldn't have done to me what you did, and how I wasn't thinkin' straight what with being an addle-minded woman and having had a sip of whisky to boot, and about how you took advantage of me and my good nature, let me just say, _don't._ "

He closed his mouth a minute, looking at her with raised eyebrows. Then he grinned, "I was actually gonna suggest I take advantage of you again...and I'd never accuse you of having a good nature, Lou."

And with that, a shocked laugh escaped her, and he was laughing too, and everything that should have been difficult in the morning light was easy.

Over breakfast, Lou glanced at Jimmy. "You gonna tell me what the hell happened now?"

Jimmy sighed, put his plate aside. "They were waiting for us…a trap," He began, his brow wrinkling with pain at the memory of the ambush.

"But you won?"

Jimmy looked away from her, "We didn't win. Too many were hurt and killed for anyone to have won. But at least we stopped them. I need to check on Curly. He was hit pretty hard."

"Finish your breakfast first."

"Hey Lou-I think today may be, you know, the day for the ceremony. Curly told me yesterday before the attack that we would need to be married as soon as we got back, before the new moon."

Lou nodded but said nothing. She suddenly remembered what Dark Wolf had said to her. _If you marry him, not a soul you care about here will survive the night._ Surely he was only trying to scare her. He could do nothing to the chief's daughter, Curly, or to her or Jimmy…could he? He was one man.

"Something on your mind?" Jimmy wondered, and shifted restlessly. Even though he wanted to feel perfectly at ease with what had happened between them last night, even though he'd be happy to spend every night for the rest of his natural born life in exactly the same way, his conscience was flailing at his happiness like a bullwhip. Did she feel near-agonizing guilt about Kid, or was it easier for her since she'd had the benefit of being hurt by Kid first?

Lou contemplated telling him about Dark Wolf's threat, but she worried what Jimmy might do if he knew Dark Wolf had cornered her again. Feeling that they had already stretched the boundaries of acceptable behavior so far as Dark Wolf was concerned, she thought it best to keep her mouth closed.

"Just thinking we put the wagon before the horse on the whole wedding thing," she murmured, flushing despite herself.

He chuckled. "Seems like an awful good way to travel to me."

* * *

 _Lou found herself running through a misty field, screaming for Jimmy. Suddenly she saw him on his horse, and he smiled and began riding toward her without getting any closer. Dark Wolf emerged behind Jimmy with his bow drawn. Lou screamed, but was too late and too far away to help Jimmy when the arrow pierced his arm and he toppled off the horse. Lou ran until she was sure her lungs would burst and flung herself down next to Jimmy._

 _Her gasp echoed in the misty field. It wasn't Jimmy laying in the meadow, but Kid. The arrow was straight through his heart, his life blood leaving his body._

 _"No!" She screamed, "No! Kid, I love you! No! God, please!"_

 _At that point he opened his eyes and told her, "Get up!"_

 _Her brow wrinkled in confusion as she tried to make sense of his words._

"Get up, Lou! Lou, you're having a bad dream!" A voice said gently from somewhere behind her closed eyelids.

Lou gasped and sat straight up, damp with a cold sweat. Her chest heaved rapidly, and she felt as if she might be sick.

Raven Wing crouched in front of her, her hands resting gently on her shoulder.

Lou's eyes searched the teepee in confusion as she tried to orient herself. Exhausted from the last two sleepless nights, she'd lay on her bedroll while Jimmy went to check on Curly. It must have only taken her seconds to drift off.

 _A dream, well, a nightmare_ , she thought. She blinked down the tears that had started to gather and then looked back at Raven Wing.

"What are you doing here?" She wondered, then her eyes flew to Jimmy's empty bedroll and panic filled her voice, "Where is he! He's alright, isn't he?"

Raven Wing shook her shoulder gently, hoping to chase the last of the sleepy confusion from her, "He's fine. He has gone to prepare for your wedding ceremony. It is almost time."

"Raven Wing, how is Curly?"

"Curly is well. I have tended his wounds."

"Jimmy is still hurt. And so many of your tribe has died! We can't get married today!" Lou began in a weak protest. She knew very well it wouldn't take a lot of strength to stand up and be married, but her dream about Kid had upset her.

And then, there was Dark Wolf's threat to consider.

"Quit your sulking!" Raven Wing said lightly, "Come, let's get you ready! You will be the most beautiful bride the Sioux have ever seen!"

"I think they've already seen the most beautiful bride they ever will," Lou said kindly and followed Raven Wing out of the teepee and down to the pond.

Raven Wing hummed and worked on unlacing the intricate strings of the white dress she had given Lou while Lou bathed.

Lou couldn't seem to stop the trembling of her hands. That feeling was back, she realized, the same one she'd had when she had not seen Jimmy ride back into camp. Trying to shake the feeling had no effect.

"You know what the people are calling you, don't you?" Raven Wing asked when Lou surfaced from rinsing her hair.

"I can only imagine," Lou said with a slight smile.

"No, it is an honorable name," Raven Wing laughed, "Though Dark Wolf finds no pleasure in it."

"What then?" Lou wondered.

"Fire Dancer," Raven Wing smiled, "For the night when you and Curly were dancing. They all thought the Spirits were speaking to you then. They also call you that because of how you fought Dark Wolf with the fire. They admire you."

Lou blushed and then giggled at the absurdity of it. She could just imagine telling Cody to call her Fire Dancer, but she was pleased nonetheless.

"What do they call Jimmy?" She wondered, knowing it would someday make a good story.

"Fire Watcher," Raven Wing giggled, "Because he spends all his time getting you out of trouble!"

Lou laughed too, "I guess he does!"

"But the women think that is a good name because he looks at you with such love," When Lou shifted uncomfortably Raven Wing quickly added, "They call him Silver Guns too. But mostly Fire Watcher."

Lou sighed and Raven Wing watched the girl with pity. She loved Jimmy, the Sioux woman knew, but there was another who had claimed her heart long ago, and she recognized in Lou a woman who did not love lightly, nor let go of love lightly.

"Come, my friend, let's get you dressed," Raven Wing smiled.

Lou reluctantly allowed Raven Wing to slip the white dress over her head and begin tying it.

Lou glanced down at it. Certainly not the bridal gown of her little girl fantasies, but it was beautiful. The turquoise beadwork was intricate. The dress itself fit her well. Raven Wing helped her into a pair of white moccasins. Then she motioned for Lou to follow her back to her tee pee. Lou sat quietly, lost in thought while Raven Wing brushed her hair until it shone. She then wove white ribbons in and out of her hair.

Finally she stepped away from Lou and studied her creation. Tears filled Raven Wing's eyes, "Very beautiful. James will be so pleased."

Lou sighed and tried to smile, but found she just couldn't. When tears threatened her lashes she closed them tightly and refused to let herself cry.

Jimmy was making a big sacrifice too, she suddenly realized. It wasn't as if this was the way he'd planned his life to turn out either. For the first time she wondered if he would have preferred to fight Dark Wolf rather than marry her, and if that was the reason he'd kept asking if she was sure. He just hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings by telling her that he didn't want to marry her.

The thought left her mind a few minutes later when Raven Wing led her to the center of the village where Running Horse, Curly, Jimmy, and many other tribe members stood. Many there had to lean on others for support because they were wounded. Despite the fact that these were her captors, her heart ached for their injury and loss.

Four warriors held a large blanket at each corner and under it, Jimmy waited.

Jimmy made a dashing groom. They'd given him traditional Sioux garb to wear. The buckskin breeches and beaded vest looked almost natural on him. The white bandage on his arm was shap contrast to his brown, muscled arm. His black hat was nowhere to be found, so she could see the look in his eyes clearly. He wasn't going to regret marrying her, she realized. A cross of sorrow and gratitude filled her own eyes.

Jimmy felt as if any minute his heart might thump so forcefully against his chest that it would escape. She was beautiful. Her soft brown eyes were shining as she met his uncertainly, and she looked perfect in the Sioux dress; untamed, one of a kind. Everything he loved about her.

Jimmy beamed as she came to stand beside him.

He smiled at her for a long moment, and they turned their attention to the medicine man, who began reciting something in Lakota. Almost immediately he looked back to her, Jimmy met Lou's eyes and held her stare for a long time as the Sioux blessing was performed. Lou felt hypnotized by his eyes, and was so touched at his devotion that tears welled in her own eyes. It was how she imagined her groom looking at her on her wedding day. The last thing she expected was that she would feel so conflicted and lost as a bride.

Then the vision of Kid from her dream, pierced by an arrow played in her mind and Jimmy noticed the change. Her eyes slid from his, the moment lost.

Lou let her eyes wander over the faces of the people who were her captors, but strangely also her friends, some of them, and then to the mountains and over them, towards Sweetwater.

She searched for Dark Wolf, but found him nowhere. She stirred nervously and glanced back at Jimmy before looking over her shoulders, wondering where he was.

"What is it?" He wondered through clenched teeth, trying not to let anyone know he was talking.

"Dark Wolf isn't here," She commented.

"Good," He muttered, and they both turned their attention back to the medicine man.

He was almost done with the passage when a brave rode into the village at full speed, much like the event from the day before. The war cry went up.

He pulled up his horse inches from Lou, Jimmy, the medicine man, and Running Horse, sending a spray of dust upon all of them.

He spoke in rapid, panicked Lakota, and Raven Wing moved closer to Jimmy and Lou to translate, "Pony Soldiers are coming! They seem to know where the camp is! They will kill us all!"

Jimmy shook his head, "No, they won't! I'll go and serve as a mediator! They will listen to me!"

"You can't ride!" Lou cried, "None of you can! You are all hurt! If something does happen you won't have a chance of fighting back! You'll all be killed!"

Jimmy sighed, "It will be all right, Lou!"

"That's what you said last time you rode out, and you rode back in with an arrow in your arm."

"The important thing is, I rode back in. This time will be different. I know I can help the Sioux! And then surely we'll be allowed to go home!" He looked to Curly.

"Curly, I want you to tell Running Horse right now that if anything happens to me, she is to be set free!"

Lou was already shaking her head when Running Horse nodded in agreement.

"I don't care about going home if you aren't alive!" She growled and threw her arms around him, holding hard. "Please don't go Jimmy! I have a bad feeling! I can't explain it, but I just know something horrible is going to happen if you ride out of here!"

Shocked at her desperate attempts to get him to stay Jimmy peeled her away from his neck and placed hands on both of her shoulders, leaning down to look her in the eye. He'd never seen her so scared, nor so adamant.

"Now, Lou, I know you had a bad scare last night. We all did. But this won't be anything like that. The army is probably looking for us. If I tell them they've found us and we are okay, they'll leave everyone alone, and we'll go home, okay?"

She was already shaking her head, "Jimmy, I'm begging you…something isn't right! Dark Wolf threatened me, said something bad would happen to you all of I married you!"

Jimmy's eyes were suddenly intent on hers. "Why didn't you tell me? When?"

"This morning."

"Raven Wing, where is Dark Wolf? It's time to settle this…"

"My father made him ride out this morning. He is to go and dream of his future and to rid himself of his hatred."

"You tell your father if he comes near her, I have given her one of my guns and she will kill him," Jimmy said forcefully.

"I will kill him if I see him near her too," Raven Wing promised.

"I am not worried about me, damn it. I am worried about you, and Curly, and Raven Wing! Please stay here!"

"Lou, darlin', I have to go!"

"Fine!" She snapped out angrily, "Go out and get yourself killed! I'll be sure to get the others to throw you a nice funeral back in Sweetwater!"

Before Jimmy could respond she tore her arm from his grasp and ran from him.

Jimmy put his hands on his hips and bowed his head. He'd like to attribute her hysteria to a typical woman's misunderstanding of war, but he knew her better. He trusted her. And yet, it didn't make any sense why she was so scared for him. The army, though they had a bad reputation, would not gun down a white man, even if he did try to represent the interests of the Indians. It didn't make sense for her to be so terrified for him.

"Will you go with them?" Raven Wing asked softly, and he jumped, having forgotten she was there.

"Yes," Jimmy said simply and looked at the beautiful woman, "Raven Wing, would you…"

She smiled and interrupted him, "Of course I'll look out for her. Don't worry."

Jimmy affectionately cradled her cheek then left her with her husband and went to get their horses.

A few minutes later the Sioux war party, looking very thin and not fierce at all, set out of camp.

Lou watched them go from behind a tree, tears rolling down her face.

Jimmy glanced back to try and spot Lou, but he couldn't find her. Sighing and holding his slowly bleeding arm closer to him to keep it from moving, he set his jaw and looked ahead.

They were all riding out to protect their homes, their children, their women.

Their wives, Jimmy thought with a jolt.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: World on Fire

Note: Graphic scenes of violence in this chapter

Jimmy rode at the front of the pack, right beside Curly. He was accepted as one of them now, he knew.

"Where are the soldiers camped?" Jimmy wondered.

"It is not far now," Curly murmured tensely, "The white men call it Hawk's bluff."

Jimmy sighed with relief. His arm was aching and he had been plagued by uneasiness for leaving Lou the way they had parted, and he had second thoughts about being away from her knowing Dark Wolf had threatened her. They had been riding for over an hour. He couldn't help but wish he'd just stayed in the camp and let the wedding ceremony be finished.

 _She can take care of herself, damn it, Hickock. Don't fall into the hole Kid did with her!_

Jimmy glanced at Curly. He looked to feel every bit of the dread Jimmy did.

"Curly, the soldiers will listen to me. They are probably looking for me and Lou!"

"The soldiers listen to no one when they see red men," Curly snapped back, "One of our fellow Sioux villages was attacked and many women and children murdered by the army!"

Jimmy nodded, remembering that had been the reason for the rumors of the Sioux acting up in the first place. Funny how that village had not been the one to catch them, but instead Running Horse's village, avenging the honor of one of their women had found him and Lou first, "It will be different this time"

Running Horse pulled up on a rise. Curly moved up to sit beside him. Jimmy could hear the confusion and surprise in their voices. Other braves expressed similar sentiments.

Jimmy nudged his horse up beside Curly and stared at the bluff. It was empty, and looked as if it had been for a long time.

"What's wrong?" He wondered.

"This is Hawk's Bluff, the place where the Pony Soldiers were camped."

"Are you sure?" Jimmy wondered.

"That is where Laughing Fox said he spotted the soldiers."

There was silence for a moment.

Then Curly wondered, "Why would Laughing Fox tell us there were soldiers looking for us here? Why, when there has been no one here for months?"

Jimmy suddenly realized who Laughing Fox was…Dark Wolf's shadow.

"He did it to clear the village of all the warriors!" Jimmy said, feeling ill, "Dark Wolf is planning something while we are gone!"

Curly paled also, his eyes bright with fury. He turned to tell Running Horse.

Running Horse demanded that Laughing Fox be brought forward for an explanation. Laughing Fox had been with them when they started out from the village. However, he'd slipped away long before they realized what he'd done.

"The women and children," Curly suddenly groaned, "They are helpless!"

"Lou is not helpless!" Jimmy growled, relieved he had left her a gun. But what was Dark Wolf planning? And how many others were involved, unhappy with how Running Horse had treated his captives?

Wordlessly Curly turned and kicked his horse into a full gallop. Jimmy was only half a stride behind him. The rest of the tribe followed.

However both of them knew they were already far too late…

* * *

Lou crouched beside the stream, washing out Jimmy's torn and bloodied shirt. Raven Wing sat beside her, dangling her feet in the cool water.

Despite her feeling of impending danger and her determination to be in a bad mood, the Sioux woman had cheered her considerably.

"Raven Wing, how do you stand the waiting when they ride off to war?"

"Is it not your people's way for a woman to stay behind in a fight?"

"Well...Yes, I guess most white women would...but I…" she paused, not sure how to explain how she had met the boys, proved herself under the guise of a man, and now no one but maybe Kid would expect her to stay behind.

Raven Wing smiled and finished for her, "But you are an unusual woman. In any world."

Lou smiled and blushed at the warmth in her voice.

"I worry for him. But the men have their battles, and the women have theirs," her hand rested on her rounding belly.

Lou glanced sideways at Raven Wing and smiled. Even in the short time she'd been with the Sioux, Lou could see the change in Raven Wing's body.

Raven Wing caught her looking and laughed, "Before long I'll be as big as a horse!"

"It must be strange, sharing your body with someone else."

She laughed. "I think it is not as strange as I thought it would be. And Curly is so happy! He thinks it is a girl!"

"I remember. Named Little Flower," Lou recalled from the night around the bonfire.

"It is a son," Raven Wing said, and wrinkled her nose and nodded her head, "I know. And he will grow up to be a warrior to fight for our way of life!"

She was somber for a moment. She turned to study Lou, "And you? Will you have many children?"

Lou laughed and blushed, "I can't even imagine! Someday…maybe."

"My wish is that our sons, yours and mine, live in peace."

Lou smiled sadly. Raven Wing knew from her troubled look that she thought of Jimmy and the other man, the man she'd cried out for her in her dream.

"The wedding ceremony was never finished," Raven Wing pointed out, "But perhaps we will not have to tell anyone else that…especially Dark Wolf."

Lou looked at Raven Wing, "Do you read my mind or do I just think out loud?"

Raven Wing laughed, "Ah, perhaps a bit a both!"

She turned her dark eyes back to the water and stared at her feet, grinning before sending a spray of water over both of them.

They both giggled like little girls.

Then Lou felt it, a very slight trembling in the ground. When she became tense, Raven Wing ceased to make a sound.

"What is it?"

"Do you feel that?" Lou wondered, daring to hope she was imagining things.

However, she didn't have to wait for an answer.

The trembling grew stronger and soon they heard the sound that caused it, the hoof beats of many horses.

"It is too soon for them to be back, isn't it?" Lou wondered, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Yes. They couldn't have even reached Hawk's Bluff yet, much less have returned from it," Raven Wing said grimly.

"Are there any guns or weapons in the village?" Lou asked quickly, "We don't have much time."

"A few," Raven Wing said, determined to remain calm as long as Lou was able to.

"Alert everyone of possible danger. Give out the guns. Tell everyone to hide outside the village. We can't fight them, there are too many, I can tell that much by their horses. Just let them take what they will."

"The women don't even know how to use guns!" Raven Wing began, her voice beginning to climb in fear.

"I hope they don't have to! But, now is as good a time as any to learn!" Lou told her, "Go! I am going to get my gun! Then I will find you! There isn't a second to be lost!"

Raven Wing nodded and tilted her head to give the cry of warning as she ran into the village.

Lou's hands trembled as she retrieved Jimmy's gun, thankful he'd left her with it. She then burst out of the teepee and went to supervise the women, children, and elderly fleeing the village.

They took cover in the woods surrounding the village, and Lou was amazed at their ability to disappear.

Raven Wing looked at her, rifle in hand, "Let's hide," She suggested.

Lou nodded and they ran together to find an overturned tree in the forest skirting the village.

"They'll be here soon," Lou murmured, her heart beating in her throat. The terror she felt when Jimmy left seemed to be a thousand times that magnitude now.

Twenty horses charged into the village. Lou's eyes narrowed as she looked them over. They were a rough looking band of misfits. The one at the lead seemed to be a trapper; he was a bear of a man. Most of the others looked to be young half-breeds or rough looking white men.

"The bastard!" Lou suddenly spat out as her eyes fell on a figure at the back of the pack. It was Dark Wolf. Close by his side was Laughing Fox.

"That's what he meant," Lou mumbled to herself. Raven Wing didn't ask her to explain. She was too shocked to see the man she at one time was promised to riding against his people.

The raiders were clearly surprised to find the village deserted, calling out to each other in confusion. However, it didn't deter them for long, and with a cry from the leader, they charged through the village.

Raven Wing and Lou witnessed in silent devastation the destruction they wrought. They tore down everything in their path: teepees, huts that stored food, monuments, even the platform a brave who had died yesterday lay upon. Lou shuddered as the body crashed to the ground. These men were some of the most vicious she'd ever seen.

On their second pass through the village the raiders threw torches on everything they'd wrecked on the first. Lou's eyes narrowed as she studied Dark Wolf, burning and destroying with the best of them. She watched as he destroyed her and Jimmy's teepee with special vigor.

Her finger caressed the trigger of Jimmy's fine gun.

Once almost every structure in the village was destroyed, the band of riders stopped.

Dark Wolf threw back his head and yelled in Lakota.

Raven Wing whispered the translation, "He tells us to come out, that he will find us all and kill us anyway!" She needn't have bothered with the translation though, because next Dark Wolf called out in English, "And you, Fire Dancer, you will never escape this day alive!"

There was silence. Not one of the Sioux people breathed. They were well scattered, Lou realized hopefully, and she prayed that the men would not be able to find any of them.

"Maybe I should go out there. Perhaps Dark Wolf will leave all of you alone if I let him take me," Lou began.

"No! You will not!"

"This is my fault, Raven Wing," Lou said, the first tears of guilt coming to her eyes, "He told me if I married Jimmy no one would survive! I didn't think he meant it!"

"Shhh," Raven Wing comforted her, loving even in her terror, "Dark Wolf is not really Sioux. He is the son of an Apache woman captive who died when he was very young. He grew up serving the tribe, until he proved himself a valuable warrior. He asked my father for me, and my father thought he could show him his acceptance by granting his request. About that time Curly came along and we fell in love. My father explained this to him, but Dark Wolf would not believe that it was because of my happiness. He believed he was still looked upon as a captive. This is why he hates captives so much, especially you and Jimmy, who in many ways have been treated much better than he ever has. He hates the Sioux, but knows no other tribe."

Lou took a deep breath and nodded. It was, at least, some sort of an explanation for the hate Dark Wolf had showered upon her from the minute he laid eyes on her. It did nothing for their situation now though.

"Show yourselves!" The big man with an eye patch roared as he fired his gun into the air.

Still, no one moved.

And then it happened, and Lou was sure exactly at that point that indeed, everyone she cared about in the village would die.

A tiny child burst out of his hiding place, holding a bow that was much too big for him. He didn't even have an arrow, Lou realized.

"NO!" Raven Wing and Lou screamed simultaneously. The boy's mother had run out and swooped him up, and when she turned for cover, she was shot in the back.

A sound unlike any other Lou had ever heard or ever would hear again seemed to erupt from the depths of Raven Wing's soul. Before Lou could think or act, Raven Wing was leaping from her cover and aiming her rifle.

Lou screamed and reached out, but couldn't grab her friend in time.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the events played out before Lou's eyes, and she was frozen momentarily, powerless to stop them.

Many other Sioux women and old men charged at the same time as Raven Wing, but Lou found she couldn't take her eyes off the beautiful woman who was her friend in every sense of the word.

Dark Wolf turned and saw Raven Wing, and there was a mad blood-thirst in his eyes as he leveled the rifle at her.

Lou screamed and realized too late what was happening, and in a desperate attempt fired at Dark Wolf. Her shot had been too hurried though, and she had missed him.

The sound from his gun seemed to roar above those of the other raiders, and Lou screamed in fury and grief as Raven Wing buckled in mid-stride. She spun around before she fell, and Lou saw that she'd been hit in the stomach. Lou screamed again as another bullet ripped through the woman, this time from her back through her chest. Raven Wing fell to the ground.

Everything else in the world seemed to disappear as Lou emerged from her cover and ran to Raven Wing. Bullets flew all around her, but she didn't notice. She grabbed Raven Wing under her arms and drug her back to the relative safety of the log.

"Oh dear God!" She sobbed as she watched the blood covering Raven Wing's chest and middle,

"how could you let this happen?"

The blood pooled in the deerskin she was wearing and ran onto Lou's dress… _the white dress that Raven Wing had said she'd never wear again._

Raven Wing was choking, blood running from the corner of her mouth.

"You just hang on, Raven Wing, I'm going to help you! You're gonna be fine!"

Raven Wing whispered Curly's Lakota name and her great, wise eyes fluttered closed.

"No!" Lou screamed, sobbing in great, heaving breaths as she cradled her friend's head in her lap, "No! Please!" She begged, and leaned her head down on the slightly older woman's and screamed until she was sure her mind had broken, sure as Raven Wing's body had. Her fingers wound in the Indian woman's silky black hair.

A trembling began deep in her, a trembling that worked its way to the surface. Lou's head snapped back, and her blood covered hands slipped on Jimmy's silver gun as she pushed herself up on knees that had never been so unsteady.

She didn't falter, however, as she raised the gun and took aim. A scream tore from her lips, much like the one that Raven Wing had sounded before she died. It seemed to come from the pits of hell. Lou fired the gun again and again, taking careful aim each time.

" _Murderers_!" She accosted them in a shrill voice, " _Savages!_ "

Five men fell before anyone did anything about her.

The trapper raised his gun at her, but Dark Wolf pushed the barrel to the ground.

"She is mine," He told him, and started towards her.

Lou screamed again fiercely and raised her gun at him, but Dark Wolf kept coming straight at her. The look in his eyes was almost hypnotizing, as if he were a snake willing a rat to be still so that he might devour it. Lou snapped out of her daze and pulled the trigger.

Dark Wolf laughed. He'd kept tabs on her, she realized, though she hadn't even known it, she was out of bullets. And out of time.

Lou stood, the body of Raven Wing at at her feet, and met the eyes of the man that had killed her. There was nowhere for her to go, she realized, and so she looked at him defiantly.

She didn't really think she cared if she lived or not…

"I warned you, captive…" He said softly before raising the gun.

Lou braced herself. She would not beg him for mercy. He was incapable of mercy anyway.

Everything happened fast.

An old brave hiding near by fired at Dark Wolf a split second before he fired at Lou. Lou saw Dark Wolf shudder with the blow then felt a searing pain rip through her middle, and she fell to the ground.

Her last thought was that she was lying on Raven Wing, and should move lest she hurt the baby…

* * *

Spots of blackness swam into Jimmy's vision as he and Curly broke through the opening where the village had stood a few hours ago. They had smelled the smoke miles back, had thought the worst. Their thoughts had been not even close to the terrible reality.

The whole village was leveled. The once beautiful, thick green grass had been turned to dust by the raiders, and every structure that had once stood was collapsed and burning. The air was filled with smoke, and there were bodies everywhere. It was silent but for the sound of flames licking at the remnants of their world.

And no sign of the invaders, Jimmy thought with fury, they were too late.

Terror took over the initial shock. Lou, brave girl that she was, would have been right in the middle of the fighting. And it didn't seem like many of the fighters were left alive.

"We've got to find them," Jimmy told Curly, who nodded absentmindedly.

"I should have listened to her," Jimmy began brokenly, but then closed his mouth. Curly had enough to worry about without Jimmy pushing his guilt at him. They separated and began searching.

Tears filled Jimmy's eyes as he saw the women and old men, killed by these cowards. The ones that weren't dead were injured, crawling along the ground and begging the help of every brave that passed by preoccupied with looking for his own family.

It was as if he'd arrived in Hell. Jimmy's heart skipped at every woman's body he spotted, but still, he could not find Lou.

Then he heard a raw cry from the outskirts of the village that made his hair stand on end. He spotted Curly staring at an overturned tree. Curly raised his arms to the heavens and bellowed again, his sob rising over the chaos in the village.

On legs that wanted to run in the opposite direction, and already knowing what he would find, Jimmy ran to him.

There lying behind the overturned tree, tangled together in what seemed to be a last embrace, were both Raven Wing and Lou, covered in each other's blood.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Homefires

"So we're all agreed, then?" Teaspoon wondered, "It's time to quit?"

Buck, Cody, Noah, and Ike all exchanged guilty, miserable glances. Kid just stared at the fire, lost somewhere in another world, another time, with Lou.

"Yeah," Cody said first.

Ike nodded next.

"They are gone," Buck mumbled quietly.

"We ain't got the supplies to keep going," Noah agreed.

All eyes turned to Kid. Teaspoon walked to crouch where he sat on his saddle by the campfire.

"Well, son, it looks like it comes down to you," Teaspoon said quietly, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

Kid thought about it as if it was the hardest decision of his life. In fact, it was. He was being asked to give up all hope on finding Lou, and Jimmy too.

He was also being asked to live with the knowledge that it was mostly his fault they were gone.

Oh, the others didn't blame him, but he held himself responsible.

Kid squared his jaw, and tears filled his eyes. Teaspoon's hand was firm on his shoulder.

Without looking up, Kid spoke for the first time in hours, "Yeah."

His control broke and his shoulders shook as he gave himself over to the hopeless devastation that he'd kept at bay during the search.

Teaspoon put his arms around the boy and bowed his head to hide tears in his own eyes.

"God will take care of them," Teaspoon murmured, "Until they find their way home to us."

* * *

Jimmy stood in shock, his mind trying to understand the scene before his eyes.

There was no way he could.

Curly, his whole body contorted, bent toward the two women first.

He was gentle as he pushed Lou aside, and kneeled beside Raven Wing. He cradled her limp body in his arms as tenderly as if she still breathed, staring down at the wounds that had drained the life from her. And not only had they taken the life from her, but from his unborn child also. Jimmy would never forget the sounds Curly made in his mad grief.

Jimmy, for the first time in his life, lost total control over his emotions as he staggered toward Lou. He could barely see for the tears spilling from his eyes, and he was unable to breathe, gasping for air.

He collapsed on his knees at her side and took her hand, gently untangling it from his own gun, stained with her blood. He brought her hand to his forehead and bowing over it, sobbed as he never had before.

And then, ever so slowly he became aware of something. The hand he grasped so tightly moved. It was such a slight movement that he wasn't positive, and he hardly dared to hope he'd really felt it. His fingers sought Lou's tiny wrist and he waited, his breathing suspended, his heartbeat suspended, his whole life suspended, until he felt it again.

A weak, but steady pulse testified that she lived.

A cry of hope from the depths of his soul went up as he bent over her, studying her wounds in earnest for the first time. She was shot in her middle, and had lost much blood. In fact, the blood covered the front of her wedding dress, and had run all over her arms, legs and throat. He hoped it was not all her blood.

He quickly discerned that the bullet had ripped clean through her, for which he was utterly thankful. He didn't think he had the skill to dig a bullet out of Lou, and even if he did, he didn't think he could do that to her. He prayed the damage that the bullet had wrought on its way through was not severe.

"Jesus, Lou, I shoulda listened to you," Jimmy whispered, tears still rolling down his face.

He gathered her in his arms, and she lay in them limply. Her head leaned far back, unsupported.

Jimmy balanced her in one arm and used the other to bring her head back up to rest against his chest. He leaned his ear down to her mouth to hear the welcomed sound of her breathing, and thought those small, shallow gasps were the only thing anchoring him to the world.

Curly didn't move or notice as Jimmy carried Lou away. Jimmy knew that there were no words that he could say to help Curly. In fact, Jimmy imagined that the Curly he knew was dying right there beside his family. Jimmy's eyes filled with new tears and crushing grief spread through his heart as he glanced at Raven Wing, beautiful even in death, for the last time. But he could do nothing to help either of them, and Lou needed him.

Jimmy had to watch where he was going, lest he step on one of the many bodies littering the ground.

A light rain had started to fall, and it extinguished the fires still burning in the village. All around him, scenes similar to the one he'd just left with Curly took place. The smoke and fog clung to the ground and mixed with the mist, giving the scene an even more unreal, nightmarish quality. Jimmy held Lou closer, knowing very well how lucky he was to have the chance to save her.

He rapidly constructed a rough lean-to out of what was left of their teepee, and even in the grief flooding him for far greater reasons, it pained him that the place he and Lou had thought of as home had been destroyed. He found Lou's blanket in the ruins and laid her on it, glad to have her out of the rain. With that done he began the long process of cleaning and caring for her wound.

He scowled as he looked at the wound for the first time. She'd been shot from pretty close range, and he wondered how someone had gotten that close to her if she'd had his gun. The wound was a gaping, bloody hole, and her ribs and stomach were already bruising very seriously.

Jimmy imagined that if at least a few ribs might be broken, and knew she would be in severe pain when she came to. He suddenly cursed at his selfishness of drinking most of the whiskey the night before for a lesser wound.

After the wound was cleaned, the medicine man had surprised him by visiting. He cared for her well,taking more time than Jimmy would have thought he would for a captive. He silently applied a poultice to stop the bleeding and left herbs for pain.

"She fight for us," he murmured as he left Jimmy. "We fight for her now too."

Jimmy was vastly relieved that Lou's survival did not depend on him alone. But with the wound closed and cared for, there was nothing to do but wait for Lou to regain consciousness. Her color was good, and her pulse and breathing stronger. Still, he would not draw an easy breath until he looked into her soft brown eyes.

He washed her in water warmed over the fire, unable to abide the sight of the blood that had covered her small frame. He brushed her hair with his fingertips, and just as he had when he made love to her, he memorized every feature. Tears, of their own accord, kept streaming from his eyes at intervals.

Night was falling, and the mountain air was chilly. Lou shivered. Jimmy lay down beside her and held her closely, trying to warm her. He was trembling too, but with the same terror that had gripped him from the first whiff of smoke on the ride back.

A few hours later she stirred for the first time. Her eyebrows knit together as she grimaced in pain. She tossed about restlessly and began mumbling a string of nonsense that Jimmy could only occasionally understand.

Jimmy sat up and put his hand against her forehead, feeling for fever. He found it cold and clammy. She wasn't delirious from fever, but just from the sheer horror of what she'd witnessed.

"Raven Wing," She cried out pitifully, and Jimmy knew then Lou must have seen her die, "No!" She began and tried to sit up. She cried out in pain with the effort but didn't stop trying.

"Lou, lie still, it's over, you are safe," Jimmy whispered to her, pushing her down gently.

At his touch she screamed and struggled harder.

"Lou, sweetheart, it's me Jimmy!" He pleaded with her, "Now, lie still. It's over."

"…the blood…" He heard her say in another stream of nonsense.

This went on for hours. Jimmy was exhausted from the effort of trying to bring her out of her terror, but she continued to stir restlessly and cry out. Her words broke his heart as he gathered she had indeed seen men, women, children, and Raven Wing cut down in mid-stride before she'd been shot.

Finally, she exhausted herself and rested quietly. Jimmy sighed and rubbed his forehead for a long time, thankful that the ordeal was over, for now. He couldn't bear to see Lou so lost in her horror, couldn't stand not to be able to convey to her that she was safe.

About an hour later, she stirred again, and Jimmy raised up from his sentinel post laying at her side, expecting the worst.

Her eyes slowly opened and they searched the roof of the shelter, trying to decide where she was.

She was aware of severe pain in her middle, but it was nothing compared to the memories that assaulted her.

Jimmy suddenly blocked her field of vision as he leaned over her.

"Hey Lou," He whispered and brushed her hair from her forehead.

"You're back...there was an attack…" She broke off, confusion and pain wrinkling her brow. She studied him, collecting her thoughts. His face was the picture of concern.

"Your arm is bleeding," She croaked, voice rusty.

That she was concerned about his arm given the seriousness of her injuries and what she had witnesses was almost his undoing and in a breaking voice he said, "my arm is fine, Lou! How are you feeling?

As if she hadn't heard, she asked, "Did you catch them?"

"Who?" He asked.

"Dark Wolf and the man with the patch."

"Who?"

"Dark Wolf and a big man," She said, frustrated at him for not understanding, yet knowing very well it was she that was not making sense. She wracked her clouded thoughts for an explanation he could understand, "They led the band of raiders who did this…"

"No, we didn't catch them. They were long gone by the time we got back."

"Where am I?" Lou fired the next question as soon as he finished his answer.

"In what's left of our teepee," Jimmy answered patiently.

He wasn't prepared for her next question, "How is Raven Wing?"

Jimmy quickly looked away from her probing eyes. From her wild ravings he knew she knew Raven Wing was dead. And yet, she didn't find that acceptable.

"Lou, don't you...remember? Raven Wing didn't make it," He watched as her eyes grew teary, then had to look away lest he cry again too, "We were too late to help her. I'm so sorry!"

"No!" She growled at him, and snatched the hand he was holding away from him, "How can you say that?" The tears started pouring out of her eyes, and her voice became more desperate, "She's not dead!"

"Lou, don't do this to yourself," Jimmy pleaded, bowing his head.

She was struggling to sit up and Jimmy sighed and tried to push her down gently, "Lay still, Lou, there's nothing you can do and you are hurt pretty bad."

She surprised him by aiming weak blows at his chest, "Let me go!" She began desperately as he quickly grabbed her wrists. He put his arms around her and pulled her to him gently so as not to stretch her wound, stroking her hair.

She screamed in fury and fought him weakly, but Jimmy knew it was not he her anger was directed at, and he let her vent, all the while whispering soothingly to her. Finally, she was spent, and she collapsed against him, sobbing in great heaving breaths that he knew had to hurt her wound.

"This is all my fault," She sobbed miserably, "Dark Wolf warned me!"

"Shhh," Jimmy said, "I ain't letting you shoulder the blame for him, Lou!" Jimmy's voice broke with the fervent wish he spoke next, "I just wished I would have listened to you and stayed behind, Lou. I'll never stop regretting that."

Lou didn't answer. They held each other in silence for a long time, and Jimmy thought Lou might have drifted off to sleep when he heard her voice from below him, "It's time for us to go home, Jimmy."

Jimmy sighed, and his heart broke as he thought of leaving. He had a feeling she'd stopped looking at the village as her prison too. Somewhere along the way it had become a home, albeit a temporary one, to both of them. Yet now, it was destroyed, and the illusion was finished. They would go home.

"I know. There is no one left to stop us," Jimmy said sadly, "We will leave as soon as you can ride."

Lou nodded and then spoke again, her voice small, "Are you scared?"

"About going home?" Jimmy shrugged, "Hell, I don't know. It will be different now, that's for sure. Are you scared?"

"Yes," She answered honestly, "I don't know what is going to happen."

"Lou, yesterday when I found you, I made any number of promises and pleas to God about what I would give for you to survive. Those hours when I wasn't sure if you were gonna be dead or alive...I ain't never been so scared of nothing. But you are all right, and whatever comes next, I can face it." Jimmy smiled slightly, "It will be good to be home."

Lou sighed and reached for Jimmy's hand, "There's so much to be left behind here!"

Jimmy knew she spoke not only of the friends they'd found in the Sioux village, so many of them dead now, but of what they had shared together.

"You know I love you Jimmy," Lou said quietly.

"Yeah, I do. And I love you too," Jimmy told her. "And I also know I ain't the only one you love, Lou."

She didn't deny it. "Jimmy, what are we gonna do about that when we get home?"

"Lou, the way I see it, this was a whole different world. Ain't nobody from home that can understand what happened here, or put themselves in our place. Not even Buck. I don't think you owe anybody an explanation."

"Even Kid?"

"Especially Kid!" Jimmy growled, though he had promised God to let her go gracefully if He let her live. "If you think he needs to know, Lou, I want you to promise me you will let me be with you when you tell him."

Lou nodded, misery etched in her features. She knew she had felt this much grief before, when her Mama had died surely, but she couldn't imagine her heart being more broken. The senseless death of Raven Wing and the other tribe's members, along with the certainty she would hurt either Jimmy or Kid or both no matter what came next filled her with despair.

"Lou, don't cry, darlin."

She hadn't realized that she was. He wrapped her as tight as he dared in his embrace.

"Time will help," He told her, but didn't attempt to curb her tears again.

She fell asleep there, exhausted by her own grief. Jimmy nodded off too, sitting up with her laying in his arms.

Jimmy opened his eyes and slowly raised his head. Trying not to disturb the still sleeping Lou, he scooted from under her and lay her down, covering her with the blanket. She mumbled and shifted slightly, but did not wake up. He brought his good arm up to massage his now stiff neck. He got up, and walked half-stooped out of the low lean-to. Finally he was able to straighten up and stretch his sore muscles.

He moved his bad arm experimentally, and found it painful.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he felt as if he was being watched, and his hand reached for his gun almost unconsciously and he removed the safety.

Curly suddenly emerged from the smoky night.

Jimmy sighed and looked at his friend. He was covered in Raven Wing's blood, and his eyes were bright red, and fierce with grief and fury. His features still seemed contorted, his skin was drawn so tight against his angular face that he seemed little more than a skeleton. He looked like an animal, Jimmy thought nervously, savage, wild and uncontrollable.

"Is she alive?" Curly wondered.

"Yes, she's wounded but improving." Jimmy paused, "Curly…I-"

"It is done," He growled to stop any sympathetic words and continued advancing on Jimmy.

Jimmy felt as if he should draw his gun, but didn't know why. Curly was his friend, and he just couldn't bring himself to think he might hurt Lou or him.

In the shadows he'd looked bad, but now in the dim firelight from the lean-to he looked terrifying.

Jimmy was cautious, knowing grief did strange things to people.

"You will go home soon?" Curly wondered, his voice strained.

"Yes, as soon as she can ride," Jimmy answered.

"You'd go back to the world that has done this to my people, my wife?"

"Now hold on Curly! Dark Wolf was leading the pack, he is your people!"

"Dark Wolf is Apache," Curly spat, confusing Jimmy. However, Jimmy felt asking for an explanation would not be a good idea, "The rest of the men were whites or half-breeds! The white man's blood is poisoned with hatred! I cannot let her go back," Curly suddenly murmured, more to himself than to Jimmy, "Raven Wing loved her too much!"

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy began, leaning forward and trying to understand Curly's mumbling.

Curly looked at Jimmy with eyes that were empty. Without another word he brought the handle of a tomahawk into Jimmy's temple hard, and Jimmy did not make a sound before slumping to the ground, unconscious.

Curly stepped over his body into the lean to.

Lou was just stirring from her sleep. She sat up slightly, despite the pain, when she saw Curly.

"Curly? Oh, Curly, I'm so sorry," She began, new tears filling her eyes.

"It is done," He repeated coldly and reached for her.

"What are you doing?" Lou demanded when he picked her up easily and gently. He didn't hurt her, but he didn't answer her questions.

"Put me down! Where's Jimmy?" She cried out, frightened by the look on Curly's face. She began fighting as hard as her weak body would allow, "Where are we going?"

Curly didn't try to stop her from hitting him. He carried her out of the shelter and stepped over Jimmy.

"Jimmy!" She cried in alarm then slammed her fist into his chest, "You killed him?"

"He is alive!" Curly reassured her, but that was all he said.

Curly withstood her blows as if he didn't feel them. Lou began to realize that he actually didn't. She continued to fight weakly as he threw her on a horse and climbed up with her, riding away from the camp.

"You can't do this! I'm going home!" Lou murmured in confusion, "I want to go home!"

"Yes," Curly agreed with dangerous quiet and the look of a lunatic in his eyes, "We are all going home, my child!"

* * *

One more chapter and an epilogue to go...I wanted to rework the ending a bit, but I'm making good progress, so the story's conclusion should be posted sometime this week.

Thank you so much for all the reviews and kindness-I especially love those of you rooting for the story to go the way you are hoping! I'm letting Jimmy and Lou tell me what will happen with the ending, so we'll see. I'm definitely taking a different final road than I did the first time I wrote this many years ago! But no, I'd never kill Lou...I'm too much a sucker for the canon of the show.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: World Without End

* * *

Jimmy jumped awake and sat up quickly, though doing so sent dizzying pain through his head. He swayed unsteadily for a minute, collecting his thoughts.

 _Why in God's name did Curly hit me?_

He dove inside the shelter, and wasn't surprised to find it empty. Curly had Lou. It was a frightening thought given the unhinged look in Curly's eyes.

He quickly found both guns, holstered them, and put his hat on, though it looked ridiculous with the buckskins and Indian vest. He vaulted onto the appaloosa horse he was used to riding, and then found himself in a predicament.

The light rain still fell and would have washed any traces of Curly away. He looked up toward the mountains and reasoned that Curly would be trying to move further away from the white settlements.

He charged his horse up the trail.

* * *

Lou's teeth were chattering when Curly finally pulled the horse to a stop beside a tiny stream.

"We'll rest the horse," He told her shortly as he lifted her down. He wound a buffalo robe around her, covering the bloody dress. Some of it was fresh blood, she noticed; the ride had been long, the terrain rough.

She looked at him, her eyes very bloodshot, her skin chalky white.

"Why are you doing this, Curly?" She asked him, her voice pleading for understanding, "Why? We are your friends!"

Curly mumbled something to himself that Lou couldn't understand.

"Where are we going?" She persisted.

"Where our spirits may fly free, like Raven Wing."

"What are you talking about Curly?" She demanded as fiercely as she could, "Curly, I'm supposed to go home, to my family! They need me!"

"You'd go back to them, after what they did to Raven Wing?" Curly wondered, looking like an animal about to strike. Lou found herself terrified by him.

"Curly, there were both Indians and white men in that war party. I am white, Jimmy is white, Kid is white, and you are forgetting Curly, you are half-white!"

"No!" Curly screamed at her and his hand moved like lightning to strike her across the cheek.

Lou brought her hand up to cover the cheek now burning with the sting of his hand, her eyes wide, "Raven Wing would be so ashamed of you for doing that!"

Curly then surprised Lou again by breaking into great sobs. He doubled over and screamed with the pain ripping him apart. Lou cautiously scooted closer to him, putting her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Tears started down her face too.

"It will get better," She whispered, though she thought it a lie. She knew that if she ever lost either of the men she loved she would never stop feeling the pain. Suddenly it occurred to her what Kid must be going through thinking she was dead.

"No, it is the end!" Curly said, "I wish to die!"

Lou bent her head as another wave of grief washed over her. He had been so vibrant and alive just a day ago, as had his beautiful wife. Now one man's pride had destroyed not only them, but an entire village. And she was at the center of it all.

"I wish to die," He repeated pitifully.

"Don't say that Curly." She whispered, but she couldn't blame him for wishing for death. He had lost everything important to him.

"There is no time," Curly sobbed, "I must join her soon or my spirit will not find them!"

Lou was terrified for and of him.

* * *

Curly stirred slightly. Lou had fallen asleep, and Curly did not have the heart to wake her and push on. He'd decided to let her go back to the camp. Him taking her from Jimmy was no different than Dark Wolf taking Raven Wing from him.

Himself, he could not go back. What he was going to do, he did not know for sure, but he thought he could not be in this world without Raven Wing.

Curly quietly stooped over Lou, checking her wound. He'd probably done much harm to her by moving her about for so many hours. It was still oozing blood, and her coloring looked too pale.

Torn between seeing her home safe, and the agony of going back to the place that had been his home but was no longer, he hesitated. If he knew Jimmy, Jimmy would be riding hard after them. And Fire Dancer...Lou, he corrected himself, did not need looking after. The horse knew the way, even if she did not, and she could see herself back. He did not think he had another goodbye in him.

In the end he left her the horse and the rifle, and taking his bag, tomahawk, and bow, he disappeared into the trees while she slept, footsteps as quiet as a ghost.

* * *

Lou awoke to the sound of a heavy movement in the overgrowth around the stream, and struggled to a sitting position. She looked around in confusion for Curly, saw that he had disappeared with most of his things.

With a small cry of pain she stood, hobbled to the horse he'd left for her.

Dark Wolf emerged from the woods behind her, advancing on her slowly. With speed that surprised her, Lou lurched for the horse and drew the rifle from its sheath behind the crude saddle Curly used. She was still not fast enough.

Dark Wolf was pointing the same gun he'd tried to kill her with before right at her head.

Lou could do nothing but stand on trembling knees. All she wanted to do was to go home!

"Why?" Lou demanded of him. "Why do you have so much hate? How could you kill them?"

Dark Wolf minced no words, and pulled the trigger.

Lou closed her eyes, waiting for the roar of the shot that would kill her.

However, the gun clicked quietly, and did not fire. It was jammed.

Dark Wolf pulled out his knife and started riding toward her. Lou raised the rifle and took careful aim, cocking the hammer with a decisive click that seemed louder than it should have in the middle of the quiet afternoon.

Dark Wolf stopped his horse and looked at her, fear in his eyes. It gave her endless satisfaction to see him afraid after the terror he had wrought.

"Throw down that weapon and get off your horse!" Lou growled at him.

Dark Wolf was in no position to argue. He stood at the animal's side, glaring defiantly at her.

"You don't deserve an honorable death," Lou growled, fury making her knuckles white as she grasped the gun. She saw Raven Wing fall again and again in her mind's eye.

"You can't do this to me. It is not the way of the white man," Dark Wolf said with certainty.

"I'm not a white man!" Lou growled. "I am Fire Dancer, remember?"

The gun exploded in the early morning air, and Dark Wolf sank to the ground without another sound.

The only regret Lou had was that she hadn't the time nor skill to make him suffer more.

* * *

Lou let the gun slide out of her hands and fell onto her knees. Curly was gone God knows where, but she was afraid he was going there intent on dying. She had no idea where he'd gone, if she'd ever see him again. The insanity and senselessness of the last days nearly drove Lou mad.

Alone in the woods, with Dark Wolf dead by her hand, Lou's shoulders bent and she cried. Her grief turned over to fury. Her scream ripped through the valley. The horse shied away from her. She bent over again as the sobs wracked her. She screamed again and again, unable to control herself. The loss of the past two days had been too much, and she felt she would break under the strain. The pain of her wound was minute compared to the injury to her soul.

And then, Jimmy was suddenly there beside her and gathering her tightly in his arms, holding her closely enough that she thought he was trying to absorb her pain for her.

"It's over now, Lou," he told her, "It's all over."

She cried harder.

"Curly?" Jimmy murmured when Lou had quieted. His heart had stopped altogether when he had heard the shot, thinking he was too late to save Lou from Curly. He was confused to find her alone with Dark Wolf's body.

"Gone. I think he means to die alone," Lou said.

She saw Jimmy fight for control of his sorrow. Wordlessly, his jaw clenched against the pain that news brought him, he nodded. Lou felt the tightness in her throat become unbearable again.

"We'll take Dark Wolf back to the village. The people should see that they have been avenged." Jimmy was not gentle with Dark Wolf's body. He tossed it over his horse like a sack of flour. Lou thought he looked like he could do further harm to the dead man.

"I murdered him, Jimmy."

The confession rose, almost unbidden to her lips. Jimmy turned to her in surprise.

"What do you mean 'murdered', Lou? He has been trying to hurt you since the beginning."

"His gun jammed when he came for me. I had the rifle and he had a knife. I made him throw the knife down, and then I shot him. I shot to kill. H-he was unarmed."

"Lou, you can't beat yourself up about that. First chance he got, he would have killed you. God knows he's tried enough times."

"That's the thing, Jimmy...I ain't sorry I did it. What does that say about me?"

"That you recognized him as evil and stopped him from hurting anybody else," Jimmy assured her. "He had it coming...if not from you, from me."

She stared at the body.

"Lou, you think you can ride back to the village? I don't like being out here not knowing where the rest of his gang are."

Lou nodded, was determined not to make a sound of discomfort as he gently lifted her to his horse and swung on behind her. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and despite the pain she was in, she dozed fitfully, waking with a start from dream after unsettling dream as her mind tried to make some sense of the past days.

They rode back into the village a few hours later.

The people, still shocked at the destruction of their homes and families watched them numbly as one more warrior was brought home dead, and their grief was too great for there to be more than quiet satisfaction at Dark Wolf's death.

Running Horse walked to meet them, the lines bracketing his mouth seeming to deepen in even more pain as he realized his daughter's husband was not ever coming home.

"I will send the medicine man for Fire Dancer. She is bleeding again," Running Horse told them in slow, hesitant English.

"You are both free to return home when you wish," Running Horse murmured. "There is nothing left here for you."

Jimmy nodded. "The raiders?"

"Being tracked by the men that can. They will die."

With that, Running Horse, bent with defeat, turned and walked away.

Although Lou might have made a case for traveling home right away, Jimmy was insistent she take a few days to heal. Given the amount of pain she was in after her long ride, she could not protest.

The medicine man took great care with her injuries, and his calming presence was good for her body and her mind. They were given another teepee, erected by tribesmen. Over the next days, many of the tribe brought them small tokens and gifts.

The day after Lou and Jimmy returned, the warriors returned. They were grimly satisfied, and by the blood that covered their weapons, and the scalps that decorated their belts, she supposed they had exacted their revenge on their attackers.

On the third day, the medicine man told them that Lou was fit enough to ride slowly. It was to be their last night in the village.

They had taken to sleeping curled together, Jimmy frequently giving comfort to Lou when she awoke devastated with the reality of what had happened after dreaming of Raven Wing, or when the pain on her wound kept her wakeful.

On their last night, Lou woke, aware something was wrong. Jimmy's warmth was gone from her side. She wondered if it was morning, but the depth of the shadows told her it was not. Slowly, a soft sound worked into her awareness and she picked her head up to see Jimmy, sitting by himself before their fire. His legs were crossed, his elbows on his knees, and his face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs as he went silently to pieces.

He had been a rock, had comforted her endlessly while she grieved. She had been so wrapped in her own pain, she hadn't realized the sorrow he had shouldered. He, too, had lost people dear to him, had witnessed the untimely death of beautiful, vibrant souls with everything to live for. And Curly... perhaps his fate was worse than death, but they would not know what had become of him.

Lou knew suddenly that the price of carrying both their pain had been great to him, and Jimmy had simply buckled under the enormous weight of it.

"Jimmy…" she whispered, undone by his pain all over again. She moved as quickly as her injury allowed to his side, and as he had for her, she gathered him in her arms and held hard, absorbing his agony as well as she could. The force of his grief rocked them closer.

She felt him start to resist, to gather his strength about him like a tattered cloak, but she whispered, "please, let me give you comfort, Jimmy."

And he bent his face into her neck, put his arms around her, and finally felt all the grief he had been holding at bay, for Raven Wing, Curly, the child they had both wanted so badly, the people of the village, and for Lou, and for what he feared would be lost between them when they left this place in the morning.

Neither of them slept any more that evening, but they lay down together at last, facing each other in the firelight. Jimmy lightly traced the outline of her lips with his fingertips, then pressed his lips gently against hers. It was a whisper of a touch, but it was eloquent in its longing. It was precious and bittersweet, what was between them after their shared experience and heartbreak. She wished she could make love to him again, by the fire, but knew her injuries wouldn't permit it. The longing in his gaze told her he was thinking the same thing.

His lips curled into a rueful smile, "I don't know that I will ever stop wantin' you Lou."

"Me too. Where'd you learn how to...dance...like that, Jimmy Hickok?"

She had the pleasure of watching him blush up to the roots of his hair, and they both laughed, just a little, their heavy hearts lifting a bit as Lou edged closer to Jimmy, wanting his nearness on this final night they would be alone together.

The next morning, she stood beside Jimmy. He held the reins to both the little chestnut horse that they had ridden in on, and the appaloosa Jimmy had ridden since his arrival. It had been a parting gift from Running Horse.

The chief stood before them now.

He had aged a thousand years since last week, Lou realized.

A younger brave translated for the chief, who did not have all the English words he wanted to say.

"He says you have both shown great courage and heart. You are both free to go, but also free to stay. You are free to stay not as captives, but as members of the tribe. He says he will miss you both. He says that his daughter loved Fire Dancer very much and he wishes for her to have something that belonged to Raven Wing."

Lou's eyes filled with tears as Running Horse reached a trembling hand into his pocket.

He opened it and Lou gasped. He held out a turquoise necklace that she'd never seen Raven Wing go without.

"It was her mother's," The brave translated, as Lou looked into Running Horse's eyes. "It has gone from mother to child for many, many moons. Raven Wing would have wished Fire Dancer to have it. To pass to her daughters."

"I-I couldn't," Lou whispered to the brave, "Tell him it's too much."

Running Horse sensed her hesitation and reached out to close her fingers on the necklace, keeping her hand in his. He then reached forward to cradle her neck and bring his forehead down to rest on hers.

Lou leaned against his leathery skin and closed her eyes. She did not need a translator as the old man prayed for her safe passage home, and for a happy life.

He then moved to Jimmy and brought the younger man's head down to rest against his own, whispering words of prayer and protection for him too.

And then, he turned and left abruptly, walking with the hunched shoulders of a broken man.

"Will he be all right?" Lou whispered to Jimmy when he had disappeared from sight.

"I hope so, Lou," He said softly, but he doubted it. He turned to her. "Lou, do you wanna ride on your own or with me? If you'd be more comfortable on your own, she can manage your weight," he said, motioning to the express horse that had hurt itself running for them so long ago.

She wordlessly motioned for Jimmy to pull her up behind him. He did so, and looked baffled when she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Smiling, she explained.

"Remember? You've said from the beginning, we get out of this together or not at all," Lou told him and tears rose in her eyes as she pointed out, "We rode in here together, and that's how we're riding out."

Lou's eyes took in everything a last time as they began their exit. Memories assaulted her. They played in her mind clearly, bringing a bittersweet smile to her face, even as tears spilled down her cheeks.

As she looked at the spot where their teepee had stood she clearly saw Jimmy looking at her proudly and waving his hand at his first creation while Lou watched the structure collapse on him. She looked to Raven Wing and Curly's fallen tee pee and saw Raven Wing emerge from it for the very first time, the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. She heard all of Curly's unannounced arrivals in their teepee, heard the conversations and laughter with Jimmy over whatever she'd tried to make edible for supper. She remembered the day Jimmy had taken her for the ride in the meadow, the wild chase for his hat, and she felt his kiss. She could hear Raven Wing's laughter at the hopeless cause of teaching her to weave. She could nearly feel the heat from the fire as Curly drug her around it, first reluctantly then she could see him as he struggled to keep up with her. Jimmy making love to her with such great tenderness and passion. Then she glanced toward the pond, where Raven Wing had laughed at her fear of the origin the soap and had later helped prepare her for her wedding. Her eyes turned to the creek and she remembered sitting there with Raven Wing, as Raven Wing had told her of her dreams for the baby in the last peaceful moments of her life.

She could hear, see, and feel it all so clearly that she expected to turn her head and find Raven Wing running up to her with a bright smile on her face, and Curly not far behind her.

Of course, she and Jimmy had their share of terror in the time they'd been there, but those times seemed distant as Jimmy drew their horses to a halt at the edge of the village.

Jimmy drew a deep breath, as if for courage to face what was coming. Lou lay her cheek against his back.

As they exited the village, Lou fought not to look back, knowing that it would only hurt her more. She couldn't resist one last glance over her shoulder though, just before the village disappeared from sight. She gasped at what she saw.

A beautiful black bird circled the village gracefully, intertwining with the smoky fog that still clung to the village. It was a hauntingly beautiful sight.

Jimmy heard her intake of air, and turned to see what was wrong. His eyes found the bird and a slow smile spread across his face.

"A raven," Jimmy said softly, and reached to cover her hand with his own.

Lou and Jimmy both felt a small measure of peace settle over them. Lou closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Jimmy's back, touching the necklace that Running Horse had given her. She suddenly saw Raven Wing so clearly that she would have sworn the woman stood before her.

After that moment, she was never able to picture the beautiful woman so clearly again.

When Lou looked back, the raven had flown away.

It had been a journey encasing a lifetime of joy and sorrow, of tears and laughter, of heartache, but most of all, it had been a journey of love. The road had been long and trying.

Now the road led them home.

* * *

Almost there-Just the epilogue left to go!


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue: Miles to Go

In good health, they could have made the ride in three days, but with Lou's injury paining her more than she would ever admit and Jimmy insisting on her taking frequent rests, it took them five days.

Dressed in her everyday buckskin dress, with the ruined wedding dress tucked in Jimmy's saddlebags when she discovered she could not part with it, Lou still felt as if she had a foot in both worlds. She wondered how long it would take her to feel easy in her normal life, wasn't sure if she wished for it or dreaded it.

Still, she had no other clothes, and to preserve her disguise, Lou waited just off the trail while Jimmy detoured to the relay station to fetch their horses. He rode back empty-handed.

"Tom Harris looked like he'd seen a ghost when I rode in. Guess we have been written off as goners for weeks."

"Lightning and Sundance?" Lou wondered.

"The others picked them up and took them home about a week back. They searched for us for weeks, Lou, but they just couldn't find our trail."

Lou nodded, her throat tight. She'd known the boys would be so worried for them, had known they would search, but the confirmation that they'd tried to find them was a comfort to her. She wondered if Kid had searched too. As if he could read her mind, Jimmy added, "Tom said that Kid was near out of his mind to be returning without us, Lou. Said the others had to drag him home."

She met his eyes, saw the admission had cost Jimmy something. Lou nodded, heart beating fast, but she had said very little on this last leg of their journey.

* * *

Kid lay on his bed, eyes searching the bunk above him, where Lou had always slept. He felt like he had swallowed glass since they had come home without Lou and Jimmy, and there wasn't an inch of the station that did not bring to mind some memory of her. Those memories were like deep wounds. He didn't think he could bear to stay; he didn't think he could bear to leave either.

A thousand times a day he thought of the last real exchange they'd had, where she'd overheard him talking to the boys about how things could never work with Lou the way they lived and worked together. He'd seen exactly how much those words had hurt her, seen her stagger away from him as if he'd struck her. At the time, he'd been ashamed, but now he could admit to himself that he had felt the slightest satisfaction that he'd hurt her in return for the way she'd hurt him.

And that last afternoon in the bunkhouse, if he'd just swallowed his damnable pride and said a kind word to Lou...a last word at all, then maybe, just maybe he could live with himself.

As it stood, he wasn't sure how he could move forward. Lou was the great love of his life, and he hadn't realized that until she was gone, vanished. It was more painful that she had gone thinking he had put her aside as easily as an old coat that didn't fit anymore.

"Kid, you going on your run tomorrow?" Cody asked from where he sat at the table, working on his rifle.

"Yeah," Kid acknowledged, noticing the glances thrown between his friends. They seemed to think him some sort of danger to himself since they'd come back without Lou, seemed afraid to let him be on his own for five damn minutes for fear that he'd swallow a bullet.

He couldn't say it hadn't crossed his mind, but it wasn't his way. It was the easy answer to his way of thinking, a mortal sin, and whatever relief it might bring him from his agony, he didn't deserve it. Not before he found out definitively what had become of the two people who had been so important in his life. He'd driven them both away with his foolishness.

"You feel up to it?" Buck asked, "If not, I'll-"

A sudden shrieking from outside made Buck stop mid-sentence and everyone in the bunkhouse leapt to their feet. The screaming was coming from the main house and more specifically from Rachel, who continued screaming-the words unintelligible in her hysteria.

"Did she say-" Cody began.

At the same time Kid said, "Lou?"

Like someone had snapped a taut line that had been holding them back, they all surged as one onto the bunkhouse porch, hardly daring to hope that their deepest wish might be coming true.

And there they were, crossing the shadow of the windmill that always beckoned them home like a lighthouse in dark seas. The appaloosa that none of them recognized moved in a slow walk on a loose rein. However, the distinctive carriage and wide brimmed black hat of the rider atop the horse was unmistakeable. Behind him, looking like a stranger in a buckskin dress, was the small form of Lou.

And for the first time in a very, very long time, Kid felt like he could breathe.

* * *

The station yard erupted into activity as Rachel, Teaspoon, and the boys started toward the bewildered horses and riders at a dead run.

"Here we go," Jimmy murmured to Lou, covering the hands she had resting lightly around his middle with his. Strange that he should feel nervous, of all things, to face them.

"Jimmy, what you did for me back there...what happened, I ain't ever gonna forget it."

"I don't suspect either of us will, Lou. But it's good to be home," he said it first, letting her know that it was okay to feel the surge of joy that had started to lift his own heart when he saw the faces of his family, many of them weeping tears of joy, galloping toward them in long strides.

Tears touched her own eyes. "We did it, Jimmy. We survived, just like you said we were gonna."

And thank God for that, Jimmy thought, with a new respect for how much he valued everything in his life, but particularly these people.

"Better step down before they spook this horse to high hell and she throws us," Jimmy murmured, seeing that the boys, Rachel, and Teaspoon were not going to stop at the edge of the yard and wait for them to ride in.

He reined the horse, who was nervously blowing at the approaching crowd, to a stop and swung down, reaching up for Lou and lifting her down gently. She winced once with the pain and then nodded to let him know she was all right.

Her hand stole into his as they stood shoulder to shoulder and watched the onslaught. He held onto her like a lifeline.

And then there was a tidal wave of family descending on them, wrapping them in their collective arms, and Jimmy lost hold of her hand in the absolute chaos of the joyous welcome.

And suddenly Jimmy was laughing, and also crying, as Cody lifted him off his feet altogether in a bear hug.

"Never thought I'd be so glad to see your ugly face, Jimmy!" Cody yelled in his ear, and to Hickock and Cody's mutual mortification, Cody actually kissed him right on the cheek.

"Billy, I cain't breathe!" he protested, pounding Cody on the back. "And be careful with Lou, she's been shot, for God's sake!" Jimmy fussed as he lost sight of Lou altogether when Teaspoon took her into a hug that finally spurred Lou to tears too.

They all treated her carefully, these men who were her friends and brothers, but with boundless joy and love. One after the other came to wrap her in hugs that were a little tight for comfort to her wound, but made up for it in the balm to her soul and battered heart.

Kid stood a little separate, looking unsure of them and himself, and after she had hugged them all with countless reassurances that she really was fine, her eyes met his across the distance.

He saw the hesitation and uncertainty in her eyes, and knew he was the one who had put it there. Space seemed to open around them as their gazes held.

"Hey Kid," she murmured first.

"Lou…" he said, and that was all he was capable of saying as tears poured down his face.

She walked to him, a little hesitantly, and stopped before him.

"I'm afraid I'm dreaming," Kid said finally, somewhat surprised to find himself confessing this thought to her out loud. "Afraid if I move I'm gonna wake up and you aren't gonna really be here."

"I'm here, Kid," she said softly, her eyebrows drawn together in the v above her forehead that meant she was troubled. "I'm alright."

Still, he stood like a statue, petrified to move.

Sighing, she reached out and grabbed one of his hands. His fingers closed around hers and he held on like she might disappear into mist. Realizing she was really there, he suddenly sank to his knees before her as if his legs would no longer hold him.

"You're real," he murmured in baffled amazement. Then bowing his head before her, he whispered, "Forgive me."

She knelt down before him too, gently taking his face in her hands. "We've both done a good job of hurting each other, haven't we? Maybe now we can remember why it is we loved each other in the first place. Maybe we can be friends again, Kid."

His tears washed over her hands as he nodded, looking back into her eyes. She saw the Hell he'd been in, and wordlessly, she moved closer to him, putting her arms around him. He held her gently, like he was scared to death of hurting her again.

Somewhere behind her, Jimmy watched them out of the corner of his eye, relieved there was peace between them, but feeling the sting of seeing Lou where he thought she probably belonged. Even if she didn't know it yet.

Kid happened to look up and see Jimmy watching them, the pain clear on his unguarded face. With a deep sigh, Kid pulled back from Lou with a look that asked for understanding and gained his feet.

He saw the way Jimmy squared his shoulders, as if preparing for a battle, and Kid knew Jimmy was justified in being on the defensive. It hurt Kid to see what they had come to. He was a proud man, but the past month had taught him in any number of ways, what was more important than pride.

Without stopping, Kid walked straight into Jimmy, folding him into an embrace of welcome, of relief, of thanks.

"You brought her home," he whispered.

Jimmy was surprised at both Kid's reaction and his response. He hugged Kid back hard, feeling his throat tighten all over again. They'd been at odds so long, they both had forgotten what their friendship meant to them, he realized.

Jimmy did not know what would happen if and when Kid learned what had happened at the village, did not know if that would be the death blow to the friendship that still felt fragile. But for now, he was nothing but relieved to see the man who had been one of his best friends from their earliest days together.

Lou accepted Buck's hand to help her back to her feet, and stood there beside him, a smile coming to her lips as Jimmy and Kid embraced as friends.

"Lou, Rachel, Boys," Teaspoon announced, "Let's go home."

* * *

Teaspoon sent for Doc Barnes over Lou's vehement protests. He looked over both her wound and Jimmy's and was sworn to secrecy about Lou's real identity.

He'd been as baffled as Teaspoon on learning one of the riders he'd known for about a year was a girl, but had handled it well, taking Lou's right to do as she pleased with the same calm acceptance as all of them had.

He seemed satisfied with the care she had received, though he said he would have preferred her wound to be stitched closed, it was too late. There were no signs of infection thanks to the poultice that the medicine man had applied, and it was healing. He rebandaged it, bound her cracked ribs tightly, and said he'd be back in a few days.

"Admire your spirit, young lady. Your secret's safe with me," he had said gruffly as he left. Time and time again, the simple goodness of people surprised her. It was a timely reminder.

* * *

Rachel outdid herself for dinner. She made both Jimmy's favorite stew and Lou's favorite chicken, and baked a cake to celebrate. Lou wasn't hungry, but made a show of trying to eat most of what was on her plate. Jimmy suffered no such hesitation and ate with gusto, cleaning his plate of seconds and finishing what was left in the pot. There was laughter and good-natured teasing, and the boys by some unified understanding did not pester Lou or Jimmy for any details of their captivity other than the ones they volunteered from time to time.

It was one of the happiest nights with the boys she could remember, but Lou felt overwhelmed by the attention and the emotions washing through her.

After dinner, Lou escaped onto the bunkhouse porch, aching for a moment of quiet. The bunkhouse seemed so loud and crowded after their quiet little teepee. She hadn't realized how little she and Jimmy, both naturally quiet people, had needed to speak until the chaos of home reminded her by contrast. She knew it was going to take some getting accustomed to.

Jimmy followed her in a moment, lowered himself to sit on the step beside her, his shoulder brushing her shoulder. They sat in shell-shocked silence for a few moments.

"Guess they always been that loud?" Lou wondered.

"Maybe there are more of 'em now?" Jimmy suggested, laughing, "my ears hurt."

"I feel strange, being back." Lou confessed.

"Yeah I know. Give it time," Jimmy said.

"Jimmy, what do you want to do...about us? I mean we were married for goodness sake."

Jimmy smiled, "You would be a hell of a wife, Lou. But we both know the ceremony wasn't finished."

"But in other ways, Jimmy, we were good as married."

"Lou, you know how I feel about ya, but you gotta know that now that we are back, I am Wild Bill again. And Lou, I learned in Willow Springs when Hopkins got you what that means for you. And I ain't gonna let no one use you to get to me again."

"And I guess you get to make that decision all by yourself?" Lou growled, glaring at him.

"If I gotta be the one to live with what might happen to you…"

" _Might_. You mean like I might get carted off to be held captive in a Sioux village? Might get shot by outlaws on any run I take? You ain't God, Jimmy Hickok. Stop acting like it."

"Lou...it ain't an unreasonable worry. It has happened, after all. "

"It happened to me." Lou reminded him. "I knew you'd get there in time, Jimmy...but when you took off your guns I was so scared...scared that you'd let him kill you to try to save me."

"I'd do it again. You are my weakness, Lou. All of you are, but especially you."

"I know a man like you cain't afford a weakness if he is gonna live long. I understand. And I don't like the idea that anyone would use me to hurt you, but I don't like pretending like we ain't anything to each other either."

"It's the opposite, Lou. You mean too damn much to me. And there's Kid to consider."

"You don't owe Kid, nothing Jimmy, and neither do I."

Jimmy glanced at her then, seeing through her bravado.

Lou sighed, "All right. Maybe we do owe him something."

"You and Kid been something special to each other long before I figured out how I felt Lou. Kid's loved you from the beginning, and you have loved him back. Underneath all your hurt feelings and bad timing, I expect you both still do."

Lou started to protest, but Jimmy held up a hand. "I ain't doubting you got love for me too Lou, any more than I doubt what I feel about you. What I don't know is what to do about it, and I got a feeling you don't either. Maybe we both need to take some time to figure it out?"

Torn as she felt, there was undeniable wisdom in this advice. She could feel Jimmy trying to distance himself from her, knew it was about protecting her, but maybe a little about protecting himself too.

Lou nodded.

"And Kid...do you want to tell him?" Jimmy asked.

Lou shrugged, "I dunno. I don't feel like I did something wrong, Jimmy. Maybe I should, but I don't."

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, well maybe I do."

"Then you do what you need to, Jimmy. I wouldn't ask you to go against your conscience."

"You sure, Lou?"

She gave him a wry smile and lay her head on his shoulder. "I ain't sure of nothing, Jimmy Hickok."

They sat there, the sounds from the bunkhouse muffled in a pleasant hum, and watched the sunset together.

* * *

The next morning, Kid sought out Jimmy in the stables, before the others had made their way out of bed to start chores.

Jimmy had trouble sleeping, finding his mattress too soft after nights of sleeping on the ground.

So, rather than toss and turn, he'd gotten up and gone to the stables after looking to be sure Lou slept peacefully, her brow not marked with any pain from her wound.

Jimmy was checking on the little chestnut horse they'd brought back from Johnson's Station, feeling her fetlock for lameness.

"Jimmy, you got a minute?" Kid asked, careful to keep his voice neutral.

Still, the thought of being cornered by Kid made Jimmy uncomfortable. _Better get it over with_ , Jimmy decided and stood to face him. The stall door divided them, and he thought that best.

Jimmy drew himself up like a condemned man, Kid noticed. He felt the old jealousy lick at him, his suspicions confirmed by the guilt in Jimmy's eyes. He shook it off, reminded himself of all the pain it had caused.

"Jimmy, I came to thank you for going after Lou. For staying with her, keeping her safe."

Despite Kid's efforts, Jimmy could feel his hackles rise, just a bit. "She kept herself safe, Kid."

Kid ducked his head and Jimmy hated himself for the resentment he felt, when Kid was standing before him, hat in hand. "Still, thank you for what you did…"

Jimmy sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose in the gesture that Kid knew meant his patience was tried. At last he met Kid's eyes and said, "Kid, I didn't do it for you. But I want you to know, I didn't do it to spite you either. I did it for Lou."

Kid nodded. "I know, Jimmy."

Jimmy met Kid's eyes, then looked back to the little mare. "Kid, there's something that I need to say to you…and you ain't gonna like it."

Kid interrupted him. "Look Jimmy, I ain't blind. I know you, and I know Lou. And anyone can see that you two came back different than you left. Closer. And I'm here to tell you that I don't know what happened while you were there, and I don't want to know. It ain't my business. Alright?"

"Alright, Kid," Jimmy nodded, feeling the smallest bit absolved.

"You two...you are...together now?" Kid asked, trying to keep the pain out of his voice and not quite succeeding.

"Kid, I don't know. Lou don't know. It was a hell of a month. I think she needs some time alone to find her way again. She saw a lot of things, Kid, things that should have broken her. But she's stronger than us. It was just a different world there. You gotta understand that."

Kid sighed. "Jimmy, I don't want to fight you anymore, but I don't know that I can just let her go."

Jimmy nodded. "I know Kid. She's the only thing I'd ever begrudge you for."

"And she's the only thing in my life I wouldn't freely give you, Jimmy, if she was ever mine to give."

"I know that too, Kid." Jimmy shrugged. "For now, maybe we can agree just to try and let it rest. It hurts her when we are at odds over her."

"I thought I'd lost my two best friends, Jimmy. I can do anything after that."

And their hands met over the stall door in agreement.

* * *

A week later, Lou sat on the bunkhouse porch late one afternoon, reading and enjoying a rare warm fall day. The others lounged nearby, peeling potatoes, tending to their weapons, or mending their clothes. They were strangely quiet.

She'd found some peace at last, had settled into the routine of the days and evenings of living and working with the boys again. At unexpected times, her grief over Raven Wing's death caught her unaware, could level her. But she was learning to handle it. She and Kid made cautious overtures at friendship, and she didn't feel so raw every time she saw him. He smiled more too, reminded her of his old self.

With Jimmy, it was still as easy as it had always been, and they had settled into their natural camaraderie without a hitch. She imagined it would take some time for her to sort through her feelings for these men. She didn't know if Jimmy would let her love him, and she didn't know if Kid could love her and let her be what she was yet. But that she loved them both very much was undeniable.

Here she had always been thought of as Kid's girl. In the Sioux village, she had been Jimmy's woman. For now, she was content with being her own woman. She didn't pretend the choice between them would not trouble her, knew that she would one day have to hurt one of them, and in doing so hurt her own heart by choosing the other. She knew instinctively that one of these men was her future. She hoped time and perspective would lead her to choose wisely.

She was happy at the peace that Jimmy and Kid had come to as well. She knew they must have had a conversation at some point, though neither said anything to her about it. She read it in the cautious goodwill they both exhibited toward the other. She was curious about what they had discussed, but didn't feel it her place to ask. Again, she knew the old animosity might eventually rise between them again, but for now, it was well.

She'd start riding short runs again in a week if Doc Barnes gave her a bill of good health. The rest of them would be riding double-duty to pay Blue Creek station back for picking up their runs for the weeks they'd been gone. But for now, everyone but Noah was home and she was treasuring each of them.

Cody, lounging against a porch post, suddenly interrupted her thoughts by making one of the off-the-wall-remarks that was characteristic of him.

"So what did they call Jimmy?"

"What?" All of them asked simultaneously, pausing their tasks.

"What did they call Jimmy?" Cody repeated.

"Who?" Buck asked.

"The Sioux," Cody said, rolling his eyes as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world. "I mean, Lou was called Fire Dancer, so I figured they had to call Jimmy something like Dumb Bear, or Ugly Nose, or something…"

Everyone laughed while Jimmy glared at Cody.

"So what _did_ they call you?" Buck wondered, "Or did Cody guess it?"

Jimmy blushed and looked at the book he was holding. To admit the Sioux called him Fire Watcher would only embarrass him and possibly anger Kid if he made the connection to Lou.

Given the new found peace, he didn't want to risk it.

"They called him Silver Guns," Lou supplied, keeping a straight face.

"That ain't so bad. Hell Cody, they would have called you Squawking Chicken," Kid managed to say before he burst into laughter at his own joke.

The others burst into laughter at that.

"Least I have a real name," Cody muttered sourly, not pleased at all with the way the joke had turned on him.

While they all laughed, Jimmy glanced over to see Lou watching him. He winked at her.

Together they shared the smile of shared secrets.

* * *

The End

* * *

Author's Note:

18 years later, and I still feel torn about who Lou should be with. I love Jimmy Hickock more than is reasonable for a married woman and I think Lou did too. But I'm just not so sure that Jimmy would have let Lou love him for fear of what would happen to anyone close to him. And as much as Kid got on my nerves in Season 2, I do believe he loved Lou and she loved him. The first time I posted this story, Kid got the girl. Now, with some life experience intervening, I am not sure it would have been so easy a decision. So, I left it open-ended, let Lou choose her independence and take her time before moving on.

Myself, I imagine that the canon of the show takes over and that eventually, Lou would choose Kid. I don't know if it would always be a happy marriage, or what would become of them, but I took a stab in addressing those issues in some of my later fan fiction about the war and beyond.

If you read this, I'd love to hear what you think-sorry to my friends who wanted a Jimmy and Lou happily ever after (I so wanted the show to do more about their relationship!)-but you should feel free to imagine that is the choice she makes if you like! Hopefully you aren't too disappointed with the outcome.

To my new friends who left me sweet (and informative!) reviews (Earthdragon, I didn't know Curly was Crazy Horse, and your review actually saved the poor guy's life- in the first version, he died!), you reminded me of the joy that the strong community surrounding this show brought to me back in the day. I don't know what it was about the show that drew such lovely people, but in my experience the goodness of TYR fans cannot be topped.


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